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My adoption story

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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5 moms liked this
For as long as I can remember I've always wanted children. There isn't a time in my life that I ever craved anything more than being a mommy. I tried and failed for many years. Got pregnant at 24 and at 10 weeks found out it was a tubal pregnancy. I had surgery/lost the pregnancy on my husband's birthday. Was told by the doctor that to have endometriosis and any subsequent pregnancies would end the same way because of my insides being stuck together severely.

Before then I had only had contact with one baby during my teen years because I had babysat for my sisters friend while she worked. After surgery I refused to be around children or pregnant women. I would go as far as to leave a family members house if they had a mommy friend coming over with their kids. I did not want to let my anger and resentment to show because it wasn't their fault that my body was the way it is.

My husband kept telling me he didn't want kids so we never considered adoption or surgery. Not knowing that he was telling me because of my self loathing and he wanted to make me feel better. Had I known his personal sacrifice for my happiness things night have been different a long time ago but I just pushed the thought of ever having a family out of my mind. I literally went my whole life with only holding that one infant as a teen.

Fast forward 6 years. I'm 30 and my husband is 40 and we life a carefree childless life that we had built for ourselves. At this point I hardly ever think about having a child...and my family doesn't bring up and NY solutions to us anymore.

We move to a different town for my husband's job and after a few months end up having a couple move in beside us and she is 5 months pregnant. I keep my distance as I always have because by now it's second nature. One day I'm sitting outside and she comes over to see my dogs who are playing in the yard. Not ever a rude person I make small talk and am cordial with her until my husband comes home at which time I go inside and forget the while thing.

One day I come home and see her sitting outside alone and for some unknown reason I call over to her and say if she ever wants company she can come over sometime. I surprised myself with this unexpected invitation which ended up turning into a friendship pretty soon after. She was at my house daily and as the days go on in find out they are struggling to make it...behind on their rent...and he is riding and bike to work. Hubby and I feel bad for them and being financially stable we help them as much and we can. I give them rides to places they need to go, bring him to work when it rains, and cook for them to make sure she is and st least getting food in her belly until their assistance comes at the beginning of the month. After about 3 months I would cry myself to sleep worrying about the unborn child and praying that they would soon get on their feet and be able to provide for him. I even went as far as telling my husband that i wanted to move after the baby was born because I couldn't bear the thought of him growing up in a smoke/cigar filled house and ever being hungry.

We had make plans to move to another part of town in a few months. Not to be selfish but to keep myself from going crazy over worry. One night we are sitting outside talking and out of the blue she said she wants to have a baby for me. I tell her that it's an amazing offer but we would be moving soon and to concentrate on her baby amazing nd nd making sure he had everything he needs. The father comes home work and he sits down to to eat the supper I had made and she told him what she had told me. I again told them both they are sweet but i couldn't accept. He then turns to me all serious and says well we have been talking about this for a few months now and you know we can't afford this baby. He will be here in a month and we have nothing for him. Would you consider adopting him?

I am speechless as this was never expected..i was getting prepared to move and I prayed for them every night. My husband doesn't believe they are serious about their decision and tells me don't get my hopes up. I say that if they are serious I would be happy to adopt their baby. I cry and cry and they finally go home for the night.

The next morning pretty early there is a knock on my door. She brought over the clothing I had bought her for the baby and also the car seat I had purchased for them. I am really surprised by this as well because I really didn't think they were serious. She said you will need this. I cry more and ask her if she is completely sure about this? She said she is sure and that the items are for me now and I needed to start preparing for my bundle of joy coming in 1 month.

I start bringing her to her doctors appointments every week and get to hear his heartbeat and making the decisions about after he is born. The day we met with out lawyer the father signed over his rights...and after that we go through what the mother will do after the birth and signing paperwork about what we can do legally to help them. We go to court and meet with the judge and we're approved to adopt. The middle of December my little miracle was born and ended up staying in the nicu for 9 days...me and the birth mom were in there everyday after she was discharged. I stayed with her the whole time and never left her side. We would go see my son in the nicu together and would take pictures together and our lawyer came to meet him and hold him. It was a long road to my adoption story and I still look at him and burst into tears for how he came into my life. My mom finally got her one and only grandchild. The birth parents got on their feet with our help and he has a great job and are expecting another baby in 5 months.

