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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I have to make a choice

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 23 Replies
I have a 6 yr old dd, her father walked out when she was a baby a and I have been with my so for 3 years. I have come to realise that I honestly don't think I want anymore children, he does, I feel it's such a tough job and I just don't want another, he thinks id have a different idea of it if we had one because I wouldn't be on my own this time but I'm starting to think in all fairness, I shouldn't deny him what he wants and I should let him go so that he can have the chance to have children, I absolutely love this man, I just don't think I can give him what he wants
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:35 AM
Does this need to be decided today? What's the urgency?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:35 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't know, but I have one and don't want anymore for the same reasons. Just make it crystal clear to him you don't want them, then let him choose.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:36 AM
Well, as a mother of two I can tell you I have no regrets. My DD is a great big sister to her brother.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:37 AM
My sister is going through this. She wanted kids, her boyfriend didn't. It's a staple, and if you don't, you should end it. Don't drag him along, sorry!
ivyam
by Member on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:38 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you devoted a lot of thought to this? If it is truly how you feel, tell him and let him decide. I hope it works out for the best, meaning you don't split up and lose someone you love.

Book.Strumpet
by Fountain.Pirate on Jul. 28, 2014 at 1:55 AM

 Does he have any biological children of his own?

I felt as you now do.  I didn't want anymore.  My husband said I should and he thought I'd change my mind and enjoy another child if I just would agree to it, motherly love would take over. I knew having another wouldn't change my mind because of motherly love. If anything I knew I would have probably resent having to doing it all again. ALONE. Yes, I was married but he was a surgeon and never home. I just didn't want to do it again. I only had one child. I love that child dearly. My husband and I ended up divorced. He's remarried to a young sweet woman. He's still a busy surgeon and she's pretty much raising their kids alone, with the help of the nanny. It's me she calls when she needs to vent. It's funny, but I like her a lot. lol And you know what, I still do not regret making that choice long ago.

However, the universe is laughing at me now. I inherited a child after his mum passed.

Do what's best for you. What you know you can live with, and be happy about down the line. The rest will find their way to their own future and happiness. With or without you.

Good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2014 at 2:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much.
This will sound awful but when I hear of friends having more children I don't think aww I kinda think ohh goodluck to you kinda thing, I absolutely love dd but the thought of having another an starting all over again makes me feel tight in the chest

Quoting Book.Strumpet:

 Does he have any biological children of his own?


I felt as you now do.  I didn't want anymore.  My husband said I should and he thought I'd change my mind and enjoy another child if I just would agree to it, motherly love would take over. I knew having another wouldn't change my mind because of motherly love. If anything I knew I would have probably resent having to doing it all again. ALONE. Yes, I was married but he was a surgeon and never home. I just didn't want to do it again. I only had one child. I love that child dearly. My husband and I ended up divorced. He's remarried to a young sweet woman. He's still a busy surgeon and she's pretty much raising their kids alone, with the help of the nanny. It's me she calls when she needs to vent. It's funny, but I like her a lot. lol And you know what, I still do not regret making that choice long ago.


However, the universe is laughing at me now. I inherited a child after his mum passed.


Do what's best for you. What you know you can live with, and be happy about down the line. The rest will find their way to their own future and happiness. With or without you.


Good luck.

Book.Strumpet
by Fountain.Pirate on Jul. 28, 2014 at 2:27 AM

HAHA I'm worse. I want to puke. I immediately ask them where they get their water supply.  Because, I'm totally avoiding that shit. :)

Quoting Anonymous: Thank you so much. This will sound awful but when I hear of friends having more children I don't think aww I kinda think ohh goodluck to you kinda thing, I absolutely love dd but the thought of having another an starting all over again makes me feel tight in the chest
Quoting Book.Strumpet:

 Does he have any biological children of his own?

I felt as you now do.  I didn't want anymore.  My husband said I should and he thought I'd change my mind and enjoy another child if I just would agree to it, motherly love would take over. I knew having another wouldn't change my mind because of motherly love. If anything I knew I would have probably resent having to doing it all again. ALONE. Yes, I was married but he was a surgeon and never home. I just didn't want to do it again. I only had one child. I love that child dearly. My husband and I ended up divorced. He's remarried to a young sweet woman. He's still a busy surgeon and she's pretty much raising their kids alone, with the help of the nanny. It's me she calls when she needs to vent. It's funny, but I like her a lot. lol And you know what, I still do not regret making that choice long ago.

However, the universe is laughing at me now. I inherited a child after his mum passed.

Do what's best for you. What you know you can live with, and be happy about down the line. The rest will find their way to their own future and happiness. With or without you.

Good luck.

 

MichelleJ1000
by Silver Member on Jul. 28, 2014 at 2:29 AM
You need to be completely honest about this with him. It seems like he has a decision to make as well. Don't change your mind to make someone else happy. When it comes down to it, if you are not happy no one else will be either. Good luck mama.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2014 at 6:30 AM
Doesn't need to be decided today but I really don't think I want more children and I'd rather not string him along

Quoting Anonymous: Does this need to be decided today? What's the urgency?
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