I am not a single mom, I live with my 6 y/o dd's father, but I have for the last 3 mons been applying to diff places bc he has verbally abused me in the past and is not a great provider.
anyways I was in a low pt in my life and he wasnt helping, I posted a profile on this dating site, and I met a guy off there. I had sex w him by 2nd date, and it was very good sex. I ended up getting attached---he kind of strung me along. finally i told him the truth about my relationhip status bc he wasn't that into me anyway, and he sill had sex w/me.
Now I know this story might sound familair to you. he was the one who spent 11 yrs in prison for meth selling, at age 19-30. The one who got his gf pregnant w/their son when they were 15, and their son was 4 yrs old when they lost custody while he was in jail and was then put up for adoption.
He cut me off in feb bc he met someone he "really clicked with" and "what little time he had, he wanted to spend it w/her".
Anyways i rejoined the site out of boredom and loneliness, and he contacted me on there, saying how he couldn't "stop fantasizing about me, and missed me, and sex with me was very very good" and asking for my number. He asked me if he could see me again, that weekend, and i told him i was busy as it was Easter weekend. I agree to see him again following sat. I know it was just sex, and I didn't care. it was good sex, and mad me feel good. We had really good sex that mirning. His gf lived with him but was at work. I felt bad but not that bad as I should have. He got weird through texts, saying how he wanted to have a baby w/me, and she ahd ehr tubes tied etc, and how he kenw he could get me pregnant. He was asking me about other sexual encoutners I had, and started even asking if he could see another guy have sex w/me.
He texts me 2 wks later, I had decided no more, saying how he missed me and really wanted to see me. He said how his gf who was living w him and had moved in w at the time, left him bc she thought he was cheating. i felt bad. he assured me it wasn't my fault. well now I can see why.
anyays he was begging to see me, and i flaked on him 3 days in a row. I agreed to fri. night. He started texting me the day before saying how a friend would stay and if that was okay. i kenw he had a fantasy of me having sex w another guy in front of him, and I emphasized I would not have sex w/his friend. I came there, and he said I was acting stand-offish. He was saying how much he missed me etc. I got very drunk w/him and his friend (dumb I know) and while he's having sex w/me, he shows me his text from his friend who's only 20 saying from the couch "let me hit it". He says he's going to make me another drink, and in walks his friend. I am evry drunk at this point, and he lies on the bed and pulls me on top of him. next thing I know hes putting a condom on and I'm having sex w/him. He walks ina nd pretends he doesnt know. I cofnrotned him when hsi friend left, saying "why'd yous et me up, you kenw I was drunk". He said "how dare I put that on him" and that I was the "one with my legs spread open". I got sick and threw up, and then fell asleep. He held me whole night, telling me he loved my body, like "my bony little hips" which i thought was odd,and in the middle of the night, w/out even asking, had sex w/me, and ejaculated inside of me. I admit the sex still felt good, though i was mad at him and myself, and hungover.
I went home feeling ashamed and dirty at 30 and a mother doing that. I knew I had put myself in harm's way. idk why I thought he wouldn't throw me under the bus for his buddy to bang. My daughter was with her dad all night. I said I was staying at a female friends' hosue for night out with cocktails.
anyways I was mad at him for awhile, and when i confronted him next night, still bothered by it, he said "woah i didnt do anything to you, I just went to make you a drink and you were riding him next thing I knew". which wasnt how i rmemebered it. He showed me a text, and I was saying no about the text of "hitting it".. Though i was pretty drunk, i remember that.
I didnt text him for awhile,a nd he me. He again popped up saying how he missed me, and "needed" to see me. He said he was sorry I felt violated, and he didnt realize how against it I was. He started aksing to see me. Again he got weird, saying how he had a friend w a 10-in d*ck and that he wanted to see me take it in. I said no and ignored his texts that day. He tried again, saying he was sorry and msised me. i said I wanted to see him alone, or not see him at all. I was still pathetically attached.
I went to see him, after almost flaking out for nuemrous reasons: I live across a bridge from him, and ahd worked a full 8 hr day and was tired, had left my daughter at home w/her dad. Her dad had had a severe allergic reaciton that morning and I felt guilty. I had a rash on my left breasts that planned aprenthood gave ointment but said it could be inflammatory breast cancer (it wasn't). I almsot cancelled, and he begegd to see me. being dumb and "lust struck" as I was, I went. On the way there, i kept thinking, ;'why am i doing this? why am i sacrificing everything for him? " and how this would be the last time.
