Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

do I lack parenting strategies or are most 3 y olds like this?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I can't do ANYTHING while my son is awake.NOTHING.I am almost not even able to go to the bathroom , cook or even make a phone call. By the time he is alseep, I am exhausted and cleaning, ironing,etc rarely get done.

He has been sick for 2 days and therefore, I allowed him to use the ipad.He knows we ONLY use it when we have to wait a long time at the dr or when he has a fever.Well yesterday he was down and he was on the couch next to me with a few apps on my ipad. I set the timer and I told him that when those 15 minutes ended, we were going to do arts and crafts. I wanted to finish a movie i had started watching 3 nights before so I turned the tv on. he threw a tantrum as he wanted the TV.yes, not just the ipad but also the tv. this is just an example of what he does all the time. When i take 15 minutes for him to play with something so that I can cook, make a phone or just have 15 m for me, he wants to do what I am doing. Lately I can't even shower as he wants a shower with mommy. The terrible twos were NOTHING. he turned 3 two weeks ao and he is moe demanding than ever...

I let him help in the kitchen, vaccuum, help with dishes and laundry....but he ends up making more mess than what I woud do withiut his help.

i am exhausted

do I really lack strategies or are some 3 y olds like that?

some of the moms in our playgroup told me their kids are pretty much the same and at 6 pm when hubby comes, they get all done and give the kid to daddy but I can't do that.it is just me

helpppppppppppppppppppppppp

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:07 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:48 PM
Not quite. I am 5'10 and weigh 145. I am not a big makeup wearer, so no. I do have my hair done every morning though. I hate not having decent hair.



Relax. I was just saying that I have not had the problems you are having as of yet. So far, our routine is working for us. I never implied I was a perfect mom, because no one is. Here is a piece of advice for you, if you don't want to engage others in discussions about parenting, don't start one! I was in no way rude to you, or anything even close to it. Maybe your problem is your attitude.

Quoting Anonymous: Wow. Do you want a cookie? An award for the perfect mom? Please also tell me that you work out every day and wear a size 0 and you are talk and still in heels and make up every day

Quoting Anonymous: I am not there yet. My son is two and I don't have any of those issues. He has been helping with housework since he was about a year old, he was walking at 8 months. And he is VERY good at entertaining himself. He has always been very independent. He would rather play by himself than be bothering me most of the time lol. He loads and unloads the dishwasher, minus the knives. He dusts the stuff low enough for him to reach, as well as cleans the tables. He picks up his toys and puts his dirty clothes in his hamper (these are his only two "chores", the rest he just likes to do.) And he vacuums :-)

Let's hope it states this way. He is two and a half now, and getting better so I am hoping that we have a good routine down and it stays this way :-)
Bieg9093
by Silver Member on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Not sure where to begin here...

The main problem you have here is that you are letting him control you.  When 3 year olds are crying or making a fuss because they want something...that's NOT a problem.  That's how many of them learn what's good for them and what's not & what's reasonable and what's not.  If you give in to unreasonable demands, then they don't learn these things.  Even if you give attention to these demands by entertaining the argument or explaining again and again...they get the wrong idea.

When the answer is no, then you have to communicate that.  No arguments, no amount of crying, and no rotten behaviors are going to change a no into a yes.  Furthermore...bad behavior should not be rewarded with attention.  It should be met with consequences that cause the child to recognize that such behavior ends with undesireable results.

If you keep letting him use crying and bad behavior as a weapon, it won't get better.  He can, however, learn to use his power for good instead.  When you see him playing calmly and quietly, give extra attention.  When he uses polite manners, give extra attention.  When he accepts your no without argument, give extra attention.

And when he makes unreasonable demands, tell him "absolutely not!" and if he keeps at you, put him in time out so he can learn.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:51 PM
Do I care ? No. Do I consider your advice ? No . Why? Because I love my attitude

Quoting Anonymous: Not quite. I am 5'10 and weigh 145. I am not a big makeup wearer, so no. I do have my hair done every morning though. I hate not having decent hair.



Relax. I was just saying that I have not had the problems you are having as of yet. So far, our routine is working for us. I never implied I was a perfect mom, because no one is. Here is a piece of advice for you, if you don't want to engage others in discussions about parenting, don't start one! I was in no way rude to you, or anything even close to it. Maybe your problem is your attitude.

