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Am I missing something or is it racism?

Posted by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:46 PM
  • 58 Replies
2 moms liked this

A little background before I tell my story: 

my husband and I are both white and we adopted an African American child from the state. We fostered our son since he was 14 days old, straight out of the NICU and adopted him at 17 months old. Our son recently turned 3 and is the greatest joy in our lives.!

On Sunday my husband, son and myself went to Best. Buy to look for a new printer. Our son was sitting in the cart and I was walking around the store with him because he was getting at little antsy. He saw a little boy around 5 looking at tablets and said Hello. The little boy looked from him to me and my son said again "Hello" the boys mother turned around with a smile on her face looking at her son and then looked at mine. Her smile faded, she took her sons hand and walked away from us. My son looked at me and said "Mommy, why didn't he say Hi?" I was shocked at what just took place and all I said was "I don't know" I was fuming and went to find my husband to tell him what happened. Of couse my DH said "F her" and kept looking at printers. 

today my son and I went to Walmart to get some printer paper (for the new printer) and while we were grabbing a cart a (black) woman and her three young sons were also getting a cart. My son said Hi to them and no answer, so he said it a little louder. The kids looked to me then my son. I smiled at the boys while heaving my son into the cart. No kidding the mom saw my son saying Hi and walked away with her kids. Ok that is twice in Two days! My son and myself dress appropriately and nice, it's not like we are slobs, no food dribbled down the front of us, we don't stink and we are certainly not rude. I don't understand. When my son was a tiny baby I was with him in a store and I walked by two ladies that when they saw me with him said loud enough for me to hear " I am sick of white women stealing our strong black men. They have no business with a brother" Uh what? I was shocked. My mother happened to be visiting and with me at the time. She shot me a look and said "Don't you dare" I walked right up to these ladies and told them " My husband is white, I am Foster parent and if it offends you to see a white woman with a black baby, then get off your ass, get licensed and take in these kids yourself" all of a sudden they changed their tune and told me how wonderful I was for doing it. I don't need their approval! Then I felt like crap and was mad at myself for feeling like I had to justify my situation. I don't understand what is going on. Were we snubbed because I am white and he is black? I have tons of friends with biracial children and I adore all of them. Am I taking it too personally? As an adult I can handle my emotions (most of the time) but it is starting to affect my son, he doesn't understand and it's not fair to him. How do I explain to him what is going on?

by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:48 PM
by Ashley on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:50 PM
The women talking were being racist.
I don't think the others were. It drives me nuts when random children I don't know start talking to me or my kiddo.
by Keyser Söze on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:50 PM
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Sounds like racism to me but I'm white so what do I know.

by on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:50 PM
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It's hard to say about the people in the stores not saying Hi. My daughters are white, I am white, DF is white... If we are in a store and the kids say HI to another kid or adult some give mean looks and some say Hi back.

I hope it gets better.

by Ruby Member on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:52 PM
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You're taking it too personally.

by Whofflé on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:53 PM
People can be so rude. Especially depending on your area, you should mainly just expect it to some degree. I doubt it will get easier as he gets older. But good for you for adopting him
by Kim on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:56 PM
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People are fairly rude in general these days. I would not put so much thought into it.
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:58 PM
The "hello" thing happens all the time with kids. Some kids/parents will say hi, some won't. Not everything is about race.
by Emerald Member on Aug. 11, 2014 at 11:59 PM

I think you are making a lot of assumptions. Some just don't like their kids talking to strangers, regardless if race.

by Chemistry cat on Aug. 12, 2014 at 12:03 AM
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

Quoting Anonymous: Lol.
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