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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

starting to resent my my S/Os child...i know it's not fair, how do I stop?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 231 Replies
Long story....

My S/O and I just had our 3 year anniversary in April. He has a 7 year old DD and her mom 100 percent left her life when she was 2. Since then not one phone call, letter, email. Nothing.

The first year was great when we were dating but living apart. He was a great dad, attentive to me, worked 2 jobs the whole shebang.

At the start of our second year we moved in together. Immediately I was thrust 24/7 into "mom" role. I worked while she was at school, he worked from 4pm to midnight so all care after 4pm fell to me. I sometimes felt frustrated because I was no longer free to do whatever whenever. But hey that's part of being "mom" right. We never said who bought what for her, if she needed it. Whoever was out bought it. By this time he was down to one job and we split all bills. Slowly things started shifting more and more to my shoulders though.

Fast forward to dec 2013, job loss. Since jan 2014 he has been fired from 3 seperate jobs. All his daughters financial needs plus daily parenting has fallen on my shoulders. I also am paying ALL the bills. I have compleately used all my savings tryinf to keep us afloat along with using my job income.

I have noticed I have become rather short temered with his daughter. Doing things like playing barbies irritates me to no end. Today we did back to school shopping and it really mad me mad "I" was the one who had to purchase EVERYTHING for her. She isn't *my* daughter but then I tell myself this is what I signed up for.

Dont get me wrong, i have atrempted to talk to him about his not working and I am angry as hell at him, and he just says it will get better and it doesn't. I don't wanna traumatize his daughter by walking out but I am literally at the end of my rope. Because I know someone will mention it, yes he has asked me to marry him. I told him I wanted to wait until we could afford a decent wedding, not a court house affair. At this point i am very glad it didn't happen.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:56 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:57 PM
Bump
LadyBugMom09
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:01 PM
21 moms liked this
I think you're really mad at him and taking it out on her. Why isn't HE taking cate of her if he's not working??
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:01 PM
5 moms liked this

Honestly, I don't really have anything helpful. :/ If you've talked to him and he can't offer a reasonable solution, and the only reason you're staying in the relationship is for the girl, the best I could say is start a list. Every reason you have to stay, and every reason you have to leave. Do a lot of personal reflection on it before you leave, because while it's not your child, you would be the second mother figure to walk out on this girl in her short life.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:02 PM
5 moms liked this
I hope you leave. You knew he had a daughter. What did you think would happen? Granted. He needs to get a job, but you treating her shitty isn't right. Poor girl probably looks to you as her mom. None of it is her fault.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe get him on some pa until he can get afloat.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM
Because he spends all his time on his phone playing games. When i leave the house is clean or at least decent. When i come home it looks like a tornado hit. Soon as i walk in he is off running around with his friends. And yes i am extremely mad at him. I still do things with her, make sure she has what she needs etc but inside its irritating me

Quoting LadyBugMom09: I think you're really mad at him and taking it out on her. Why isn't HE taking cate of her if he's not working??
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM
3 moms liked this

You need to have a sit down with him and talk to him about how you're feeling.  I think you are resenting him for being a mooch, and taking it out on her.

Larae1990
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Bad situation. while it wasn't fair for you to be thrusted into such a situation, it's not baby girls fault. Dont take it out on her, take it out on her dad.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:07 PM
We live together so im sure my income will negate that. Idk

Quoting Anonymous: Maybe get him on some pa until he can get afloat.
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