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How important is passion in a relationship?

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:09 PM
  • 34 Replies
After divorcing my husband I've made it a point to be very picky about who I date. I still haven't been in a relationship after 3 years, and I'm in no hurry to rush it. That being said- I've also made it a point not to date my "type", because my type are assholes. And there's lots of hot sex with those type of guys, but ultimately I know I'd end up being hurt.
So there's a man I've been seeing for a few months. It's inching it's way towards turning into something serious, and that terrifies me... Lol. He's got his life together, great career, owns his home outright, goes out of his way to see me, makes me feel special, he's fun, funny-just an all around good guy. But I don't feel that "jump him in the laundry room and do it on the washer" desire for him. I am attracted to him, and I really like being with him though.
When I imagine the future with him I don't see wild, crazy nights making love under waterfalls, but I can see him wrapping his arms around me at a BBQ while I get potato salad ready, lol.
So how is important is that drive-you-crazy passion? Do you think it's something you need in your relationship?
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:11 PM
I married without the passion and started regretting it almost immediately. It has been a long road of resentment and dissatisfaction.

I long for passion but I'm trapped.
Tiff22Faith
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:13 PM

Passion is important, but I prefer the quiet nights just cuddling and talking. A lot of relationships put passion first and it will eventually fade. If you find a man you are attracted to, including sexually even if it is "jump him in the laundry room" sexually, then give it a try. 

o.O....
by Cara on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:14 PM
That's what I worry about. We're obviously not even close to talking about marriage, but I don't want to find myself wishing for something else down the road.

Quoting Anonymous: I married without the passion and started regretting it almost immediately. It has been a long road of resentment and dissatisfaction.

I long for passion but I'm trapped.
milfanyway
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I think long term compatibility is more important than wild lust. Lust fades, love is enduring.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ripemango
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM

passion fades, substance lasts


I don't know where the sunbeams end and the starlights begin; it's all a mystery.

Retrokitty
by Jasmyne on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM
I've always said there's 3 types of relationships:

All passion and lust
A deep love and trust, with similar values
And both.

1 will never work out, 2 can work out depending on the person, 3 is obviously the best.

I went with a 2, but I'm not the kind of person who gets those number 1 feelings about people. So I think for me that works. I think you have to decide what you need.
ZombieMeat37
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM

I'm quite fond of my husband taking it while in the midst of doing laundry. He's not one to ask, either. If he's in the mood, he's getting what he wants and it doesn't matter what I'm doing at that time. He just picks me up and puts me where he wants me.  THAT'S my type of passion. lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM
Passion does fade in all relationships. So if it was already blah it becomes even more blah.

I wouldn't ever settle again.

Quoting o.O....: That's what I worry about. We're obviously not even close to talking about marriage, but I don't want to find myself wishing for something else down the road.

Quoting Anonymous: I married without the passion and started regretting it almost immediately. It has been a long road of resentment and dissatisfaction.

I long for passion but I'm trapped.
o.O....
by Cara on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:16 PM
With my ex the sex was always on point. Even when I couldn't stand the sight of him. I definitely don't want a repeat of that relationship though.

Quoting milfanyway: I think long term compatibility is more important than wild lust. Lust fades, love is enduring.
SnapIt
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:17 PM

i was in a no passion marriage

now im in a passion relationship

I chose what i have now anyday. It depends how much passion. sometimes passion can dwindle too. If thats all you have, that relationship may not work. You have to have the passion, communication, honesty, love, plus other things for it to work out.

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