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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What I learned from CM this week ETA

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First, SIDS can be caught and treated.

Second, hemp seeds make you fail drug tests.

Third, being a whore is a perfectly acceptable career

Fourth, ass holes need a little attention in the grooming area.

Fifth and probably the most important, it is OK to be a psycho ex (or pretend to be just for the hell of it).

Sixth and the most disgusting, some men like it when you throw up on their cocks.

Seventh and most bizarre, my 10 year old D's is a spawn of Satan because of his blue eyes!
by on Aug. 7, 2014 at 9:19 PM
Replies (91-99):
pinktardis
by Pinky on Aug. 8, 2014 at 12:54 AM
I've learned that school supplies are bullies.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Aug. 8, 2014 at 12:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 I prefer to braid and bead mine, for special occasions I will use hot rollers and poof it like it's the 80's.

Quoting momofthree0429: Yes, that one just made me scratch my head. Get that thing waxed.
Quoting JDmommyJD: That not everyone primps their assholes.

 

Crashly
by Ashley on Aug. 8, 2014 at 12:55 AM
Hahaha
Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Aug. 8, 2014 at 1:20 AM

Well SIDS can be caught if it is an apnea issue, not if it's a brain/wiring/chemical issue. (Paranoid parent who lost one to SIDS and had two others on monitors) Mine were apnea related apparently. My second child quit breathing on me at 6 weeks (a week younger than her brother died) and my last one quit breathing randomly for 5 months so far. The attacks are fewer but I didn't let them linger on to get worse (waking to that alarm is a shock and I moved her hand or foot enough to get her to remember to breathe again usually) So they didn't let me keep her on the monitor. 


And poppy seeds make you fail a breathalyzer.

MicheleJM
by Phoenix on Aug. 8, 2014 at 7:16 AM
He's blue eyed lol.

Quoting Anonymous: Lmao!!! I have no answers, but you just cracked me up!

Maybe you could ask a priest? As long as his eyes are brown, you can probably trust him.

Quoting MicheleJM: I'm concerned because he gives me hugs and kisses. I assumed he loved me, now I wonder if he's trying to lull me into a false sense of security before he goes all demonic. I don't want to wake up one night to find him standing over me trying to suck out my soul like a dementor or something...

Quoting Anonymous: Maybe the anon who wrote it can come back and do a spin off?

I am also curious to know what to do with my soulless spawn.

Quoting MicheleJM: So does that mean I should put ds11 on the streets or can I do an exorcism? Certainly there must be remedies if you have a blue eyed child.

Quoting Anonymous: That blue eyed people lack souls.
fallenangel_353
by Nikki on Aug. 8, 2014 at 7:19 AM
Awe, my poor dh! Between ds, dd, and my blue eyes he is surrounded with evil!!!
BraydensMama163
by Ruby Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 7:21 AM
Omg I haven't seen anything lol thank god

Quoting JDmommyJD: Oh it's up and running as we speak.

Quoting BraydensMama163: I'm so glad I missed that one.

Quoting JDmommyJD: That not everyone primps their assholes.
MrsWhite101610
by Gold Member on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:21 AM
My daughter would be more than willing to share her soul, my husband is a candy junkie so maybe I could bribe him with the candy in exchange for sharing his soul

Quoting Anonymous: You can always bribe her with candy. Desperate times and all lol.

Quoting MrsWhite101610: Maybe if I get him and our daughter to both share their souls I'll be okay. Knowing my luck he may try taking his soul back... Maybe I should just share with dd lol

Quoting Anonymous: Hmm.....good question. I'm no theology major like the anon who mentioned it clearly was, but he sounds okay. Perhaps he would be willing to share his soul with you?

My poor little blue eyed babe is screwed, his brown eyed brother won't share ANYTHING! With only two souls in my family, we clearly have some tough math to work out.

Quoting MrsWhite101610: His eyes are so dark they look black, does that still count? Lol (he's black and bald, I'm ghostly white with red hair so we're complete opposites lol)

Quoting Anonymous: Hope his eyes are brown. You're SOL if they're not, lol.

Quoting MrsWhite101610: Oh gosh I dunno? Lol

My husband is always calling me a soul less ginger. I've started telling him in going to steal his soul =)

Quoting Anonymous: I wonder, if you have red hair and blue eyes, are you like, double soulless? Lol.

Quoting MrsWhite101610: And here I thought it was only us red heads who were soul-less lol

Quoting Anonymous: That blue eyed people lack souls.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Aug. 8, 2014 at 8:23 AM
That's funny, I learned all of that to.
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