Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you really want to know?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 30 Replies

So here's the deal. My DH has been acting very strange lately. I'm talk weird giggling in his sleep, quiet, has been leaving his phone and laptop in his car overnight (locked- only found out because my DH sent me out to the truck for something), intimacy is ok I guess (sorta plateau) and he's been coming home later (stating he's stopping to hang out with his brother, a friend ect).

I know I should have kept my mouth shut but my father is a private detective/investigator and he works with the local pd as a contractor. So, he kinda dug it out of me and I sorta blurted it out (above). My dad is now giving me the option of putting a "bug" in his car for GPS and silent eavesdropping/voice activated recorder. I am very hesitant to do this. 

The last time I went looking for dirt, I found dirt (somebody else) and I kicked myself over and over again that ignorance WAS bliss. Then again, I'm glad I found out. If I DO this and find nothing, I'll have extreme guilt and I can't live with it I already know, and there will be hell to pay. If I DO this and find something, I'll be heartbroken, our family dynamic will dissipate and hell will break loose. If I DONT do this and he IS messing around, I'll either never know or when I do, I will wish I would have known. If I DONT do this and he ISNT messing around, then great, but even thinking about it I feel awful. 


What would you do?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
EmilysMom2010
by Ruby Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I would do it.
I HAVE to know.
The sooner the better.
StreetsAhead
by Gold Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:14 AM
Yes I would want to know if I suspected something
MeaganP
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:15 AM
1 mom liked this
If u dont trust him its time to talk to him or just move on
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:15 AM

I'd do it, or I would leave. The questioning is too much and you will never be sound in your head. So either get the answers and deal with the fallout or feeling like a dweeb for doubting him. Or leave now because not knowing will do as much damage as knowing.

petitekatie
by Platinum Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:15 AM
Why not just confront him like an adult?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:17 AM
Ugh. My husband cheated. And told me. Sometimes I wish I didn't know. I always swore I'd leave, but it's not that easy.

My brain is glad he told me. My heart still regrets it.

I hope your husband isn't. Maybe counseling instead of snooping?
sky87
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:19 AM
How stupid is this guy? Your dad is a PI, and he still fucks around on you? I would leave his ass just based on an incurable case of stupidity.
PogoPalOj
by on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:20 AM

Wow.  I am so sorry.  It must be painful to live with someone you don't trust.  I've been there.  I think it would be better to know instead of letting it chew you up inside.  If you find nothing, then you will be at ease.  If you find somehting, then you will know to take action.  Good Luck.

MaiVal
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:24 AM

You deserve to know. Especially if he is acting suspicious. 

MaiVal
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2014 at 5:27 AM

How could she know he is telling the truth? If he was cheating he would lie his ass off. She can't expect him to just roll over and tell her what he is doing, IF he is doing anything. 

Quoting petitekatie: Why not just confront him like an adult?


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)