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18 month old. beligerent and violent. wtf?!?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 70 Replies
My nephew is 18months old. Abandoned by his mom 2.5 months ago. Some of you may remember me posting about him over the last couple months. He has recently become very violent, when hes mad and now even when hes not. Like he'll just be sitting there playing and then BAM hes head butting my to where my nose bleeds, hes even given me a headache so bad I needed medicine and a nap from headbutting me. He will pick up a toy and slam it in my kids face or back, and when they cry he starts laughing. He tries to break things and although I dont know how he can be so purposefully destructive at this age, it seems to be Intentional.

Another thing is the beligerence, ive reprimanded him a hundred times for standing up in the kids mini recliners, its unsafe and I dont want him hurt. Well he will be sitting there perfectly fine, and when he notices me looking at him he will intentionally stand up and try to stare me down. He will be perfectly happy with his cup, walk up to
me, get my attention, look me straight in the eye, and throw it at my feet. He knows very well throwing his cup is not allowed, weve been over it a thousand times. He also knows the kitchen cabinets are off limits, he will go open the cabinets and then yell until I enter the room and then try to stare me down.

I just dont understand, I give him love, affection, discipline, structure, routine, everything and hes being so difficult im about to pull my hair out. And he refuses to speak, he only knows about 6-8 words, and even then he cant pronounce them well, hes just so repetitive weve learned what hes trying to say.

Idk what to do, im lost, help? Any advice?

I always knew hed have issues from his mom leaving, but I didnt expect them this early, hes so young to Intentionally be this bad. Its breaking my heart, my patience, and my spirit. :(
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:38 AM
I've got nothing, good luck.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:39 AM
Thanks :(

Quoting DameDeLaMer: I've got nothing, good luck.
by Emerald Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Poor kid :(
What does his doctor say?
Believe it or not they have counseling for babies. My son is part of at home head start for delays and she give me all sorts of flyers for community events and things going on.
One was for weekly counseling for under 3.
Get in contact with his doctor and push for and use every thing he is qualified for.
Be his advocate and help him in every way possible!
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by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
He is trying to communicate but he doesn't know how. Poor kid. It must be frustrating for him.
by beast mode on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
This stuff doesn't sound totally out of a character for an 18 month old. Maybe a more aggressive one but not terrible. This is that age where they know your boundaries and test them. They wamy to gauge your reaction and figure out what they can get away with. Just be consistent with your discipline and dont let him get sway with it. Eventually this stage will pass. Just keep loving him and guiding him. Take him to a behavioral sorcialist in a few years if you feel he's acting out still.
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:43 AM

His lack of language may be the key to his problems, add to it the changes and issues that the mother may or may not have caused (if she was neglectful).  He is still a baby  with lots of hope and possibilities. Get him evaluated by early intervention and they can help you and him with therapies that will help him.

by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:44 AM
3 moms liked this

He is 18 months old...I think your expectations are too high for him. 

Have you spoken with his Dr. to let he/she know your concerns?  They probably have advice for you.  That's where I would start. 

by Grammar Enthusiast on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:45 AM
1 mom liked this
He's been through a lot of changes and upset. Be consistent, firm and loving. Good luck!
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:45 AM

Also, you might want to look into baby sign.  There is a great website that can teach you how to communicate better with him. 

by Navy Mom on Jul. 26, 2014 at 11:47 AM
2 moms liked this
  • Do not give him the cup while he's walking around.  Sit his ass down in the high chair, let him have his cup, and when he's done or doesn't want anymore (or throws the cup), take him out and put away the cup.  He shouldn't be walking around drinking and eating.
  • If he misbehaves, put him in a time out.  Do not allow him to run the house. If he climbs on something, physically remove him and tell him no.  If he does it again, into the crib or playpen for time  out.
  • Why is he allowed to go into the kitchen unattended to begin with?  Put locks on the cabinets (you need them anyway to prevent poisoning).  You can get them in the baby section of Wal-Mart, K-Mart, even Home Depot sells them.  They mount from inside the cabinet.
  • When you are playing on the floor with him, keep him at an arm's distance so he can't head butt you.
  • He's 18 months, you are the adult.  Why is he being allowed to behave this way without reprocussions?  Get over the guilt of his mother abandoning him.  You didn't do that.  
  • Get in touch with a child psychologist.  He may have deeper issues than being angry mommy abandoned him.  
  • Good luck!
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