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Christian moms...your kids leaving the faith :( how do you handle this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 56 Replies
I raised my daughter in the church her whole life. Sunday school, youth group, home Bible study, the whole nine yards. She always had a bit of a rebellious spirit and tough time with faith, but I was always open minded and understanding and tried to help.

She's 20 now and moved out for college after freshman year. Since then, she's stopped going to church, started partying and drinking and casually dating boys. She has a boyfriend now and she's open about the fact that he sleeps over which feels like flaunting it when she talks about it to me. She posts political things on Facebook that are pro-gay and pro-abortion, and gets into arguments over my and her old youth group friends comments on them. She's said she's an atheist and she never believed in anything we taught her or live by. Essentially, it's like she's become a different person in the last year.

I feel like my heart is broken and I don't know where I went wrong. I know the Bible says a child brought up in the Way will not depart from it, which makes it feel like my fault. And I don't want to be pushy or overbearing with my disapproval, since I know that will drive her further away, but I also don't feel as a mom and a Christian that I can't say anything when I know better. My other kids never had this problem and God willing my younger ones never will. Do any moms have any advice for me?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Mum2D
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I can only speak from your daughters side of the issue, but you have to let her make her own choices and decisions. when I began questioning the faith my mother tried Everything including exorcism. Just drove me farther away. She might come back she might not, but you pestering her about it will drive her farther away. To this day my mother's passive aggressive bible verses at the en of text messages and emails just makes me roll my eyes.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:51 AM
4 moms liked this
YOU did nothing wrong. You planted a seed, and now you need to step back a pray for her and continue to show love to her and encourage her where you can. It's now up to her and God. God is the one who will help that seed to grow and it's her choice to accept her faith or not. It's HARD. But it's her choice, just like it was yours at one point.

Quoting Anonymous: I raised my daughter in the church her whole life. Sunday school, youth group, home Bible study, the whole nine yards. She always had a bit of a rebellious spirit and tough time with faith, but I was always open minded and understanding and tried to help.

She's 20 now and moved out for college after freshman year. Since then, she's stopped going to church, started partying and drinking and casually dating boys. She has a boyfriend now and she's open about the fact that he sleeps over which feels like flaunting it when she talks about it to me. She posts political things on Facebook that are pro-gay and pro-abortion, and gets into arguments over my and her old youth group friends comments on them. She's said she's an atheist and she never believed in anything we taught her or live by. Essentially, it's like she's become a different person in the last year.

I feel like my heart is broken and I don't know where I went wrong. I know the Bible says a child brought up in the Way will not depart from it, which makes it feel like my fault. And I don't want to be pushy or overbearing with my disapproval, since I know that will drive her further away, but I also don't feel as a mom and a Christian that I can't say anything when I know better. My other kids never had this problem and God willing my younger ones never will. Do any moms have any advice for me?
Xat
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:51 AM
I have never been in that situation, my kids are still young. I will suggest to pray for her to find her way back. Maybe someone else will have some advice, good luck.
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Danesmommy1
by Grammar Enthusiast on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:53 AM
4 moms liked this
I wandered from Chritianity at that age too. I found my way back. Leave her be, let her stretch her wings and hope she finds her way back to God.
lovemercygrace
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:54 AM


Quoting Danesmommy1: I wandered from Chritianity at that age too. I found my way back. Leave her be, let her stretch her wings and hope she finds her way back to God.

This.

God Loves you and So do I! 

Make a Friend, Be a Friend, Lead a friend to Christ.


ivegotrhythm
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:56 AM
This again

Quoting Danesmommy1: I wandered from Chritianity at that age too. I found my way back. Leave her be, let her stretch her wings and hope she finds her way back to God.
pinktardis
by Pinky on Jul. 25, 2014 at 11:56 AM
I was raised Catholic but was slapped down pretty hard when I began asking questions. I was forced to go to church and read scripture. This only made it worse and definitely pushed me away. It wasn't until I became a Buddhist that I stopped resenting the church for my family's actions.
katydid150
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Just leave her be. If she decides to be Christian, that fine. If she chooses a different path, that's fine too. Doesn't matter so long as she is happy. 

LauraLuciferMom
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 12:00 PM
The problem with people like you, is that you don't realize your children are individuals, they make their own choices. If they "stray" it's because something (maybe even you) have them reason to, or they never believed in the first place. Don't voice how you feel. It's not your business, she's her own person as well as an adult and if you push the "I didn't raise you to turn out like this" or the "your brothers and sisters are following their upbringing and you aren't so you're an outcast", you will probably lose your daughters trust, ruin your relationship with her, as well as push her further from what you want her to go to. Let her be who she wants. It's not your place to determine who she is or what she believes in. We are suppose to instill morals, respect, intelligence into our children, not religion.
PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 12:01 PM
6 moms liked this

I applaud your daughter for moving away from dogma and embracing women's and gay rights.  Let her live her life.  What you did wrong was forcing religious dogma on her in the first place.

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