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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't believe she expects us to put off trying

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
Dh and I have 4 kids. We always start trying for the next baby when the youngest turns 2 and I am always pregnant within a month or two. its not something we advertise or anything but since our kids are all spaced out less than three years apart people around us pretty much figured that out. Our youngest is about to turn 2 so you know what time it is. Sil and her dh have been trying for their first child since they got married almost 5 years ago with obviously no success. They started fertility treatments 2 months ago and she is taking it very hard each month when they didn't work. However they are still trYing. Mil called me and told me that she knows that this is usually around the time we start trying but that because of SIL we should hold off until she gets pregnant. She explained that with my last pregnancy SIL was very very devastated that I got pregnant after she had already been trying so long (which of course I knew and did my best to be sensitive to her) and now that they're doing fertility treatments it would be even harder on her if I got pregnant with my 5th before she gets pregnant with her first. I told her that I do understand the situation but I don't feel that we should be be basing such a major life decision around what sil does. Mil got mad and said that I am being selfish. I told her that that's how it should be. A decision like this should be based on what's best for me my husband and our children no one else.she then asked if I do get pregnant before SIL what I maybe talk to her about the possibility of Surrogating for her if the fertility treatments don't work. I guess this was to give her the knowledge that Within maybe 2 years she could have Her own child even if the fertility treatments don't work. I told MIL that I wasn't willing to do that. I know that surrogacy is a wonderful thing and could really help her but it's not something that I feel I would be able to do. Mil started yelling and crying about how heartless and selfish I am and how hurt sil is and how much worse my 5th pregnancy will make her. I realize that she's hurting for her daughter but I still don't think it justifies treating me this way and I have to say im a lil bit hurt. I'm considering talking to dh about it and maybe just deciding to keep our distance for a while.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:21 AM

BUMP!

Missdameanor
by Not-a-felony on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:23 AM
Your life, your uterus! Don't live to please others.
Rlmama00
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:24 AM
Mil needs to mind her own business. Let your dh handle her. She is out of line.
MommyAddie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:27 AM
What you said at the end is exactly what you should say to your mil-- I know you're hurting for your daughter, I would feel the same way for mine, but you have crossed the line with how you spoke to me.
smalltownteddy
by Fletcher on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:27 AM
MIL needs to step back. My eyes popped out of my head with the surrogacy "suggestion".
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

It is unbelievable what people expect others to do .   It is selfish for someone to expect you to change your entire life to suit them .   No way .  You don't have to  feel guilty one bit.   

MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:28 AM
Wow. You shouldn't have even been asked.
Abd you especially shoddy have had mil snap on you!
Part of why we are waiting for our third together is because my sister had a hysterectomy less than a year ago. She has no kids. But that's our choice. Not someone's bold expectations. You and your DH are the only ones who need to make th choice that's best for you. No one has a right to stick their nose in your business!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:30 AM
Quoting Rlmama00: Mil needs to mind her own business. Let your dh handle her. She is out of line.
usually I do but in this case she was actually talking to me.
krazymom2boyz
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:30 AM
She was totally out if line. I do understand (a little bit) how upset your sil is going to be. I wanted a large family like yours but due to serious complications err had to stop at 2. Both my sister's have gotten pregnant and have more kids than I do and neither of them Wanted that many kids. I'm happy for them and live my nieces and nephews but each pregnancy hurt my heart a little bit. I sucked it up though and threw all their baby showers.
graybealgirl
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 9:31 AM


Quoting MommyAddie: What you said at the end is exactly what you should say to your mil-- I know you're hurting for your daughter, I would feel the same way for mine, but you have crossed the line with how you spoke to me.
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