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Cheaters and Staying with them ....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 53 Replies

I personally do not ever believe any person who says (something to the effect of) "we worked thru it and are happier/healthier/stronger than ever!".

I believe you may think or want to believe that, but I dont think it is ever true.

How in the world does your LIFE PARTNER f~cking someone else behind your back (the lying, deception, betrayal, disrespect, humiliation, and sooo much more it entails) make your relationship better in any way?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 10, 2014 at 5:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
B1Bomber
by Ruby Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:01 PM
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It's not the cheating that makes life better. It's the communication and recommitment that stems from repentance and forgiveness.
sfigu16
by Platinum Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:02 PM
I think its the fact that they can communicate better, forgiveness etc etc.

Im with you tho but whatever, everyone does whatever they think its right/best for them and if they are happy, who are we to tell them otherwise?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:05 PM

You don't have to believe it. What matters is the person in the relationship believes it. It is their relationship. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I get that that's what people say .... I think if he didnt honor the initial commitment, what makes the "after cheating" commitment any more sincere? It meant nothing once .... why is it sacred now? Because he got caught?

Quoting B1Bomber: It's not the cheating that makes life better. It's the communication and recommitment that stems from repentance and forgiveness.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:06 PM

Ohhhhh .... I thought they were all MY relationships! My bad lol.

Quoting Anonymous:

You don't have to believe it. What matters is the person in the relationship believes it. It is their relationship. 


lovetoteachec
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:07 PM
If my dh cheats he's gone!!!
SpoiledMe
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:07 PM
2 moms liked this

It wasn't him having a ONS that made our marriage better. What all we did to work through our problems made our marriage better.  Our marriage was in a terrible place when he cheated. We fought all the time, which led to him drinking. Which led to us fighting more. It wasn't long before he wasn't coming home and I didn't care if he did or not. His ONS, coming home drunk and confessing, was the the catalyst. Our problems had been growing and we had been growing apart for a few years before it happened.  It did take a long time to work out our problems, they had been building for years. However, once we had our marriage was better than before. Our marriage was better because we were better people and better spouses to one another. Over the years I realized what happened wasn't about her, it was about us all along. She was just collateral damage in our disaster of a marriage at that time.  

It's been 14 years since that happened. I've never regretted staying and working things out. My life, and myself as a person, have been all the better for it.  You can believe whatever you wish. However unless you are me, you don't actually know whether my marriage is better or not. You would have to have been in my marriage, living my life to know that or not.

hateaway
by Platinum Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:07 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree. I believe if someone really loves you, they wouldn't even think about cheating. That shit hurts.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:08 PM

I hear you. Just stating a personal opinion or perspective. That's what we do here, lol.

Quoting sfigu16: I think its the fact that they can communicate better, forgiveness etc etc. Im with you tho but whatever, everyone does whatever they think its right/best for them and if they are happy, who are we to tell them otherwise?


JordanCsMommy
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 6:09 PM
My SO wasn't "fucking" anyone. He had an emotional relationship with another woman. We communicated about why and worked on our problems so we can both be happy. Things are great now because we both know what we were lacking for each other.
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