Just had to get it out. I feel like screaming. So I wrote a quick note to wherever he ended up.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!
I lost our kids!
I I spent f*cken YEARS in a mental hospital.
I am the size of a house
I haven't had sex in three years
I didn't just lose you
I LOST EVERYTHING!
To clarify.. I lost my mind and since I was spending so much time the hospital they were taken from me.
I was spending so much time in the hospital because I lost the plot and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder..
I am the size of a house because I always tried to lost weight to keep him happy (he called me fat when I was 52kg) and I felt like shit and felt I had no reason to keep trying. I also started comfort eating and because I was usually in the locked part of the hospital I didn't get much exercise.
Its probably not his fault about the sex thing, but well I am on a roll.
Feeling better getting it out there.