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Since y'all were so curious about my opinion (I will teach my child to hit back spinoff)

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:14 PM
  • 54 Replies
1 mom liked this

A lot of people were asking for a response to their take on my opinion. I responded to the first person that asked, and then got asked again several more times.  No, I don't want to take the time to respond to each of you individually. So here is my take:

I *NEVER* said that your child should not be taught to defend themselves, but lots of you wanted to put those words into my mouth--so argumentative.  What I said was that violence is not the answer.  And in most cases, it's not.

How many children are seriously injured from fights at school? A very, very, very small fraction.  How many of those could have been prevented by simply getting an adult, rather than preferring to prove yourself with violence?  Almost all.  There is rarely a case when getting an adult would not have resolved it. Teach your child that hitting does *NOT* resolve anything, because it *DOESN'T*.  Teach them to handle issues in a more responsible and *SAFE* way.

It is not healthy, responsible, or safe to teach your children to just "hit back", no matter the circumstance.  Being hit lightly by a kid on the playground (yes, lightly, I know very few children who possess super strength) is *NOT* a situation where you would *NEED* to hit back to defend yourself.  It is a situation where you could very easily go get an adult.

If you are about to be raped, robbed, murdered, etc., obviously you should fight back.  School yard fights are not comparable in most cases.

Teaching your child to just "hit back" is opening him or her up to a world full of issues.


EDIT:

Fighting is not resolving the issue from the bully or the victim's standpoint.

Yes, bullies bully for a reason. They have issues.  There is something deeper there.  If my child was troubled, I would want to know so that I could correct it.  It is useless to teach your child to hit back.  It is completely nonsensical unless they are in true danger.  Not everything in the world is black & white and not everything is eye for an eye.  Try to look a little deeper than the surface.  FYI, that applies to everything, not just this topic.

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.

Also, a little video games never hurt.

by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mandylin3
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:25 PM
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I wasn't on the post you are talking about but I mostly agree with you.  Sometimes getting an adult only resolves the issue temporarily, until there is no adult around.  I don't teach my kids to hit back except in cases where it's either hit back or get beat up.  Not standing up for yourself, more times than not, will result in being picked on constantly, being called names and being the butt of the jokes simply because the person not fighting back allows it. 

It's really a tough call but we have taught our boy that if he finds himself having to hit back, make it hard enough to make the bully stop.  Violence is rarely the answer but I won't have my kids be punching bags for bullies, either.  My kids have never been in fights, they're too tenderhearted and I love them for that.  But I don't want them to ever feel defenseless should something like that ever come up.

Foolynroo2
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:28 PM
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I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.



teenkabear
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:30 PM


Quoting Foolynroo2:

I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.


Where did I say that getting hit doesn't hurt?  Lots of things hurt.  That doesn't mean we should solve them with violence. lol

There is a difference between a little pain and a severe injury or life-threatening situation.

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.

Also, a little video games never hurt.

Foolynroo2
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:31 PM


Quoting teenkabear:

Quoting Foolynroo2:

I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.


Where did I say that getting hit doesn't hurt?  Lots of things hurt.  That doesn't mean we should solve them with violence. lol

There is a difference between a little pain and a severe injury or life-threatening situation.

So you think that a 6 ft tall 200lb 16 year old boy can't give sever injury to a 5 ft 4 inch 130lb boy?

Good to know.


weeping_angel
by Don't Blink on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:31 PM
I agree. DS is in TKD and that's what they teach
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I find that most moms who have children younger then school age have this stance, that is until their child goes to school and then little Billy won't stop hitting your child no matter what the school does and those moms end up telling their children to hit Billy back.


Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:32 PM
2 moms liked this
This. You seem quite sheltered OP.

I absolutely will teach my children how to defend themselves. They better not hit first, but if they are attacked, I would be totally fine with them teaching that kid a physical lesson.

Quoting Foolynroo2:

I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.

petie1104
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Ds's karate studio ran a bully prevention class for the schools. These were there steps...

1. Tell then to stop
2. Ignore
3. Tell an adult
4. Try to enlist friends help (walking to and from and through halls)
5. If and ONLY of no adult is present and you are in immediate danger, fight back.

So that is basically what I teach mine. Hitting back should be a last resort when all else had failed.
teenkabear
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:36 PM


Quoting Foolynroo2:


Quoting teenkabear:

Quoting Foolynroo2:

I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.


Where did I say that getting hit doesn't hurt?  Lots of things hurt.  That doesn't mean we should solve them with violence. lol

There is a difference between a little pain and a severe injury or life-threatening situation.

So you think that a 6 ft tall 200lb 16 year old boy can't give sever injury to a 5 ft 4 inch 130lb boy?

Good to know.


I said in most cases.  Keep generalizing to support your argument.  Your points are invalid & I'm gonna stop responding to you now. lol

It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.

Also, a little video games never hurt.

Medic32
by Go PREDS! on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:37 PM
2 moms liked this
Because she is right and your argument isn't able to hold its weight.

Quoting teenkabear:

Quoting Foolynroo2:

Quoting teenkabear:

Quoting Foolynroo2:

I don't know what planet you spend your days on - but here in the real world - getting hit hurts

and fighting in school doesn't end after grade 5.

My son knew how to - and when to defend himself.

You lay your hands on him... he's laying them back - 10 fold.

Where did I say that getting hit doesn't hurt?  Lots of things hurt.  That doesn't mean we should solve them with violence. lol

There is a difference between a little pain and a severe injury or life-threatening situation.

So you think that a 6 ft tall 200lb 16 year old boy can't give sever injury to a 5 ft 4 inch 130lb boy?

Good to know.

I said in most cases.  Keep generalizing to support your argument.  Your points are invalid & I'm gonna stop responding to you now. lol

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