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She let her little sister go into foster care??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies
My daughter is going into her last year of college. She has a good friend who has has told me had a very rough home life growing up. Her mom was a drug addict and she was neglectful and not a good caregiver growing up. When her friend was 12, she had a baby with a man and they split up quickly. The baby went to live with the man and she lived with her grandparents for a few years. She went back to live with her mom for a year then went to college when she graduated high school. In the same year, the little girl came to live with them after her dad lost custody for beig abusive.

In a previous summer, when she was in her own apartment, her mom lost custody. She took her sister in and said it was a horrible experience. She was violent out of control stole lied etc, and as she's 10 it's not easy to control her. Her mom ended up regaining custody so it was okay and she went back to school.

This summer, her mom lost custody again and apparently basically told the social worker she doesn't want it back again. They asked my daughters friend if she would take her and she said no. So, she was sent into foster care with strangers.

My heart breaks for that poor little girl. I can't get over my daughters friend though. I know it must have been hard, but I can't imagine sending my own sister to strangers. My daughter told me about this and thought it was good that she did, and we got into a bit of an argument about it.
Any thoughts? I'm interested.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:27 PM
3 moms liked this
I would have respect for her knowing that she can not provide the level of care her sister needs
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:27 PM
9 moms liked this
Thoughts? That a 22 year old college student isn't equipped to deal with a high needs 10 year old, that her life has revolved around her mother's shitty choices for too long and that she deserves to live her own without judgement.
TwoPennies
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:29 PM
All of this

Quoting Anonymous: Thoughts? That a 22 year old college student isn't equipped to deal with a high needs 10 year old, that her life has revolved around her mother's shitty choices for too long and that she deserves to live her own without judgement.
quinnsmom715
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:30 PM

the daughter shouldnt have to clean up moms messes.the girl deserves a life..

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:30 PM

I wouldn't have been able to handle a 10 year old even under better circumstances at that age. I don't blame the older daughter for not taking her in.

sheramom4
by Emerald Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:32 PM
2 moms liked this

A violent and out of control ten year old? I wouldn't have been able to do it as a college student. I might not be able to do it now and I am 36. If it bothers you so much call up social services and offer up your home to this young girl. But your judgment of a young woman who has had a very difficult life is ridiculous. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:36 PM

This girl is what, 22?  What 22 year old is equiped to parent a 10 year old at all, say nothing about one with fairly big problems?  You have no right to judge her for doing what she likely thought was best for both her and for her sister.

cybcm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:37 PM

It takes a bigger person to acknowledge that they cannot provodie a child with the care and help they need then a person who knows they cannot do it but does it half-assed out of obligation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:38 PM

If the sister is violent and a danger, then sometimes the tough choice must be made.  If the friend took her sister in, any trouble she got into would hold the friend accountable.  One must be committed to focusing on working through the little girl.  The sister does not have the time or inclination to do so.  It's better to not try if you're heart isn't going to be in it.  IMO.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:39 PM
I took in my 14 year old sister from an almost identical situation. She was so cruel and manipulative, that from 14 to 20 she did anything and everything she could to show she was better than others. I was married, had a beautiful family and worked hard to own my home and vehicles. She said I beat her (never did), said I needed my kids taken away, tried to convince my dh I was cheating on him, tried to seduce him, then said he tried to rape her and I needed to file for divorce. She also accused three other people of the same (including one of our other sisters who was treated as a delinquent for five years because of it. She later admitted she made up the whole thing and bragged that one of the foster parents she falsely accused ended up I jail over it.) she was a flipping nut. Everyone was fooled for years and kept telling me I was crazy, she was a sweet girl. If that woman said no, trust her judgement! She knows her sister better than you ever could!
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