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has your relationship been tested by a major medical issue??

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies
I had a life threatening issue. It was stressful and tiresome to get treatment and I was in a lot of pain so I wasn't the nicest person.

My SO took care of me the whole time, no family, but now he says He's fed up because of how I was acting after my diagnosis until treatment was complete and was slowly taken off meds.

I feel bad, but i feel like he should be more compassionate, i wasn't myself, i wish a camera could have followed me just so i could see, you know? I don't remember most of the time frame just from the stress and trauma I was put through

Your thoughts?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CadillacCutie
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:39 PM
How difficult/mean were you exactly!?
corticosteroid
by Sapphire Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:41 PM

Well, I was diagnosed with menopausal psychosis after I attempted suicide, and I was in The Crackup Shack for over a month while they sorted out my medications and nutritional needs and whatnot.  The entire year preceding the diagnosis was ghastly, I was not a fun person to be around to be sure.  My husband stuck it out, did what needed to be done and has been nothing but supportive.  I'm doing better now, I still have a ways to go but it's nothing like how bad it was even six months ago, and he's just happy that I'm more like the old me than I was.  I'm sorry you're going through this, do you think counseling would help?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:41 PM
I was high anxiety before i began treatment.
Needy during treatment
And mean after, i was coming off of dilauted, basically fucking heroine, which i didn't know until recently

Quoting CadillacCutie: How difficult/mean were you exactly!?
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe you should be more understanding?  It goes both ways.  Yes, partners should be there for each other, but if one is being a pain above and beyond that necessary for care - as in their attitude while being taken care of sucks - the caregiver has a right to feel frustrated and unappreciated.

CadillacCutie
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:43 PM
I've been struggling with severe anxiety for years and never have been mean to H because of it. So I guess I don't understand. I'm sorry.
There is only so much ppl can take. I guess he's had enough.


Quoting Anonymous: I was high anxiety before i began treatment.
Needy during treatment
And mean after, i was coming off of dilauted, basically fucking heroine, which i didn't know until recently

Quoting CadillacCutie: How difficult/mean were you exactly!?
smorgan865
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:45 PM
Yes. My husbands kidneys were failing. We were waiting for a donor. We found out he'd need a transplant just about a week before I got my first positive pregnancy test. Finally his aunt was matched :)

He had his kidney transplant 5 days after our first was born.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:45 PM
I've tried being understanding. I did everything i could to make it easier on him. It just seemed that me coming off of dilauted was it, it broke him. I can't help that the shit made me nuts. It was very much like i was a heroine addict near the end even though i took it as prescribed. So coming i came off like an addict would, fucking bitchy and tired and irritated easily. Whoo it was bad

Quoting Hubris_Huntsman:

Maybe you should be more understanding?  It goes both ways.  Yes, partners should be there for each other, but if one is being a pain above and beyond that necessary for care - as in their attitude while being taken care of sucks - the caregiver has a right to feel frustrated and unappreciated.

Closet_Case
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:47 PM
Not life-threatening but my husband has been there with me through three surgeries.
An emergency appendectomy, wrist surgery after I broke it falling downstairs, and now a C-section
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:50 PM
It wasn't the anxiety that did it. It was me coming off heavy meds.
I honestly should have been able to Get an in home nurse imo would have helped so much

Quoting CadillacCutie: I've been struggling with severe anxiety for years and never have been mean to H because of it. So I guess I don't understand. I'm sorry.
There is only so much ppl can take. I guess he's had enough.


Quoting Anonymous: I was high anxiety before i began treatment.
Needy during treatment
And mean after, i was coming off of dilauted, basically fucking heroine, which i didn't know until recently

Quoting CadillacCutie: How difficult/mean were you exactly!?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 25, 2014 at 7:50 PM

Sorry, but that sounds like a copout. I was an addict as well and I detoxed off a 10 year drug habit. I was never an asshole to my dh while he took care of me. That's no excuse to be a dick. Sounds like you just took everything out on him, which is not ok. 

Quoting Anonymous: I've tried being understanding. I did everything i could to make it easier on him. It just seemed that me coming off of dilauted was it, it broke him. I can't help that the shit made me nuts. It was very much like i was a heroine addict near the end even though i took it as prescribed. So coming i came off like an addict would, fucking bitchy and tired and irritated easily. Whoo it was bad
Quoting Hubris_Huntsman:

Maybe you should be more understanding?  It goes both ways.  Yes, partners should be there for each other, but if one is being a pain above and beyond that necessary for care - as in their attitude while being taken care of sucks - the caregiver has a right to feel frustrated and unappreciated.


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