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Perfect example of how f***ed up the law is! (long) UPDATE*SHE VISITED HIM AND...*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
To start from the beginning, I met dd's father in the summer of 2008, having just graduated high school and turned 18, I was a little bit of a party animal that summer. I was living with my mom that summer and her rules are a lot more relaxed and she was absent from my life as a parent for quite a while, so we just never had that kind of strict relationship like I do with my father.
Anyways, I met dd's dad while partying. He and I became a couple and from the beginning he just totally lied about everything. Right down to his name and ethnicity. He claimed to have the occupation of a drug and alcohol counselor intern (he was 23 when we met) he claimed to have a car, blah blah the lies go on.
Well, two months into the relationship I got pregnant. I wasn't going to get an abortion, I wanted her from the beginning. I quit my partying ways, enrolled in college, and totally prepared for a baby in my life. I was very happy to be pregnant.
Little by little dd's dad's true colors came out. He had a drinking problem- he drank a fifth of vodka straight everyday. He in fact, was not an alcohol counselor intern, but in an actual program himself!! He also had a big criminal history. He got arrested twice by the time I was 6 months. He ended up in a court ordered rehab for the duration of my pregnancy. It was devastating to me, but honestly I didn't care, I had my family, I would be ok.
When dd was a month old, her father came out of the rehab, claiming to be a changed man. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and let him meet her. Well, I was wrong. He would hide vodka bottles under her crib, in her stroller, he would steal from my wallet, he would pick me up in his car when he was obviously drunk and I'd refuse to get in the car. He also had started using drugs- he was injecting. He had contracted hepatitis C from a dirty needle WHILE IN A SOBER LIVING HOME. Enough was enough. May 2009, I left him for good and cut all ties. He was just going down fast, and I had a little girl who I didn't need to expose to his lies and drama.
Well fast forward to today. I have sought child support over the years and never got anything because he has never worked and been in and out of jail. So I've supported her alone, been totally a single mom, I've raised this beautiful girl who is so grown up now, going into kindergarten. And that was all me! I have done well enough on my own, don't need him and she's fine too. Well, He is currently in jail in the same county as me and his daughter right now, and before he went to jail I guess he had somehow filed a petition for a visitation order!! Well, the hearing came on July 10, and he was there, in custody, in his orange jumpsuit! What a loser. Worst part.. Some clown judge awarded him 2 hrs visitation twice a month, WHILE IN CUSTODY.
My little five year old girl is going to be visiting her father in jail!! So insane. She has no idea who the hell he is. She will be terrified.
My lawyer (public defender) wasn't helpful for shit. She didn't really even argue with it.
And I'm suppose to go out of my way to drive her over there?? When I've never received a PENNY from him!? That judge is disgusting for allowing this. Screw absent father's so called "rights ".

UPDATE: 8/21 After a long month and a half of battling with the courts, I didn't get anywhere, and was told by the judge that he "must get a visit by the end of the week." I refused to take the day off work and in an effort to make it as unpleasant for my daughter as possible (so she would show signs of distress and ask to not visit him) I refused to drive her. I said that if he wants to see her and the judge is allowing this, they can send a van with a court appointed social worker to pick up my daughter. I know this would make it uncomfortable for my baby girl, but honestly I need her to show the court that she's uncomfortable and if she was with me, she'd see it as a little trip with mommy and be in better spirits.
Anyways, today was the day. The social worker came to pick up my girl and she got in the car reluctantly. We both explained to her that if at any point she wants to come home, just say it. Any time she wants to leave the visit. So she was aware and agreed with me she'd let the worker know. Actually, my little girl was excited today and the night before to meet her daddy for the first time. She woke up talking about it. I told her what to expect (jail) but in her mind, she just had this little fantasy of meeting daddy for the first time and she was smiling when I sent her.
I got a call a few minutes ago from the worker. I expected the worker to tell me that my daughter wanted to come home. Instead, the worker said that the jail refused to let my daughter see her dad! Apparently, the court failed to check the visiting status of her father! He is not allowed visits! He must be in a higher security level or something! Idk! But how fucking awful. My daughter was ready to meet her dad and she got refused at the door. I'm waiting on her to arrive home. I'm going to take her out for ice cream.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gsmom9
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:03 PM

OMG. Thats insane

mischele
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:05 PM
It's screwed up how the system works. I never received support from either of my kids dads but if they wanted visitation my lawyer said I couldn't deny them even if they don't support them. I'm so sorry for u and ur daughter
JTROX
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:06 PM

What did you have a public defender for?

PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:10 PM

Leave the state?  

mom2makayla809
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:10 PM
That is crazy!!!! I grew up with a father in prison (drugs) and while I had a relationship with him and loved him dearly, visiting him in prison was down right terrifying! I would never let my child visit anyone in a prison, although I know you don't have a choice! So sorry, Mama!
HIJKLM
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:10 PM
Wow. I'd talk to a paid attorney and see if there is any way to overturn that. GL
anon71
by Momma Squirrel on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:11 PM
It is screwed up as all hell, and I hope you can appeal the decision, but it also goes to show the importance of knowing the person you choose to procreate with.
Shadowed_Star
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:11 PM
3 moms liked this
Its because of those funkin "Fathers Rights" lawyers.

Oh a child NEEDS their father bla bla bullshint. If you are not taking care of that chid YOU ARE NOT A FATHER.

Get a better lawyer and go back to court. Request a different judge and explain the MAJOR issue this is and how wrong it is.

Good luck!
daniellegirly26
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:12 PM
That is fucked up. He has No bond with her. Your lawyer should have used that.
I'm with ya on this.
I wish I could offer you advice.
Good luck
sophiasmommy27
by Sarah Sweetheart on Jul. 30, 2014 at 9:14 PM
OMFG.
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