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I love him but I am not in love with him

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies
My dh and I have been together for almost 10 years.
In the beginning things were great. But a series of events took their toll (job loss and illness).

To keep it short and simple we barely all anymore. We have at least one big blow out argument a month. We have sex maybe once a month.
He blames me for a lot of things. The last blow up he took our dd and left. He told me he may or may not come back. I had friends there who helped me as I cried. Thankfully he came back with dd.
We ended up fighting in front of a friend last night. It basically boiled down to me changing and him not wanting to even compromise. Mi will admit that I am not perfect and have thing to change. But so does he.
I don't even know if it is worth saving anymore.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:53 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:54 PM
B
momto2boys973
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 6:57 PM

Those were my sil's exact words when she divorced her husband. She went through her journey of self discovery and eventually realized that "in love" is just infatuation and that must end in every relationship to create real, deep love.

They remarried a year ago.

So if that's the reason for you considering divorce, do a lot of soul searching. If there are other issues that you need to work on, talk them over with your husband and decide together if you truly want to learn to love each other and make it work.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 7:01 PM
I have tried to talk to him. He is a very self centered and egotistical person who never takes blame for anything. Even in our marriage.
That is the problem I am having. Even after we endow our argument the other night the friend who stayed and listened said he doesn't sound like he wants to fix anything.

Quoting momto2boys973:

Those were my sil's exact words when she divorced her husband. She went through her journey of self discovery and eventually realized that "in love" is just infatuation and that must end in every relationship to create real, deep love.

They remarried a year ago.

So if that's the reason for you considering divorce, do a lot of soul searching. If there are other issues that you need to work on, talk them over with your husband and decide together if you truly want to learn to love each other and make it work.

momto2boys973
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 7:03 PM

It's almost impossible to work in a relationship when only one is doing all the work. So I think this is ultimately your decision. Its up to you to decide if there's something worth saving there.

Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous: I have tried to talk to him. He is a very self centered and egotistical person who never takes blame for anything. Even in our marriage. That is the problem I am having. Even after we endow our argument the other night the friend who stayed and listened said he doesn't sound like he wants to fix anything.
Quoting momto2boys973:

Those were my sil's exact words when she divorced her husband. She went through her journey of self discovery and eventually realized that "in love" is just infatuation and that must end in every relationship to create real, deep love.

They remarried a year ago.

So if that's the reason for you considering divorce, do a lot of soul searching. If there are other issues that you need to work on, talk them over with your husband and decide together if you truly want to learn to love each other and make it work.


PinkButterfly66
by Sapphire Member on Aug. 13, 2014 at 7:06 PM

If he's not willing to work on the marriage, then there is no hope.  Either you stay out of duty and be miserable or you divorce.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 13, 2014 at 7:14 PM
It's hard for me to say that I think my dd ad I would have a better life without him. My dd doesn't even notice him anymore because he is all but physically absent. She doesn't want him to tuck her in at night or anything. He can leave and she won't bat an eye. I leave and she begs me not to go.

Quoting PinkButterfly66:

If he's not willing to work on the marriage, then there is no hope.  Either you stay out of duty and be miserable or you divorce.

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