I've always been super close to her. We have an excellent relationship.
My issue is this: when I was 7 her live in boyfriend molested me repeatedly. He beat the daylights out of her routinely. Also she hired a male babysitter who molested me a few times also. Years later she says, "I had a feeling that was going on." Then why didn't you stop it.
Also at one point she chose men over me. She quit smoking because she couldn't bring herself to smoke in a man's luxury van. I was abandoned in an apartment with little food. Yes, she paid the rent and utilities. But I lived alone. I was 12.
As she goes through the process of dying I'm broken hearted. But I'm still that molested, abandoned and hurt child.
I ask this, do I keep my mouth closed and allow her to not know my pain. OR Do I talk to her?
Please be kind, this isn't easy for me.