Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Changes

Posted by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:49 PM
  • 8 Replies

On 10-21-13 I gave birth to the most life changing gift I can ask for my son, Aiden. I have been married for 6 years, and I love my husband and I know he loves me as well as my son. I just cannot comprehend how he feels lately. I know I have had a hard time giving him his 24 7 time and I feel like I created a monster due to how much I catered to him before Aiden. I do attempt to do things with him whether it is "perosnal" or recreational but nothing seems enough. He has a very busy job also and I just recently became a stay at home mom when he took on this job, but now I feel like he holds it against me and makes comments like "you can do this on your free time" It is almost like he doesnt acknowledge me being with our son is important. I was extremely frustrated on Monday when he took off all day to help with a project at our church and then also went fishing after. My son and I were home all day and we could have done things as a family and then today same thing, could have been home but wasnt. i DO NOT believe hes cheating or anything like that....I just dont understand how he can spend so much time away from us and not so much me but his son. I get we all need our time but I always feel like ill miss something with being away from Aiden I love being with him. Have any other moms experienced these changes with their mates.

by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:49 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
MadmanWithABox
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:55 PM
1 mom liked this
He is probably just having a hard time adjusting and being totally obstinate about it. Ultimately, you can't force him to be more interactive. He might come around as the baby ages.
veronicas102113
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:57 PM

Thats true....thanks and I sure hope so!

Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 2:58 PM

Do you guys not do anything as a family? Does he help with the baby?

It could be because the baby is so young and he just doesn't know what to do with him. DH was kind of that way. He hated the baby stage. Once DS got a little older and ways playing, DH had so much more fun with him. DS is now 7 and they have a blast together because DH is able to play with all the toys he loved as a kid with DS.

For DH and I it was the opposite way around. I felt like I needed time away more then DH did. I love my son, but I dont need to be around him 24/7. When he was about a month old we went out to a movie and FIL was babysitting. DH was the one who had to call and check up. I was annoyed and just wanted a couple hours out and for us to be us, not worrying about the baby.

lovemymini
by Emerald Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this

The first few years after your first baby is born is the toughest on a marriage IMO.  You can't ever be prepared for how it will change your relationship.. Hopefully this patch passes soon for ya'll.

 Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers

veronicas102113
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:01 PM

Thats funny....I guess we are all different and I do hope to be able to get more relaxed like you. M husband does things when I ask him to.....but definetly does bedtime everynight which I do appreciate. I guess maybe Im just complaining to much. I see your point maybe Aiden is just to young.

the.B.karma
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:02 PM

It sounds like none of you really adjusted the "correct" way really. I think it's time to really sit down and have a nice heart to heart about it all. What is expected from either partner, what does and does not affect your child (because we all know he is most important) and what can change to make things a bit easier. I wouldn't push it all on him like it's all his fault either. Take the seat that says you're both a little guilty of not staying happy all together. 

It sucks. Relationships sucks and I do not even know jack shit about most of them. So just my thoughts.

veronicas102113
by on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:04 PM

your comment made me chuckle when you said relationships suck lol they di but you are right....its definelty both of us

Seagodess
by Emerald Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 3:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 Thats great that he does bedtime. That will be something special over the years.

Give it time. One thing to remember is that even though your a mom now, you are still a wife too. Dont forget that you and your DH need to have time without baby sometimes too. DH and I forgot to do that for a while and it really took a toll on our relationship for a while.

Quoting veronicas102113:

Thats funny....I guess we are all different and I do hope to be able to get more relaxed like you. M husband does things when I ask him to.....but definetly does bedtime everynight which I do appreciate. I guess maybe Im just complaining to much. I see your point maybe Aiden is just to young.

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)