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She's taking this really hard

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
My grandad passed away exactly a month ago today. He lived only minutes from us and we saw him all the time.
My kids have never dealt with death before, at all. Not even with a pet, so my older two kids took the news extremely hard.
Well, obviously there's no right or wrong way to deal with death, but my 7 year old daughter seems to be handling it the worst. She breaks down bawling at any reminder of him. I had to take his picture down off of the living room wall temporarily because every time she would see it, she would cry for an hour. She winds up crying anywhere between 1 - 5 times a day because she's thinking about him.

I know this couldn't be normal. I'm considering counseling. I don't know though...has anyone else had a child react to death like this before? I want to handle it right. Do you think she needs counseling or just more time to grieve?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:03 AM

This can be very normal but it may be helpful for her to talk to a neutral party and learn additional coping skills.  Some people can take years to grieve especially when it is the first one for them to really experience.

mmtosam06
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:05 AM
Hugs just be there for her and if you feel she needs counseling go ahead and put her in counseling
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:05 AM
It's only been a month so I can understand her still being upset! My grandfather has been gone almost 20 years and I still get choked up when someone brings him up.
Pixers
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:06 AM
Find a grief counselor for her. That way she has someone away from the family to talk to about it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:07 AM

not sure mama,  that does seem a little extreme though.  maybe talking to someone will help her.   poor little thing :(

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:09 AM
Thank you. I'm glad to know it can be normal. I might try to find someone for her to talk to.

My first two deaths were distant relatives, so it was an entirely different situation from this. I don't really know what a "normal" reaction would be for a child.

Quoting frndlyfn:

This can be very normal but it may be helpful for her to talk to a neutral party and learn additional coping skills.  Some people can take years to grieve especially when it is the first one for them to really experience.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:12 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. I'm trying. I just sit and hold her and let her cry on me anytime she needs to. I think if it goes on much longer I may look for someone for her to talk to.

Quoting mmtosam06: Hugs just be there for her and if you feel she needs counseling go ahead and put her in counseling
bookwormx4
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:15 AM
I was bad when my mom died. It took me until I was 18 to even start coping. Looking back, the best thing anyone could have done was get me into counseling. I had to do it myself when I was old enough.

ETA I was 11 when Mom died.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:18 AM
Oh, don't get me wrong, I am still grieving as well and I still cry from time to time when I think about my other set of grandparents who passed away 9 and 12 years ago. I totally understand that. What's worrying me is that she's still sobbing uncontrollably at any tiny reminder of him whatsoever. We can't even mention his name casually without a complete meltdown by her.

Quoting Anonymous: It's only been a month so I can understand her still being upset! My grandfather has been gone almost 20 years and I still get choked up when someone brings him up.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 3:20 AM
I'm thinking that's what I'm going to do. Thank you.

Quoting Pixers: Find a grief counselor for her. That way she has someone away from the family to talk to about it.
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