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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

dh putting us in financial ruin

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
1 mom liked this
Im a teacher thay doesnt get summer pay. I work for the sumemer but at a huge paycut. Dh keeps spending like we have the money. Cc have been run up, bills going unpaid. Ive told him we dont have the money. To top it off, hes going back to school this fall. Good for him. Hes getting a free ride thru the gibill. Even getting a monthly housing allowance, 100 percent tuition paid, a book stipend. He put in to get the pell grant, which he got. I suggested since his school is paid for, that he let me use it to pay down the credit card since he may be quitting his job and I will be the only one working, it will be easier on us to have less debt. Nope, he says its for his school, but wants to get another credit card to transfer the balance to. I dont understand him. He already owes 11000 in credit card debt, im trying to help him see reason. That 5000 pell grant is nice to have, he won't need it fornschool, so lets lessen his debt. Am I right?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:32 AM
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Replies (1-9):
JackieGirl007
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:34 AM

 Ugh. He sucks with money. What is he putting on credit cards?

LiliM
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:35 AM

Wow.  Such financial stupidity.  I'm sorry.  Make sure that his credit is not tied to yours in any way.  If you can.  Seperate all that you can.  Make sure any cards in his name are his name only. 

Wow.  I wish I had something more helpful, I'm just astonished at his short-sightedness.

It's for his school?  What bills, if everything is paid for?  There's nothing school related to be paid.

I'd maybe get hard ass, and cut him off from your money.  After all, he has a pell grant for school.  And I'd make sure he is the one on the hook for the CC bills.

suzanneyea
by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:36 AM

How can you stay with someone who is so irresponsible? That would be too much stress for me.

rockgal81
by Steph on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:39 AM

What an ass! The only thing I can think of is that the pell grant will be used for school. Has he already seen the financial aid person at the school? Not all schools are completely covered by the gi bill. I made that mistake when I went back to school with it. 

GaleJ
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:41 AM
I'm not sure either of you is right. First off I would try to get him to agree to stop using credit. Then I would make it clear that whether he is in school or not he must continue to work, whether at his current job or something else temporarily, to start to chew down that debt. As for the grant, in your place I would bank it and hold on to it for emergencies and any unexpected expenses and then once he is finished with school and again earning "full time" as it were then decide what to do with the bulk of it, good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:46 AM
Yes hes been to financial aid, its all covered. Im trying to keep us afloat, but the bills keep coming, even when the money isnt. On top of day care expense and groceries and gas... im having to prioritize what bills get paid... he comes home with a 30 dollar camping cup that's "super lightweight." His excuse is always "we never have money for anything, its stupid, why work when it all goes to bills" we hsve decent cars, a home we can afford, our lights are on... we have enough. Its just exasperating being the person who balances the budget, but I have no idea how much hes spending til I look at the acccount. Then he gets mad at me about it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2014 at 5:50 AM
To me, if the cc gets paid down, we can use that for emergencies. I only make so much as a teacher. Hes claiming that he needs to quit because he doesnt want his grades to suffer. I feel like telling him to go live at school, take all his debt with him and live off his little housing stipend. Lol

Quoting GaleJ: I'm not sure either of you is right. First off I would try to get him to agree to stop using credit. Then I would make it clear that whether he is in school or not he must continue to work, whether at his current job or something else temporarily, to start to chew down that debt. As for the grant, in your place I would bank it and hold on to it for emergencies and any unexpected expenses and then once he is finished with school and again earning "full time" as it were then decide what to do with the bulk of it, good luck.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 24, 2014 at 6:52 AM

He is setting you up for financial ruin, do not cosign for credit cards and if he transfers the balances off ones you are on close the accounts. 

LoveMyBug2013
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2014 at 8:03 AM

It's actually fraud and abusing the system to use an education grant for something other than education.  I'm not sure what he is planning on using it for, but unless it is directly tied to the schooling he shouldn't be using it.

And you need to see a marriage counselor.  He doesn't respect you and he doesn't respect himself. 

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