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-VENT- I just want a break!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
I work full time, I have three boys, and my fiancé (their dad) works out of town in the oil field. He leaves for 6-7 days comes home 3 days and then leaves.

During that time I'm the one in charge. I work, take care of my kids, and even manage to keep the house spotless by bedtime.

When he's home I still take the kids to school, I still pick them up after work, I still cook, and all the while my house is a mess!!!!

I asked him a day ago if he could help me clean up. His excuse was that I left him with the kids while I went to work, so he couldn't take out the trash or clean the table.

It's always the same and every time I bring it up, saying how he needs to help me clean up he says "it's your fault for being lazy when I get home."

Lazy??? Lazy?!? Who keeps this house spotless, who works, is going to school during her lunch hour in work so she can still spend time with her kids after work, who takes care of the kids and makes sure they have everything??

He then has the audacity to say "I could do your job like nothing. It's not that stressful"

I know his job is hard and demanding, but when he's over there, they cook for him, all he does is eat and sleep when he's off in the location.

But I don't get an extra hour of sleep, I don't get a small quiet moment to be able to read. I don't get to just wake up and have food ready for the kids and myself. And I don't get to talk to friends and go hang out with them either.

So why? Why can I have just an hour to myself before work, go get some coffee and enjoy the peace & quiet? Why can't I come home to a clean house? Why can't I actually rest for a freakin hour or two?

I'm on the verge of letting this snap me.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jen291985
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:33 AM

Becasue a lot of men are lazy and stupid. Sounds like he's taking advantage of you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Dh was the same way, until I got sick for a few days.

He couldn't last one day. Lmao! We have five kids, 7 and under. He has since been more helpful.

He works 3 days one week and 4 days the next. Gets to chat and hang around adults, play ping pong at work, and have as many breaks as he wants.

I stay home with the kids, cook, clean, homeschool, and tend to every need. My friends and our family live 4 hours away, so i don't have anyone to hang out with.
LivingDeadGirlx
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this
My Dh was the same way until I had to leave for a week. All responsibility was on him, and he actually came to me and apologized, telling me hoe bad he needed me.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:42 AM
I don't even get to rest when I'm sick. If he's here instill have to do everything because "I'm just being selfish" or "I'm always getting sick"

:(

And even if he did take care of them, in an hour the kids come and ask me for stuff cuz their dad is "too busy"

I'm just tired really

Quoting Anonymous: Dh was the same way, until I got sick for a few days.

He couldn't last one day. Lmao! We have five kids, 7 and under. He has since been more helpful.

He works 3 days one week and 4 days the next. Gets to chat and hang around adults, play ping pong at work, and have as many breaks as he wants.

I stay home with the kids, cook, clean, homeschool, and tend to every need. My friends and our family live 4 hours away, so i don't have anyone to hang out with.
LimeTree
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:42 AM
1 mom liked this
My husband would help on his days off, somewhat. Then when I got super sick and he had to stay home from work and was with the kids 3 days straight he realized how hard it is. He then understood why I would collapse in bed every night. Our kids are insane.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:47 AM
Oh wow. Selfish?

Kind of sounds like he's a spoiled brat...

Quoting Anonymous: I don't even get to rest when I'm sick. If he's here instill have to do everything because "I'm just being selfish" or "I'm always getting sick"



:(



And even if he did take care of them, in an hour the kids come and ask me for stuff cuz their dad is "too busy"



I'm just tired really
Quoting Anonymous: Dh was the same way, until I got sick for a few days.



He couldn't last one day. Lmao! We have five kids, 7 and under. He has since been more helpful.



He works 3 days one week and 4 days the next. Gets to chat and hang around adults, play ping pong at work, and have as many breaks as he wants.



I stay home with the kids, cook, clean, homeschool, and tend to every need. My friends and our family live 4 hours away, so i don't have anyone to hang out with.
3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this
You don't get breaks because you don't plan for them. It's OK to hire a sitter while your boyfriend is gone & spend a few hours doing something you like to do. You know he doesn't like to do anything while he's home, so hire a cleaning lady & send the bill to him. He should be willing to step up & offer you some me time, but since he's not willing to do that you have to get a little creative.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:50 AM
More like he's an inconsiderate, insensitive guy who can't apologize when he's wrong.

*sigh*

and yea. He says I'm selfish for wanting to have an hour or two for myself. It's not like I'm going to a club or drinking or anything. I just wan an extra hour of sleep, some time to read or bake, or go to the gym.

But even then I don't think it will happen until the kids are in school.

Quoting Anonymous: Oh wow. Selfish?

Kind of sounds like he's a spoiled brat...

Quoting Anonymous: I don't even get to rest when I'm sick. If he's here instill have to do everything because "I'm just being selfish" or "I'm always getting sick"

:(

And even if he did take care of them, in an hour the kids come and ask me for stuff cuz their dad is "too busy"

I'm just tired really
Quoting Anonymous: Dh was the same way, until I got sick for a few days.

He couldn't last one day. Lmao! We have five kids, 7 and under. He has since been more helpful.

He works 3 days one week and 4 days the next. Gets to chat and hang around adults, play ping pong at work, and have as many breaks as he wants.

I stay home with the kids, cook, clean, homeschool, and tend to every need. My friends and our family live 4 hours away, so i don't have anyone to hang out with.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:54 AM
I have actually thought about hiring a cleaning lady more than once. About getting a babysitter and just having some ME time. But unfortunately, the babysitters here charge a bundle, and my own family says no. "I have a fiancé to ask him for help."

The cleaning lady I think I will get though. LoL

Quoting 3xangel: You don't get breaks because you don't plan for them. It's OK to hire a sitter while your boyfriend is gone & spend a few hours doing something you like to do. You know he doesn't like to do anything while he's home, so hire a cleaning lady & send the bill to him. He should be willing to step up & offer you some me time, but since he's not willing to do that you have to get a little creative.
jenesis509
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this
Because he doesn't understand. If he could do your job tell him then why wasn't the house clean wile you had the kids? I do that lol. Good luck though I suggest a sitter for a little me time.
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