Quoting Anonymous: Wow. Do you want a cookie? An award for the perfect mom? Please also tell me that you work out every day and wear a size 0 and you are talk and still in heels and make up every day

Quoting Anonymous: I am not there yet. My son is two and I don't have any of those issues. He has been helping with housework since he was about a year old, he was walking at 8 months. And he is VERY good at entertaining himself. He has always been very independent. He would rather play by himself than be bothering me most of the time lol. He loads and unloads the dishwasher, minus the knives. He dusts the stuff low enough for him to reach, as well as cleans the tables. He picks up his toys and puts his dirty clothes in his hamper (these are his only two "chores", the rest he just likes to do.) And he vacuums :-)

Let's hope it states this way. He is two and a half now, and getting better so I am hoping that we have a good routine down and it stays this way :-)
Beatlemama
by Bronze Member on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:51 PM

Yes, that sounds like a three year old boy.  I have one right now and he drives me batty some days.  My oldest was the same way when he was three, too.  It passed with him and I am clinging to the hope that it will pass with my youngest too. 

Good luck, momma!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:52 PM
Your weight is definitely a lot for your height . Maybe I should send you my treadmill

Quoting Anonymous: Not quite. I am 5'10 and weigh 145. I am not a big makeup wearer, so no. I do have my hair done every morning though. I hate not having decent hair.



Relax. I was just saying that I have not had the problems you are having as of yet. So far, our routine is working for us. I never implied I was a perfect mom, because no one is. Here is a piece of advice for you, if you don't want to engage others in discussions about parenting, don't start one! I was in no way rude to you, or anything even close to it. Maybe your problem is your attitude.

Quoting Anonymous: Wow. Do you want a cookie? An award for the perfect mom? Please also tell me that you work out every day and wear a size 0 and you are talk and still in heels and make up every day

Quoting Anonymous: I am not there yet. My son is two and I don't have any of those issues. He has been helping with housework since he was about a year old, he was walking at 8 months. And he is VERY good at entertaining himself. He has always been very independent. He would rather play by himself than be bothering me most of the time lol. He loads and unloads the dishwasher, minus the knives. He dusts the stuff low enough for him to reach, as well as cleans the tables. He picks up his toys and puts his dirty clothes in his hamper (these are his only two "chores", the rest he just likes to do.) And he vacuums :-)

Let's hope it states this way. He is two and a half now, and getting better so I am hoping that we have a good routine down and it stays this way :-)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:53 PM
He does not cry and he does not show bad behavior . He's just super clingy

Quoting Bieg9093:

Not sure where to begin here...


The main problem you have here is that you are letting him control you.  When 3 year olds are crying or making a fuss because they want something...that's NOT a problem.  That's how many of them learn what's good for them and what's not & what's reasonable and what's not.  If you give in to unreasonable demands, then they don't learn these things.  Even if you give attention to these demands by entertaining the argument or explaining again and again...they get the wrong idea.


When the answer is no, then you have to communicate that.  No arguments, no amount of crying, and no rotten behaviors are going to change a no into a yes.  Furthermore...bad behavior should not be rewarded with attention.  It should be met with consequences that cause the child to recognize that such behavior ends with undesireable results.


If you keep letting him use crying and bad behavior as a weapon, it won't get better.  He can, however, learn to use his power for good instead.  When you see him playing calmly and quietly, give extra attention.  When he uses polite manners, give extra attention.  When he accepts your no without argument, give extra attention.


And when he makes unreasonable demands, tell him "absolutely not!" and if he keeps at you, put him in time out so he can learn.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 2, 2014 at 4:58 PM
LOL honey, I am all good. You are your nasty attitude have a great day. It is people like you that make this site less enjoyable every day. I was in no way rude or disrespectful to you, and you came back with an attitude. That is your problem. You have a rotten attitude, and that makes life difficult for everyone around you. So again, have a great day.

Quoting Anonymous: Your weight is definitely a lot for your height . Maybe I should send you my treadmill

Quoting Anonymous: Not quite. I am 5'10 and weigh 145. I am not a big makeup wearer, so no. I do have my hair done every morning though. I hate not having decent hair.



