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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Taking birth control behind your dh's back

Posted by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:23 AM
  • 75 Replies
1 mom liked this
My next depo shot is due no later than Thursday. I have been on it for nearly 2 years, since my dd was born. I was on it for 5 years before ttc her which only took me 6 months. For the last couple of months I have told dh that I wouldn't be getting another shot this time around because I want to get my period back in order and start ttc our second child sometime in the next year or so. I really want a 2016 baby which would put about a 3 year gap between our first and our second. Dh said I was being too controlling planning it like that and wants me to just go ahead and get pregnant sooner than later but I know I am not ready and neither is our relationship. Like every married couple we have our good days and bad days, but overall we are very happily married. He is a great husband and father but I just feel now isnt the right time to try for another. We haven't even bought our first house yet. We are still renting and trying to save. And we are doing so great with just our darling princess, sometimes I think maybe there's not any room in my heart for more than just her. She's my everything, how could I go from her being my one and only to having two? What if she doesn't like having a sibling? Dh doesn't understand at all, he is from a big family and wants another child. I do too but just not until 2016. Which according to my math means I've got another 8 months before I should start of trying to conceive, so why not just get one more depo? That's 3 less months of worrying and using condoms. I don't care what he says, it's my body and he doesn't have to endure puking 30 times a day for 10 months like I did. I think I'm being sensible but he seems to think its too controlling and I should just let it happen naturally without all the planning.



Update: Went this morning and got the shot. Told dh when I was on the way to the dr and he just said "okay." I'm sure he's a little disappointed but he didn't say anything else about it. I'm happy, 3 more stress free, puke free months for me
by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this
It really sounds like not breeding with him is the best thing for your family
codfish
by Gold Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:27 AM
2 moms liked this
When I was pregnant with our 2nd I didn't think I would be able to love her as much as our 1st. Or that he would like a sibling. I was wrong on both fronts. Every mom I know has had the same thoughts.

If you aren't 100% do not intentionally get pregnant yet. If your marriage is not strong enough for you and dh to have am honest discussion about it, you definitely don't need to add a child to the mix.
April620
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:28 AM
Lol he's my husband, I already bred with him. Besides I want all my children to have the same father.

Quoting Anonymous: It really sounds like not breeding with him is the best thing for your family
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:30 AM
Ok, not breeding again. He nor you seem to be ready to have another. Good call on the bc

Quoting April620: Lol he's my husband, I already bred with him. Besides I want all my children to have the same father.

Quoting Anonymous: It really sounds like not breeding with him is the best thing for your family
April620
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:35 AM
It definitely makes sense mathematically. In order for the baby to be born in 2016 I have to conceive after the end of march which is still like 8 months away. That's a lot of condoms and unnecessary worrying, getting another shot will reduce the worrying time by at least another 3 months.

Quoting Anonymous: Ok, not breeding again. He nor you seem to be ready to have another. Good call on the bc

Quoting April620: Lol he's my husband, I already bred with him. Besides I want all my children to have the same father.

Quoting Anonymous: It really sounds like not breeding with him is the best thing for your family
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:38 AM
7 moms liked this

Going to go out on a limb here, but the fact that you feel you can't tell your husband exactly what you expressed here sends warning bells off. The best way to improve your relationship is to communicate your feelings. I understand what your husband said about being too controlling, and he said what he felt. Now put those big girl panties on and tell him how you feel.

I remember feeling like I would never be able to love my second child as much as my first, boy was I wrong!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:39 AM
1 mom liked this
It took me about two years after ONE depo shot to conceive. I'm just warning you. It was the worst thing ever. I hated the shot. Maybe get on the pill?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:39 AM

popcorn

April620
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:40 AM
I seem to have better luck with it. I was on it for 5 years before and it only took me 6 months to conceive dd after stopping

Quoting Anonymous: It took me about two years after ONE depo shot to conceive. I'm just warning you. It was the worst thing ever. I hated the shot. Maybe get on the pill?
April620
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 8:41 AM
It's too early for popcorn

Quoting Anonymous:

popcorn

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