That night, we went for a nice walk. We admired cats and plants together. I began to forget about everyone else again as I always did when w/him. He alwasy made me feel so...adored. He was putting his arm around me and saying "youre so cute" etc. Any gy that walked by he would protectively cuddle me. When we got to his place, he offered me a hard cider. we began to ksis etc and he carried me to his bed like he often did. he kissed me in the palces he like my hair neck my stomach etc, and attempted to give me oral. he gave me missionary or tried to, and was saying he missed me. I was feeling revolted for some reason and anted him fof me. i kept thinking of his freind. He asked if I could turn around, and I asked for the beer he promsied first. I said "not that i need it to have sex w you but it sure makes it evn better". Not a good joke but I was tired. He got me a beer and codlly asked me to put my clothes on, saying how i could drink ym beer and elave. I started to try to hug him anked he had already put his clothes on. he told me to not make it worse, and i kept trying to win his affection back. he even pished me in ym chest and imemdiately apologized.
he handed me my clothes and demanded i put them on, lighting up a cigarette. I did, and asked him why he was so uspet. he said if I didnt understand there was no point in explaining it. He coldly tells me it's time to go, calling me by my first name instead of the cutesy names he usually does
He walks me out to my car, and gives me a small hug. he said maybe we could talk about it later and try another night. i was very hurt. the neighbor and her young daughter were watching and jeering at us from the window of his complex.
he texts me on my way home and when i read it it said, "I'm glad I didnt get you pregnant. I just can't see it working between us. You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but tongiht was just the last straw. I'm sorry okay."
anyways after that a week later i looked him up on facebook. he's with another woman, they are smiling etc. he's at this amusement park by my house w her 2 kids, her son about 10 and her dd about 8! shes tanner and taller and more "used up" looking than me. i click on her name, and go through more pics of them together. it says "in a relationship with him since feb". he likes some of her photos going back to jan! he had been w/her while having the other gf live w/him, AND while seeing me, AND other numerous women he'd told me about
I go through one post, and its how he broke up w her through a text msg, around the time he was asking to see me again after a long break since feb He got her flowers for her bday, the week after he had me over that night where he practically allowed his friend to rape me! shes 33 so 2 yrs older than me. She's a massage therapist and her ex is a crackhead.
she lives 15 min further than me on the same side of the bridge, and he can come see her AND take her out!
I casually asked him through text if he has my sweater still and he says yes. that i could come get it. I ask when and we use this to sort of text each other now and then and break ice. I fnally decided I didnt want the sweater, and he said "you dont wanna see me huh? lol" and asked why i changed my mind. I texted back 'shes hideous". and he texted "wtf are you talking about?" ad I said "your gf. i looked you up onf acebook. cmon you can do better than that'. He texted back 'haha shes my fiance, and i think shes sexy as fuck, and the sex is amazing too". I texted "you dont mind her having 2 kids?" and he etxted "no and they love me too, and were going to have our own baby together", I texted "what an ugly baby." He texted "haha ur funny". I said was glad I didnt get pregnant by him either. He texted back he was going to block me bc I was "very usntable". I said I didnt want him to block, me and sorry for being spiteful, and congrats. He said "thanks I know that was hard for you to say." He then texted back that "we can do this for a few more months at least" and I said I didnt "want to be someone's side piece, i want love" he told me, "give it time honey, it will come to you". we ended it at that, and i was supposed to come on a tues to get my sweater but never did, and he never asked.
Since then, I have out of curiosity looked him up. He proposed to her a week after our texting conversation, IN A BOWLING ALLEY with friends. it was a simple but nice band. His profile pic is her smiling w a band. She's nice looking, fit, make up, but not pretty, not to me. And she looks older than her age.
The proposal is on video. There have been pics since then, them in Lake Tahoe, her planning/booking the wedding. i finally had to block them so i'd stop being a voyeur and stop looking them up.
But my question is, should I tell her? she constantly posts how happy she is, how she found her soulmate after years of pain with her ex, how finally things are going well.
also, is it possible he's a child molester? I wouldve never had him around my dd until i was actually w him and knew him well for more than 2 yrs, he was sex and i was attached but i was with my dds dad and even ifI werent i dont want strange mena round dd. he seems to go after women w/children. me, his live-in gf who had 2 little boys 2 and 4, now her. her daughter is 8 about and very pretty. If i were her id' be paranoid. he was very graphic and explicit w/me, and always spoke derogatorily about my woman parts, and i thought at time he was just being erotic.
also not to put myself down, but I am very small, 5'3 and 97 lbs, and have the body of a 14 y/o girl, he always talked about how he liked how 'little' I was...is it possible he could be after her dd?
should I say something to her, msg her on facebook? or forget this ever happened and move on w/my life, as hurt/angry as I am?