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My daughter fractured her foot and it's her own fault

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies
1 mom liked this

She's 11 and has just been given permission to stay home for an hour and a half after school instead of going to after-school care considering that next year when she moves to grade 7 (which is high school where I'm from) there will be NO after school care). I've told her that while I'm gone, I do not want her at the park, on the trampoline or having anyone at the house (or using the internet). She can play with the dogs, play in the backyard and use the microwave/tv (and do her homework). Basically she has options. On Friday afternoon she decided that I would never KNOW if she had the next door neighbour over (whose parents also work) and on the trampoline with her. It would have worked out except the girls decided to A) bring the dog on to the trampoline and B) practice their back handsprings. DD tripped over the dog as her hands hit the trampoline and somehow fell OFF the trampoline landing on her foot. They thought it was broken so they called ANOTHER neighbour (18 and in HS) to take them to the hospital, who had the sense to call me (via bluetooth) to tell me what happened -because the girls wanted to keep it a secret. I don't know how they planned to keep a broken leg a secret. But anyway - I managed to meet them (and DH) while they were still waiting, and asked the neighbour to please take the other girl home and call her parents.

After X-rays it turns out it's fractured not broken, and she will be in a "moon boot" (which is like a removable velcro cast) for 3 weeks. We were back at the doctors this morning for pain medication (they don't do prescriptions at the hospital) and crutches. DH and I talked while she was in the therapy room learning how to use the crutches and decided that she will be back in after-school care (thank goodness there's always plenty of space), not just while she's on the crutches, but until she proves herself trustworthy. Because she is now no longer getting herself home and alone at home, I have taken her mobile indefinetely; and found a message from the neighbour bragging that she hasn't been punished for breaking her mom's rules and for going in the car with the neighbour (which we are also punishing ours for - she's grounded for an additional 2 weeks after the crutches are off) because her mom said it was MY fault for not hiring a babysitter and for having something as dangerous as a trampoline around such young children.... *facepalm*

So, what do you think? Is there anything you'd do differently? BTW - I haven't TOLD her it's her fault - I've just told her that these things happen, especially when you don't do the right thing - natural consequences seem to happen. I told her about the time that I snuck out to a party at 17, had a super great time and then broke my leg trying to climb INTO my window.... I told her I'm sorry she's hurt but I'm still disappointed in her behaviour and secrecy.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
csxt99
by Jennifer on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Does she go to a year-round school?

I agree with what you're doing. I do not agree with her friend's mom. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:08 AM
1 mom liked this

We're not from USA. We have summer vacation in December lol.

Quoting csxt99:

Does she go to a year-round school?

I agree with what you're doing. I do not agree with her friend's mom. 


cali_gurl
by Ruby Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:08 AM
1 mom liked this

I would not let her hang out with that other girl much anymore. I also would not be pussy footing about her getting hurt because of her choices. But I think you are right to see that she is not mature enough yet to be left alone. Good luck to you all.

momofhnd
by Gold Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:09 AM
Seems like you have it handled. I don't think I would be doing anything differently.. ds broke both sides of his ankle a few years ago right before track season when he thought he was super man and could jump down 12 stairs. .
bowribbonmama
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:10 AM

Lesson learnt. Make her work her way back up to being able to be home alone.

StreetsAhead
by Gold Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:10 AM
Yes, it is her fault, she had rules, is old enough to follow them chose not to and got hurt. That's life.
(I was leaving DS at home after school at the same age and he too had rules, and knew if he didn't follow them he would be spending after school with Mrs Boyd which no one wanted)

Not sure why you are punishing for going in the car though - yes they shouldn't have ask that person to cover (which they obviously didn't) but they do use some level of common sense in getting someone to take them to A&E
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:11 AM

It won't be for a while - but yep

Quoting bowribbonmama:

Lesson learnt. Make her work her way back up to being able to be home alone.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:12 AM

I work less than 15 minutes away. If they had've called me first - I would have told them to call my sister (who is a SAHM) OR her. But I would've liked to know in advance.

Quoting StreetsAhead: Yes, it is her fault, she had rules, is old enough to follow them chose not to and got hurt. That's life. (I was leaving DS at home after school at the same age and he too had rules, and knew if he didn't follow them he would be spending after school with Mrs Boyd which no one wanted) Not sure why you are punishing for going in the car though - yes they shouldn't have ask that person to cover (which they obviously didn't) but they do use some level of common sense in getting someone to take them to A&E


StreetsAhead
by Gold Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:15 AM
I can see that.
However at what 11(?) I can see why they didn't think like that, they did do something sensible in getting someone to take them.
Not that they shouldn't have told you but I think age, moment all that they didn't think like that.
But punishing for going in that car seems a little harsh because nas I said it was relatively sensible

Quoting Anonymous:

I work less than 15 minutes away. If they had've called me first - I would have told them to call my sister (who is a SAHM) OR her. But I would've liked to know in advance.

Quoting StreetsAhead: Yes, it is her fault, she had rules, is old enough to follow them chose not to and got hurt. That's life.
(I was leaving DS at home after school at the same age and he too had rules, and knew if he didn't follow them he would be spending after school with Mrs Boyd which no one wanted)

Not sure why you are punishing for going in the car though - yes they shouldn't have ask that person to cover (which they obviously didn't) but they do use some level of common sense in getting someone to take them to A&E

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 27, 2014 at 4:19 AM

I can see that we see this a different way. But as I said -the girls specifically said they wanted to keep it a secret. Hence the punishment. I would have said absolutely nothing (besides thankyou) if it had've been the way you described it - but it wasn't.

Quoting StreetsAhead: I can see that. However at what 11(?) I can see why they didn't think like that, they did do something sensible in getting someone to take them. Not that they shouldn't have told you but I think age, moment all that they didn't think like that. But punishing for going in that car seems a little harsh because nas I said it was relatively sensible
Quoting Anonymous:

I work less than 15 minutes away. If they had've called me first - I would have told them to call my sister (who is a SAHM) OR her. But I would've liked to know in advance.

Quoting StreetsAhead: Yes, it is her fault, she had rules, is old enough to follow them chose not to and got hurt. That's life. (I was leaving DS at home after school at the same age and he too had rules, and knew if he didn't follow them he would be spending after school with Mrs Boyd which no one wanted) Not sure why you are punishing for going in the car though - yes they shouldn't have ask that person to cover (which they obviously didn't) but they do use some level of common sense in getting someone to take them to A&E



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