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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you say this to your kids?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 350 Replies
1 mom liked this
I was reading an past issue of Parents magazine. I think it was April of this year. One article was listing the top ten worst things you can say to your kids. One of the things on the list that I actually have said to my 10 yr old is "We can't afford that".

The article said that by saying that you can't afford something means you're financially insecure and that can be scary to kids. (Not a direct quote but that's basically what it meant) I never really thought of it that way. I've told my oldest plenty of times that we can't afford something and need to save up for it. I don't think it's affected her. So have you said that to your kids?

Found the article.

http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/10-things-you-should-never-say-to-your-kids/

6. "We can't afford that."

It's easy to use this default response when your child begs you for the latest toy. But doing so sends the message that you're not in control of your finances, which can be scary for kids, says Jayne Pearl, the author of Kids and Money. Grade-schoolers may also call you on this claim if you turn around and make an expensive household purchase. Choose an alternative way to convey the same idea, such as, "We're not going to buy that because we're saving our money for more important things." If she insists on discussing it further, you have a perfect window to start a conversation about how to budget and manage money.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
weeping_angel
by Don't Blink on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes I've said that
smalltownteddy
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:16 PM
10 moms liked this
I've never said that outright. I've told my almost four year old that we don't buy things just because we want them "right now", sometimes we have to wait for things we want.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:16 PM
9 moms liked this
I feels that it tells kids that u cant have everything u see. I tell my kids that I cant afford that but if they really want it I can find extra chores for them to earn it.
T-Rentsmommy06
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I have, but I also let them know of how lucky they are we have enough money for throwing b day parties, going out to eat occasionally, buying presents, etc. That way they see a little of both worlds.
jujubear1
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:17 PM
13 moms liked this
I say that all the time. Dd knows the bills get paid and then we have extracurriculars and fun stuff, but its ok for them to know I can't afford to just go out and buy her her every desire.
Hoppers33
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:17 PM
4 moms liked this
I've said it a lot. We aren't financially insecure and my children never go without anything they need, but when they're bugging me for some ridiculous "as seen on tv" item, my exact words are "we can't afford to waste money on crap that doesn't work."
jellybeanjean
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:17 PM
3 moms liked this
I haven't had to say that yet because my children are still very small. I'm sure I will though. I really don't think that giving my children an accurate display of our financial status will harm them. They need to know what we can afford. It's not a big deal.... I will explain that we can save for very expensive things.
notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:18 PM
3 moms liked this
Yes and I see nothing wrong with it
thenameshailie
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes I've said that. It isn't scary to my kids because they know they have all of the things they actually need.
alexsmomaubrys2
by Emerald Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 12:18 PM
51 moms liked this

I disagree. I say that to my children because it's true and they have to learn that money isn't endless.

They know that we are financially secure because they've never gone without their needs but sometimes they don't get their wants. NBD.

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