Grandparents - involved or not?

[Anonymous]

DH and I have two wonderful children - age 3 and 6 months.  His dad and stepmom also have a three year old ( we did not have kids super early - his stepmom is younger than his dad) 

But they aren't ever around for my kids and it bothers me.  He is the only grandpa my kids have and it's hurtful.  They aren't my parents so I don't feel like it's my place to say anything but I also want my kids to grow up with grandparents.  

I used to not let it upset me, but it's really starting to.  My mom and DH's mom come around a lot and LOVE to call, visit, etc but his dad and stepmom just don't care.  To make matters worse the 2 three year olds LOVE each other...and enjoy doing things together but we can't even get them to make plans with us and stick to them - unless we are babysitting for them.  

Any tips on how to bring it up or learn how to deal with it on my own without bringing it up?

[Hilary799]

Bump

[Not_A_Native]

You need to realize that you can't "make" someone else have a relationship.  Your fil has a young child, is busy.  Perhaps when the child gets a bit older, maybe he'll have more time - but for now, just be happy with the extended family you DO have.

[alexsmomaubrys2]

You can't force people to want to be involved in your or your kids lives unfortunately.

Be happy that the grandmothers are involved.

[vegaswife2011]

Hugs. You can't make anyone be involved as much as you would like them to be. Good luck mama, hope it all works out.

[ivegotrhythm]

I'm sorry. My dad is so obsessed with my son that it's uncomfortable and annoying at times. But i'm grateful because his father has dropped off the face of the planet and hes the only male role model my son has.

My ex mil does not enjoy spending time with my son ( or boys period) and there's nothing i can do about that. ex

[jessi2girls]

my parents are, and their nana is.. their grandfather on their dad's side has seen them 2 or 3 times (they are 6 and 3 now). 

Bottomline though, you can't force a relationship.. and the fact that they are parents of young kids too, makes it hard to be a parent as well as a grandparent...