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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband told me he is not attracted to me

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 47 Replies
But he loves me and does not want me to leave him. A year ago we almost split. I left for two weeks to see my family and think about what I wanted to do. During this time, he cheated on me with two separate women. One was a co worker I already had suspicions about but he denied. Another was a customer. I left him. He begged and pleased for me to come back. Eventually I gave in after we did counseling and he started church with me. After that (and before that) we had zero sex life. He never wanted me. He turned me down 98% of the time. Said he was tired or busy. It really bothered me. Our sex life is the same way. He isn't cheating and I know for a fact because I track all his shit. We have been doing really good. Only problem is out sex life still is non existent. I try to seduce him and it is always unsuccessful. I dropped 30 lbs and I'm skinnier now then I was when we met. I'm an attractive woman, I am very fit and desirable. I frequently get asked out and hit on. I finally broke down last night and asked him why he doesn't want to be with me but he was so quick to be with the other women. Why nothing I do turns him on. Why he never compliments me or wants me. Why we have sex once every couple months and it's short and boring. He broke down and told me he just isn't attracted to me anymore. That he loves me but he isn't sexually attracted to me. He doesn't know why. He thinks I'm beautiful and all that but I can't arouse him. I don't know what to do. We have a life together. We get along great. We have only ever had that one rough patch. He has been faithful since it happened. He is affectionate to me (cuddles and foot rubs) but won't be with me sexually. I asked him for a divorce and he refused. Said he will not let us get divorced and he needs me? I don't get it. I'm so lost, I need more then what he is giving me. I can't spend the rest of my life with someone who is not attracted to me. Who doesn't want to be with me romantically. I need that. He is the only person I can get that from. It hurts so much. I told him that he deserves to be with someone who he is sexually attracted to and has chemistry with. I told him I deserve to be with someone who wants me and is attracted to me. Someone who thinks I'm desirable and wants to make love to me. I don't know what to do.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
corticosteroid
by Ruby Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:50 PM

Sounds like Hubster has a few kinks he's unwilling to face.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:54 PM
What do you mean

Quoting corticosteroid:

Sounds like Hubster has a few kinks he's unwilling to face.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Just BC he doesn't want a divorce, doesn't mean you can't divorce him! My bff was married to a wife beater. He begged and pleaded her to not divorce him. She said too bad so sad. They had to wait for 6 months and after that, the divorce went thru. Yeah I could not be with someone who said that to me and didn't want sex! Goods luck!
Schnauzerlov869
by Bronze Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
She means he's possibly gay?
Libbah
by Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:57 PM

I would leave.  I don't think that admission (or the cheating) is something I could ever get over.  I believe you are selling yourself short if you stay.  I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  I can only imagine how painful it is for you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:58 PM
If he was gay he would be cheating on me with men...

Quoting Schnauzerlov869: She means he's possibly gay?
feminista
by Silver Member on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:58 PM
2 moms liked this
LauraBelle9812
by EmmasMom on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:58 PM
Get a divorce and move on
rfhsure
by beast mode on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:58 PM
I don't really have good advice. I just feel bad for you. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 12, 2014 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this
That's why I asked him for a divorce. I know that I deserve to be with someone who wants me, finds me attractive and wants to be with me.

Quoting Libbah:

I would leave.  I don't think that admission (or the cheating) is something I could ever get over.  I believe you are selling yourself short if you stay.  I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  I can only imagine how painful it is for you.

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