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why do people get so upset over a baby shower??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 26 Replies
I'm pregnant with my second child but first little girl. This is my husband's first child and of course his friends and family are so excited (they were worried if he would ever start a family or be alone forever). All of his family had talked a little about a baby shower but no one has actually offered to throw one they just talk about it like it is just going to up and happen. It was to the point where every time we bought anything his mom would fuss saying we needed to wait for the baby shower so other people could have the chance to buy us stuff. Honestly I really don't care of we have one or not. Sure they are very helpful since we are completely starting over because I don't have anything left from my ds but we are capable of buying all that stuff.

Well a few weeks ago we went to a birthday party for dh's friend's kid and she brought up the shower asking if someone was throwing one. We told her no that no one offered so she jumped up grabbed her phone and set a date right there saying she was going to throw us one. We were happy of course and thanked her. So we told both mil and one sil about the shower and mil just ignored it pretty much and sil got upset saying she didn't know this friend so she couldn't help plan it. I mean what??? I'm 26 weeks they had plenty of time to tell us of they wanted to throw one but none ever did they all just assumed it was going to happen on its own. It's really not that big of a deal so I don't understand what his family is getting so upset about. We haven't even told his other 2 sisters about it yet. Ugh I'm just annoyed that they are getting so worked up over a simple party. It's so much easier with my family they don't really do parties and just simply either give us money or will buy whatever they want for baby and give it to us nice and simple.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
incogNinja
by Whofflé on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:45 AM
Maybe it's a huge surprise
billysangel
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:46 AM
Ugh! The infamous party planning feuds. BTDT! It's your baby, your pregnancy your decisions!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:51 AM
They aren't really the surprise type. They all wanted to "help" plan it but none stepped up and actually planned one.

Quoting incogNinja: Maybe it's a huge surprise
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 9:55 AM
I really don't care about a shower my first I just felt really weird and awkward. I'm shy I hate being the center of attention. Anyone that wanted to throw one is welcome to but I don't understand the fuss they are making about it

Quoting billysangel: Ugh! The infamous party planning feuds. BTDT! It's your baby, your pregnancy your decisions!
happynewyorker
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:00 AM

you wrote:  they had plenty of time to tell us of they wanted to throw one but none ever did they all just assumed it was going to happen on its own. It's really not that big of a deal so I don't understand what his family is getting so upset about.

Most baby showers I've been to have been surprises to the birth mother.  I would feel upset if you were my daughter and a friend I didn't know was providing.  Baby showers are special times where 2 families get to really meet, socialize and get along.  Plus including the friends.  My feeling is you should provide the contact information to the one throwing the baby shower, give her the important names and numbers and who they are to that person. Let her contact them.  You shouldn't be involved in your own baby shower.  Walk away from the situation and let adults/family deal with it. 

You're 26 weeks you still have about 14 weeks left to go.  This stress isn't helpful for you and especially for your unborn child.

billysangel
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:06 AM
I've had 4 kids. My first was a boy. 10 yrs later I had a girl. Of course family and friends wanted to throw a shower for me. But I asked that it please be at my house and only one shower be thrown. I'm a lot like you in the case of being shy. My last baby was a girl as well. But, she was a summer baby and my other 2 were winter babies.

Quoting Anonymous: I really don't care about a shower my first I just felt really weird and awkward. I'm shy I hate being the center of attention. Anyone that wanted to throw one is welcome to but I don't understand the fuss they are making about it

Quoting billysangel: Ugh! The infamous party planning feuds. BTDT! It's your baby, your pregnancy your decisions!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:17 AM
My husband told his sister she is welcome to help with it but she just complained she didn't know the girl. I'd much rather not be part of it and just let them handle it. Which is why I was really happy when dh's friend offered because she will take care of it however she wants and I know it will be simple nothing crazy over the top. My first a friend of mine threw and it was way over the top it just made me feel really weird and bad that she had went to all that trouble.

Quoting happynewyorker:

you wrote:  they had plenty of time to tell us of they wanted to throw one but none ever did they all just assumed it was going to happen on its own. It's really not that big of a deal so I don't understand what his family is getting so upset about.


Most baby showers I've been to have been surprises to the birth mother.  I would feel upset if you were my daughter and a friend I didn't know was providing.  Baby showers are special times where 2 families get to really meet, socialize and get along.  Plus including the friends.  My feeling is you should provide the contact information to the one throwing the baby shower, give her the important names and numbers and who they are to that person. Let her contact them.  You shouldn't be involved in your own baby shower.  Walk away from the situation and let adults/family deal with it. 


You're 26 weeks you still have about 14 weeks left to go.  This stress isn't helpful for you and especially for your unborn child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:23 AM
We are so excited to be having a girl everyone wanted us to have a girl lol. But really my idea of a nice shower was just hanging out at our house the men cooking something on the grill like hamburgers (I've been crazy about hamburgers with bacon with this baby) the kids playing outside and me and the other women just taking about whatever. Basically everyone just coming together to hang out. But I trust this friend that she will basically throw a shower like that.

Quoting billysangel: I've had 4 kids. My first was a boy. 10 yrs later I had a girl. Of course family and friends wanted to throw a shower for me. But I asked that it please be at my house and only one shower be thrown. I'm a lot like you in the case of being shy. My last baby was a girl as well. But, she was a summer baby and my other 2 were winter babies.

Quoting Anonymous: I really don't care about a shower my first I just felt really weird and awkward. I'm shy I hate being the center of attention. Anyone that wanted to throw one is welcome to but I don't understand the fuss they are making about it

Quoting billysangel: Ugh! The infamous party planning feuds. BTDT! It's your baby, your pregnancy your decisions!
happynewyorker
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:24 AM

 Relax, enjoy life and wait for that amazing baby show.  With all those oohhs and ahhs.

Quoting Anonymous: My husband told his sister she is welcome to help with it but she just complained she didn't know the girl. I'd much rather not be part of it and just let them handle it. Which is why I was really happy when dh's friend offered because she will take care of it however she wants and I know it will be simple nothing crazy over the top. My first a friend of mine threw and it was way over the top it just made me feel really weird and bad that she had went to all that trouble.
Quoting happynewyorker:

you wrote:  they had plenty of time to tell us of they wanted to throw one but none ever did they all just assumed it was going to happen on its own. It's really not that big of a deal so I don't understand what his family is getting so upset about.

Most baby showers I've been to have been surprises to the birth mother.  I would feel upset if you were my daughter and a friend I didn't know was providing.  Baby showers are special times where 2 families get to really meet, socialize and get along.  Plus including the friends.  My feeling is you should provide the contact information to the one throwing the baby shower, give her the important names and numbers and who they are to that person. Let her contact them.  You shouldn't be involved in your own baby shower.  Walk away from the situation and let adults/family deal with it. 

You're 26 weeks you still have about 14 weeks left to go.  This stress isn't helpful for you and especially for your unborn child.

 

EarlGrayHot
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 10:26 AM

Parties of any kind do not throw themselves.  If they want to throw one then they should have planned for it long ago.  For that matter, they could still throw one I suppose.  Why must it be such a big deal that THEY have one for you?

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