Dh and I have 4 kids. We always start trying for the next baby when the youngest turns 2 and I am always pregnant within a month or two. its not something we advertise or anything but since our kids are all spaced out less than three years apart people around us pretty much figured that out. Our youngest is about to turn 2 so you know what time it is.
Sil and her dh have been trying for their first child since they got married almost 5 years ago with obviously no success. They started fertility treatments 2 months ago and she is taking it very hard each month when they didn't work. However they are still trYing. Mil called me and told me that she knows that this is usually around the time we start trying but that because of SIL we should hold off until she gets pregnant. She explained that with my last pregnancy SIL was very very devastated that I got pregnant after she had already been trying so long (which of course I knew and did my best to be sensitive to her) and now that they're doing fertility treatments it would be even harder on her if I got pregnant with my 5th before she gets pregnant with her first.
I told her that I do understand the situation but I don't feel that we should be be basing such a major life decision around what sil does. Mil got mad and said that I am being selfish. I told her that that's how it should be. A decision like this should be based on what's best for me my husband and our children no one else.she then asked if I do get pregnant before SIL what I maybe talk to her about the possibility of Surrogating for her if the fertility treatments don't work. I guess this was to give her the knowledge that Within maybe 2 years she could have Her own child even if the fertility treatments don't work. I told MIL that I wasn't willing to do that. I know that surrogacy is a wonderful thing and could really help her but it's not something that I feel I would be able to do. Mil started yelling and crying about how heartless and selfish I am and how hurt sil is and how much worse my 5th pregnancy will make her.
I realize that she's hurting for her daughter but I still don't think it justifies treating me this way and I have to say im a lil bit hurt. I'm considering talking to dh about it and maybe just deciding to keep our distance for a while.