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How does your relationship with your mom affect they way you parent?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies
It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized my mother was no saint....

It scares me that I may have some of her traits.

Anyone else?
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:10 PM

My mom died when I was 16. She was no saint, but she was a good mom. We were very close, yet she still taught me how to be very independant and to work for things. A lot of the way I parent is because of her. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:11 PM
My mothers certifiably crazy. Abuse, mean, vile, has no friends. My childhood was nothing but lies and craziness.
I parent the exact opposite of how she did.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:12 PM
Yes. I vow to my kids to be what she wasnt, a mother.
Hubris_Huntsman
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:13 PM

I have a great relationship with my mom but that doesn't mean I agree with everything she did.  I try to learn from the things I think she did wrong and keep the things she did right.  She only did I few things I don't agree with - forcing us to do sports we didn't want to do and believing everything we said.

teenkabear
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:14 PM

I've always known my mother was no saint.  I didn't have that veil over my eyes as a child & I consider myself lucky for it.

Basically, she taught me most of the wrong things and why not to do them.  I do have some of her traits, I can't help it, I am her flesh & blood.  For example, I am lazy as hell, just like her.  But I do accomplish the things that need to be done for my family's health & safety--she did not care enough to do that.  I probably don't do as much as a lot of other moms, but my kids are happy, safe & healthy, so I think I'm doing pretty okay.

It's more about how you let those traits effect your parenting--they don't have to have a major negative impact if you don't let them.  Just be self aware.

RocknRoll.Rose
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:17 PM
My mother was a hellish nightmare so I try hard to be everything she wasn't : loving, stable, nurturing, and sober. I never had a relationship with my mother but things are going to be different for my kids.
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brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:21 PM

I really hope I am as good of mom to my son as my mom was to me. She wasn't perfect but I have more fond memories then bad. 

Hoppers33
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:27 PM
I'm not sure how to explain my mom. She is extremely selfish and never did anything for us if it didn't benefit her or make her look good. At the same time, though, I was properly disciplined and I never felt like she didn't love me, just that she loved herself more. I didn't have an awful childhood, but I want to be more patient and giving with my kids.
Darkangelpunk
by Silver Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:27 PM
I don't like my mother but I love her. She not picks everything and gets on everyone's nerves. She is lazy and I am as well. She gave me everything I wanted when I was a child I didn't even have to work for it.
I am different I tell my dd no if it is not needed. I let her know when she is being disrespectful. And give her time outs. And I make my dd much better food then I was given. Yes sometimes it's not healthy but we eat at home 98% of the time where I was taken out to dinner to fast food or similar when I was young.
myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 3:30 PM
My mom wasn't a bad mother, but she was very overprotective. We didn't get along at all when I was a teen because she wouldn't talk to me about a lot of things. I'm a worrier like she was, but my son will always be able to talk to me about anything.
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