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Should custodial parent do half the driving?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:47 PM
  • 21 Replies

I have done half the driving for the past 7 years we have been divorced.  We do not have a set visitation schedule because his work schedule changes weekly.  Sometimes he sees them once a month, sometimes it is 3 weekends in a row.  We live 1.5 hours away from each other.  His DF had a baby and is a SAHM now so this summer he has wanted them a lot since she is home to watch them.  As I was driving home from dropping them to him yesterday I started getting all annoyed at the time, energy, and money it takes me to do that drive on a weekly basis.  He doesn't do half of anything else so why should I do half the driving?  He doesn't bring them to doc appointments, stay home from work when they are sick, get them to school every day, go to parent/teachers conferences, drive them to practice or friend's houses etc.  I do all of that and still get stuck with a 3 hr drive each week lately.  How would you feel about that situation?

by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:49 PM
2 moms liked this

I think you should meet half way for drop off and pick ups since it is such a long drive. 

KairisMama
by Emerald Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:49 PM
3 hours? No way, he'd be taking a good deal of those road trips.
working-girl
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:52 PM
I think half is fair. If you dont like it take him to court to change the agreement
PinkButterfly66
by Emerald Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:52 PM

If this were my ex, I'd tell him if he wants to see them, then he can drive his ass to my house and come get them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:52 PM

If you get along with him I would talk to him about it. But it's your children who really matter, if they want to see him it's worth it. My ex and I split the driving but we live local and have a joint arrangement.

carterscutie85
by Queen Bee on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:53 PM

I think he should at the very least drive halfway.

That is what most court orders would state for people in your situation.

HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:55 PM
I think, when it's your turn to have the kids you pick them up. If you don't want to pick them up, you don't want to see them. If it's that big a deal to you go to court and get an agreement in writing.
jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:55 PM
I've had this fight with ex for a long time. But he is wayyy behind in child support so if he starts fussing I tell him we can gladly take it to court. I guess my willingness to drive would be dependent on how much he was paying, who moved away to begin with and if I was working. I wouldn't want some girlfriend watching my kids anyway I don't think.
zoegirlsmom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:55 PM
I have to do a 100% so I think you have it pretty goo, but just ask if you can change the driving situation.
ThisCrazyLife00
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 3:57 PM

I'm not sure, I would think driving halfway would be the deal imo.  I have sole physical custody of DD and joint legal.  DDs father picks her up and drops her off every time he has visitation unless I offer to drop her off/pick her up if it's more convienant (like I'm driving right past his house anyways at the time he would be leaving).  But he only lives 1.5 miles from our house so it's totally not comparable.

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