Relax. I was just saying that I have not had the problems you are having as of yet. So far, our routine is working for us. I never implied I was a perfect mom, because no one is. Here is a piece of advice for you, if you don't want to engage others in discussions about parenting, don't start one! I was in no way rude to you, or anything even close to it. Maybe your problem is your attitude.

Quoting Anonymous: Wow. Do you want a cookie? An award for the perfect mom? Please also tell me that you work out every day and wear a size 0 and you are talk and still in heels and make up every day

Quoting Anonymous: I am not there yet. My son is two and I don't have any of those issues. He has been helping with housework since he was about a year old, he was walking at 8 months. And he is VERY good at entertaining himself. He has always been very independent. He would rather play by himself than be bothering me most of the time lol. He loads and unloads the dishwasher, minus the knives. He dusts the stuff low enough for him to reach, as well as cleans the tables. He picks up his toys and puts his dirty clothes in his hamper (these are his only two "chores", the rest he just likes to do.) And he vacuums :-)

Let's hope it states this way. He is two and a half now, and getting better so I am hoping that we have a good routine down and it stays this way :-)
momtolittleg
by Platinum Member on Aug. 2, 2014 at 5:01 PM
Wait until FOUR! Omg.
Bieg9093
by Silver Member on Aug. 2, 2014 at 5:02 PM

 Okay.  So what is the behavior that causes you to say you are unable to make a phone call or cook or take a shower?  Whatever the behavior is, it's undesireable.  So stop allowing his behavior to change your behavior and I guarantee his behavior will change.

Quoting Anonymous: He does not cry and he does not show bad behavior . He's just super clingy
Quoting Bieg9093:

Not sure where to begin here...

The main problem you have here is that you are letting him control you.  When 3 year olds are crying or making a fuss because they want something...that's NOT a problem.  That's how many of them learn what's good for them and what's not & what's reasonable and what's not.  If you give in to unreasonable demands, then they don't learn these things.  Even if you give attention to these demands by entertaining the argument or explaining again and again...they get the wrong idea.

When the answer is no, then you have to communicate that.  No arguments, no amount of crying, and no rotten behaviors are going to change a no into a yes.  Furthermore...bad behavior should not be rewarded with attention.  It should be met with consequences that cause the child to recognize that such behavior ends with undesireable results.

If you keep letting him use crying and bad behavior as a weapon, it won't get better.  He can, however, learn to use his power for good instead.  When you see him playing calmly and quietly, give extra attention.  When he uses polite manners, give extra attention.  When he accepts your no without argument, give extra attention.

And when he makes unreasonable demands, tell him "absolutely not!" and if he keeps at you, put him in time out so he can learn.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 2, 2014 at 5:06 PM
You too. Have a great evening and a wonderful experience with other moms on cm

Quoting Anonymous: LOL honey, I am all good. You are your nasty attitude have a great day. It is people like you that make this site less enjoyable every day. I was in no way rude or disrespectful to you, and you came back with an attitude. That is your problem. You have a rotten attitude, and that makes life difficult for everyone around you. So again, have a great day.

Quoting Anonymous: Your weight is definitely a lot for your height . Maybe I should send you my treadmill

Quoting Anonymous: Not quite. I am 5'10 and weigh 145. I am not a big makeup wearer, so no. I do have my hair done every morning though. I hate not having decent hair.



Relax. I was just saying that I have not had the problems you are having as of yet. So far, our routine is working for us. I never implied I was a perfect mom, because no one is. Here is a piece of advice for you, if you don't want to engage others in discussions about parenting, don't start one! I was in no way rude to you, or anything even close to it. Maybe your problem is your attitude.

Quoting Anonymous: Wow. Do you want a cookie? An award for the perfect mom? Please also tell me that you work out every day and wear a size 0 and you are talk and still in heels and make up every day

Quoting Anonymous: I am not there yet. My son is two and I don't have any of those issues. He has been helping with housework since he was about a year old, he was walking at 8 months. And he is VERY good at entertaining himself. He has always been very independent. He would rather play by himself than be bothering me most of the time lol. He loads and unloads the dishwasher, minus the knives. He dusts the stuff low enough for him to reach, as well as cleans the tables. He picks up his toys and puts his dirty clothes in his hamper (these are his only two "chores", the rest he just likes to do.) And he vacuums :-)

Let's hope it states this way. He is two and a half now, and getting better so I am hoping that we have a good routine down and it stays this way :-)
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)