I cant even remember what it was like to be childless and every day is a gift I cherish. They see him occasionally as they moved 2 hours away to be near her family. And there is no awkwardness what so ever. They always text and ask how we are doing and they get to see him through all of my fb pictures.

So there it is. How my son came into my life. He is the best thing that has ever happened to my husband and myself. He is are great dad and I are forever grateful to my angels for their precious gift.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:24 PM
That's so sweet!
I secretly hope for this ending for my sister!
She had a hysterectomy last September because of Endometreosis. She has always said she doesn't want kids but she really does. She avoids babies and pregnant women like you did. She gets very angry and upset when she sees people not care for what they have.
I try not to be the bossy, controlling big sister, but I want her to adopt or hire a surrogate! To get over her fears.
To embrace it. She loves my kids so much and I want her to have some of her own!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:29 PM
I feel for your sister and know exactly how she feels. Even though we can't control what our body does it really does put a strain on even the thought of seeing children...happy..sad..neglected..cared for..knowing that our body has betrayed something so sacred and something desperately wanted is just horrible on the mind. Had he not been offered to us we would never have went out and made something happen to have a baby. I hope your sister heals from her heartache and with your support I pray that she finally gets her secret wish.

Quoting MIA0223: That's so sweet!
I secretly hope for this ending for my sister!
She had a hysterectomy last September because of Endometreosis. She has always said she doesn't want kids but she really does. She avoids babies and pregnant women like you did. She gets very angry and upset when she sees people not care for what they have.
I try not to be the bossy, controlling big sister, but I want her to adopt or hire a surrogate! To get over her fears.
To embrace it. She loves my kids so much and I want her to have some of her own!
me_plus3
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this
That's wonderful! Your story brought me to happy tears. Good luck to you and your family!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:30 PM
Thank you so very much!

Quoting me_plus3: That's wonderful! Your story brought me to happy tears. Good luck to you and your family!
Leissaintexas
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:34 PM
That's amazing! Thank you for sharing that, and congratulations!
MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:35 PM
I hate endo. She has the most severe form. She suffered from age 14 until finally getting diagnosed almost 10 years later and a hysterectomy a few days after turning 26. Same year I had my second child. She missed his birth because of endo actually. It was supposed to be her and DH in the room. She try's not to show it but she can't let herself be as close to him as she is with my first.
I feel a lot of guilt because of the timing. But when I was TTC and got pregnant we didn't know she was going to end up with a hysterectomy.
It's really not fair and even I cry over it sometimes. She and her DH would be awesome parents. They have a big beautiful home, they can financially support one easily. Why?


Quoting Anonymous: I feel for your sister and know exactly how she feels. Even though we can't control what our body does it really does put a strain on even the thought of seeing children...happy..sad..neglected..cared for..knowing that our body has betrayed something so sacred and something desperately wanted is just horrible on the mind. Had he not been offered to us we would never have went out and made something happen to have a baby. I hope your sister heals from her heartache and with your support I pray that she finally gets her secret wish.

Quoting MIA0223: That's so sweet!
I secretly hope for this ending for my sister!
She had a hysterectomy last September because of Endometreosis. She has always said she doesn't want kids but she really does. She avoids babies and pregnant women like you did. She gets very angry and upset when she sees people not care for what they have.
I try not to be the bossy, controlling big sister, but I want her to adopt or hire a surrogate! To get over her fears.
To embrace it. She loves my kids so much and I want her to have some of her own!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
renijazzysmom
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:36 PM
Maybe I missed it, but how old is your son now?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:36 PM
Thank you very much:)

Quoting Leissaintexas: That's amazing! Thank you for sharing that, and congratulations!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this
He was born in december. He is now 7 and a half months old.

Quoting renijazzysmom: Maybe I missed it, but how old is your son now?
FutureCooper118
by Kylie on Jul. 25, 2014 at 3:39 PM

 omgsh. Your story really touched me!! I too suffer from Endo and had a missed miscarriage years ago and am currently TTC. I am so glad to hear that it all worked out and in the strangest of ways. Simply amazing. Thank you for sharing!

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