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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How to deal with a kid that rips up everything, help?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

My DD7 has this behavior that's driving me NUTS. Absolutely NUTS.

She HAS to rip, tear, cut, everything. When she's in the bathroom she rips off squares of toilet paper and rips them into smaller squares. When she has a pack of stickers she rips the pages out and then rips around each individual sticker making sticker confetti, she ran across some scissors last week and chopped off a piece of her hair (Now I have to braid a headband across her head every morning for school so it's not obvious) I found her behind her door a few weeks ago with a pair of scissors cutting up some paper for no reason... 

She knows she's not allowed to use scissors without my approval and supervision, and old enough to know that the sneaking around is dishonest and wrong... and she regretted cutting her hair immediately, but it's like she can't help herself. She's normally a really well behaved kid. People comment all the time on how polite and well behaved and well spoken she is. She doesn't have any other issues in regards to behavior outside of the norm... it's just this one thing that's bothering me. 

My wife has offered up the idea of doing a supervised craft like once a week for her to get out all the need to rip/tear/cut/whatever but I'm having a hard time because at this moment I feel like it's rewarding behaviors that I don't want rewarded. I don't know. Last week I took it into consideration and made paper dolls with her so she'd have the opportunity to cut something supervised by me and just today I catch her making sticker confetti again...

Does anyone else's kid do this? Any ideas for what I can do to curb the behavior?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:38 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:41 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:43 PM

I should have put "I hate welfare" as the title. *sigh*

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:45 PM

BUMP!

WillowTreesMom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:47 PM
My 4 year old does the same thing. Sorry I can't help.
DensHag
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I like the idea of supervised crafts where she gets it out of her system...but let her know that if she gets caught doing it when NOT supervised, the crafts are DONE and the scissors are GONE.

Leissaintexas
by Ruby Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Other than cutting her hair, I don't see a problem. Get the girl some safety scissors and a stack of scrap paper and let her go! Ill be honest, I enjoy doing that too. Its fun and its not hurting anything.

Most kids do, at some point, cut their own hair. That's pretty normal.
ttriddick
by Gold Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:49 PM
I say this. Also, what sort of punishment does she face for doing something you told her not to do?

Quoting DensHag:

I like the idea of supervised crafts where she gets it out of her system...but let her know that if she gets caught doing it when NOT supervised, the crafts are DONE and the scissors are GONE.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:49 PM

I am not sure why she is doing it, that will take some digging on your part. Maybe it's her fidget activity, like nail biting or hair twirling, it could be a stress release for her, something like that. All I think I'd do is try to find out why she does it, make her pick up all of the messes she makes, hide all of the scissors, and give her daily supervised cutting/ripping time for maybe 30 minutes during which she can cut and rip to her heart's content while you watch her to make sure she' s not cutting something inappropriate like her hair again. This may be one of those things that serves a psychological or emotional purpose for her, so just stopping it probably wouldn't be a good idea. It's better to make it a sanctioned, supervised activity then her continuing to hide it. And do try to get to the bottom of why she's doing it. If it's stress, maybe you can help her deal with whatever is bothering her. I think the ripping/cutting is maybe a symptom not necessarily the actual issue. Good luck, mama.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:50 PM

I appreciate knowing I'm not alone!! 

The thing is, I'm a talker. We sit down and discuss behavior issues and why they're wrong. So she already KNOWS why it's not cool, and she keeps telling me she doesn't know WHY she does it. Like it's a compulsion.

And as far as them being gone... I can't ban her from toilet paper. LOL. So even if I take the scissors I worry about the behavior. (she no longer has any access to any of her stickers or scissors, they're put away and she has to have permission to access them from henceforth)  

Bahhhh. 

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