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"Control" your children....Why is it ok to say this?

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:10 AM
  • 119 Replies
3 moms liked this

I hear a lot of people say to other parents you need to control your child, or that their child is a brat. I'm sorry when did it become ok to control another person or call them names. Maybe that's why the children now think bullying is ok, they see their parents doing it. Think about it, if you were having a bad day, as every person does, its called being a human, and you were arguing with your DH, and someone walked up and said to your husband, "you need to control your wife, or she is being a bitch." You would be pissed! So why is it acceptable for people to just walk up to mothers and order them to control their kids? I'm sorry but last I checked this wasn't Stepford, and I don't have a chip installed in my children. They are going to get mad, and have bad days. We all do, we have all been kids once as well. Anyone who says they have never had a bad day, or that their kids have never acted like that is either lying through their teeth, or have done something else, because no one on this earth is perfectly together and happy all the time. And just because a child is having a bad day, and acting like a child doesn't mean they act that way all the time. 


I guess my main issue was just with the word control. Obviously I believe you should discipline your children, but I think in my rant I didn't really make my point which was we all need to be less judgmental, no one knows what that parent is going through, and if the parent is obviously trying his or her hardest with the child someone coming up to you and telling you to "control" the child, when you are obviously trying to doesn't help. I try my best not to judge, because I have been their. You don't know what the parent has tried, how many books or classes they have taken. How many different ways they have tried in and outside the box. 


Update: Just want to thank everyone for their responses, even to the ones who disagreed with me. A few things though, no I am not one of those parents who think their kids can do no wrong, and let them get by with things. I do discipline them, and I do stick to it. As far as teachers go, they already know my 7 year old, he is on the autism spectrum and he has an associate, and the school and I are constantly working together, and when he has a meltdown in school, even THEY can't calm him down. As far as the word "control" I guess my issue with it stems from being abused as well as witnessing abuse as a child. I grew up were control meant you made threats to get your own way, but obviously that is my issue to deal with. Also, as far as someone coming up to me and saying it in a store, I'm speaking from a standpoint of if I'm trying to calm my kid down and get him out of the store, I'm doing my best, and how does it help the situation for someone to come up and interrupt what I'm trying to do to state the obvious? 

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:12 AM
7 moms liked this
You can't exercise control and become an authority figure without bullying and calling names?
BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:12 AM
LOL
incogNinja
by Whofflรฉ on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:13 AM
11 moms liked this
Personally I just buy those zapping collars.
BrutalTruth
by urbullyisshowing on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:13 AM
3 moms liked this
Now now, don't be a bully lol

Quoting momto2boys973: You can't exercise control and become an authority figure without bullying and calling names?
Tooth_Inspector
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm more thankful every day for where I live, no one has ever mentioned my children's behavior ...to my face anyways. I've been complimented for good behavior but people shut their traps about the bad stuff.

I wouldn't say anything to anyone else about their parenting but I would secretly be judging if they weren't handling their children's behavior. Yeah, we all have bad days but that isn't an excuse to be a jerk to anyone else. I don't follow your bullying comment but children need to be taught proper behavior and what is okay and not okay to do.
kailu1835
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:15 AM
10 moms liked this
I control my children, to a certain extent.

By the way, comparing raising children to spousal relationships is beyond asinine. There is no comparison. It is our duty to raise our children, Not our spouses.
momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:15 AM
11 moms liked this
BTW, my husband doesn't control me because he's not responsible for my behavior. I am. Just as he is responsible for his. But I'm responsible for my kids' behavior because until they have the understanding and maturity to do it themselves, it's my job. So yes, I teach them to control themselves by controlling them.
momto2boys973
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:16 AM
LMAO!

Quoting incogNinja: Personally I just buy those zapping collars.
corticosteroid
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:17 AM
17 moms liked this

If your children are so ill mannered that people feel the need to approach you about their behavior, there is more going on there than a bad day.


bdward2007
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 12:17 AM
5 moms liked this
If I were running around public places,throwing tantrums and screaming,it would be perfectly acceptable for someone to tell dh to control me.
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