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Please help! Need advice from moms of sensitive/emotional/shy kids re:school

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:04 PM
  • 12 Replies
My son is about to start kindergarten. He is very sensitive, more than a little socially awkward, and has some odd quirks (either due to his own personality or his epilepsy meds).

He has done well in his preschool, where there are only 10 kids who have all been together for 3 years.

But I am worried about sending him to a class of 25 kids. He is already worried as well, and having nightmares.

Any advice for how to make this transition easier for him? I am having a private meeting with the teacher, as well.
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by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rgba
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
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rgba
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
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rgba
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
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rgba
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
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opinionatedmom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
Tell him it's no different . Just more friends
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:08 PM

 Bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:09 PM
Is there a comfort item or a special piece of clothing you can send with him?

Sometimes that can help with kids who have problems socializing.

It's a comfort item they can control in a completely scary alien environment.
Spam72
by Emerald Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:09 PM
Have him tested for ebd. The e stands emotion. If he has so many feelings that he can't function at a typical level an iep may help with the process.
other_mother
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:11 PM

I would contact the teacher and mention your concerns and see whether there is a child in the class who is more nurturing (for lack of a better word) that he can be set up with on a buddy system.

My daughter is also extremely shy and this is what her teacher has suggested.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:32 PM
2 moms liked this
It sounds like more is going on then just being shy. Just the socially awkward aspect. My Dd is now going into 2nd and I worked very hard to help her along and now she has come so far out of her shell. My advice to you from my experience and reading about shyness is the following:

1. Don't call him shy and identify him as shy to others. That gives your son a crutch to not socialize. Shyness is a feeling, not who we are. If you always speak for him and tell others he's shy in front of him... He will own it and hide behind it. I refer to my daughter as reserved sometimes. I try to address HER and not others. If she was feeling overwhelmed when walking into a party? I wouldn't freak out or excuse her behavior. I had to ACCEPT that her feelings were real to her. I would say to her in front of the mom "Do you need a minute?" And let her have a minute to acclimate. Sometimes parents would encourage their kids to welcome her.

2. ACCEPT your child for who he is. ACCEPT that his feelings of anxiety are REAL. It's often the "what ifs" playing out in his mind. "What if nobody talks to me?" "What if I'm playing and my mom leaves when I'm not looking?" "What if I have seizure in front of people?" Work on talking through his worries and address them and even play with them. My Dd was afraid of getting in trouble at school. She never got in trouble but was terrified of that. So we would talk about reasons people get in trouble. Then we worked through the levels... Sometimes being absurd. "What if you didn't realize it was quiet time and you were talking to a friend?" " Your teacher would...?" Then we would say what she was worried would happen like a game. It went from her teacher giving her a "yellow" to " what if she yells at you really loudly and then a giant talking gorilla comes into the room, throws you over their shoulder and brings you to the principals office?!!" Or she was afraid of buying milk because the milk buyers had to "cut line"...and we drew pictures of her in line and things that would happen... From somebody thinking she's cutting and what to say to... A giant rainbow transporting her to the cashier. Lol it was just a way to address the what ifs and play out the situations she was worried about. Let him know that YOU feel this way too sometimes and tell him what makes you feel that way and what you do.

3. Again. Accept that he may just be reserved and it may take him time to warm up. He may be cool with a few close friends. When you need to worry is when it effects him from functioning. And you can contact the school guidance counselor for help.

4. In your case, their may be a chance that there are medical issues that Ned to be addressed. I only say that because you mention seizures, seizure meds, and quirkiness/social awkwardness. Which makes me wonder about sensory issues, mild autism spectrum issues etc.

Good luck!
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