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Is This Just Too Old Fashioned?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:18 AM
  • 132 Replies

Before my husband asked me to marry him, he asked my father's permission first. Now, it may have been different if he knew that my parents didn't approve of him or something but my parents love him and he knows that. Personally, I would not have married a man that my parents did notapprove him. My father is a reasonable man. He is not the kind of father that would automatically hate any man that I dated because no man was good enough for his baby girl. He is protective of me (I'm his only daughter) but he loved my husband because he was respectful to them and he treated me right. He has a great relationship with them now, and with my brothers. I really think that, when my husband asked his permission to propose, it made him feel good, like he was giving his little girl to someone who was going to be respectful and treat her right. 

I was talking to a co-worker about this yesterday. She just got engaged and I teasingly asked if her husband asked permission first (not that I expected him too but I was just making a joke) and she looked at me like I was an alien from outer space and told me that that was just too old fashioned for her. My husband and my father are both old fashioned men, I guess. Are we just weird? Both of my brothers asked their fathers-in-law for permission first as well and they both thought it was weird but they appreciated it. 


by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AvantGardener
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:20 AM
6 moms liked this

I think the tradition is nice, but the idea is offensive to me. My father doesn't own me like cattle so that aspect bothers me. I would love if the parents knew before the bride as per conversation, but I don't know about the permission part.

vegepunkstr
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:21 AM

My huisband did not but I don't have the best relationship with my dad. My sister's fiance just did though and my dad thought it was really great.



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DameDeLaMer
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:22 AM
My dh did for the sake of tradition. Had my dad disapproved, it wouldn't have mattered. He also asked my brother. He was the one that counted.
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:24 AM
My husband asked my mom - I didn't have a dad. I thought it was a respectful gesture.
Shadowed_Star
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:25 AM
I see both sides

On one hand I am not my fathers property nor do I have a dowary

On the other its kinda sweet to talk to mom and dad first.
happynewyorker
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:26 AM

These little things are great in my book.

My x husband had asked my parents for my hand. They said yes, because my mother said I was happy.  But, they didn't care for my husband. LOL!! 

furbabymum
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:27 AM
5 moms liked this

 

prdmama1154
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:27 AM

 This.

Quoting Shadowed_Star: I see both sides On one hand I am not my fathers property nor do I have a dowary On the other its kinda sweet to talk to mom and dad first.

 

the.B.karma
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:28 AM

I never really cared for that. There is no romance about it, and I've never had a father. Even so, I am sure his opinion wouldn't matter that greatly to me, I marry who I want to, not who my parents want me to.

ShutUpImTalking
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Not weird. I love that. I think it makes the whole thing that much more special. My husband did ask my father's permission before he proposed and of course my dad approved. My dad and my husband are like best buddies now :-)

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