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I feel awful for the women on here who have such huge fights with the DH over NOTHING.

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:02 AM
  • 33 Replies
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And you always hear  it's the small things - they add up.

but really - I think I'd be divorced 10 times over if I or DH were as oppositional as some of you are.

Simple things don't have to be drag out battles

Find solutions! Work it out...



by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lizzie_ann
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:06 AM
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Sometimes those small issues aren't really what the fight is about. The first four years after our daughter died we had a dumb fight (and pretty much our only fight of the year) within a few days of the anniversary of her death. It wasn't about whatever silly issue, it was about both of us being emotionally drained.
We might be beyond that now because we didn't fight last year.
Gabeys_Mommy
by Gold Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:13 AM
One thing I love about our relationship is that sometimes we do get in fights over stupid stuff but were able to move on quickly.
myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:19 AM
Agreed. I've had relationships like that before and they suck. Not that dh and I never snap at each other, we just don't let it escalate to some huge thing. It can be hard to apologize for being a douche, but that's still easier than fighting all the time.
Foolynroo2
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:20 AM
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Quoting Gabeys_Mommy: One thing I love about our relationship is that sometimes we do get in fights over stupid stuff but were able to move on quickly.

Everyone gets into arguements over stupid shit.

Its when they turn into huge fights over stupid shit that's sad.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:20 AM

Yeah, I just don't need the drama. I think some people grow up thinking that the fighting is normal, to a degree.  I was raised that yelling solved nothing...if it isn't kind, necessary, and helpful-keep your mouth shut.  In 8 years of marriage (12 years together total) we have only had one "fight" and that was over a matter of omission that, to me, constituted lying...it has not been an issue since.

If we were fighting over anything 24/7, I'd have never married him.

purple_panda
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:22 AM
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We get into little disagreements about stupid things, typically by then end we're both laughing. We are able to make fun of ourselves and the stupid nothing fights.
PogoPalOj
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this

 My husband and I have disagreements all the time, but about every six months or so we have a blow out.  Something small usually triggers it, but is not about the small things, it is about stress building up on both sides.  We see it for what it is and move on.  We love each other and sometimes you just take things out on those you love.

I heard an interesting technique to arguing.  Hold hands while you have your disagreement.  It will keep you focused on what your thoughts are and not the hurt you are feeling.

XxMandazX
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:24 AM
Usually the little fight over nothing is actually a blanket to an even larger problem.
luckysevenwow
by Emerald Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:25 AM

My husband and I have had out fights, being married for 24 years it's bound to happen, but it's rarely over small things. I don't have the energy to fight over stupid shit. 

MelanieJK
by Platinum Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 10:38 AM

We aren't yelling or fighting type of people.     I think some people just are.      Just regular interaction with their kids sounds like out of control anger and yelling to me.     But their kids don't seem to react to it as if it's any big deal.   They usually tune them out.     

If people fight about little things at full throttle,   it seems like  their ability to communicate about big things is likely diminished.    It's cry wolf.      

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