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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"You can't give her that, it's not fair to my kid"

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My dd and nieces birthday are in the same week, and since they're close and go to the same school and have some of the same friends, we decided to have a combined birthday party this year. When talking with my SIL that dh and I were thinking about getting dd an iphone (She will be 13, we have told her she cannot have a smartphone until highschool, she currently has a little slide phone. This would be a complete suprise.) or a macbook pro (She needs a laptop for school anyway). She demanded to know why and I explained to her that dd has earned something nice like this with her grades, working hard during sports, babysitting the neighbors kids, and overall just being a good kid. Then she said "Well you can't give her that, because that wouldn't be fair to my dd." Um I'll give my daughter whatever I please, thank you. If I want her to have one and I can afford it, shut the hell up. She also said "My dd works harder than yours and is better at school, so if anything she deserves one." Like one, not true. two, that's fine, you buy her one. Smh

Edit: My niece is recieving a Coach purse filled with makeup from Too Faced, Mac, Benefit, Urban Decay, ect. As well as several gift cards. It all evens out. She's against my daughter recieving the laptop or phone in general because her daughter doesn't have an iphone or macbook. She's very competitve with the girls, always wanting them to be the same. Hell, one time my dd was offered a spot on the compition team at the studio they dance at together and sil asked me to not let her do it because her dd didn't get one and it wouldn't be fair. So, it's not just a timing issue, she just doesn't want her to have one at all.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:05 PM
Replies (31-40):
2007mommy2be
by on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Wth? Now you can really tell her to go suck a rotten banana, lol. At thirteen I wasn't getting a Coach purse lol. Lucky girls.

Quoting Anonymous:

She's giving her daughter a coach purse. True, not as expensive as a phone or laptop, but still a nice gift. It's not like she's getting nothing.

Quoting 702girly:

It seems mean to give her an expensive gift in front of your niece at their combined birthday party when you know she isn't getting anything expensive.

I'd say either split the parties up or give it to her at home. 

Sara-1989
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this
This is the problem with shared birthdays.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:27 PM

That's what I thought. I mean if she had came to me in private and asked if we could give dd her smaller gifts with friends and the big gift with family because she didn't want the girls to get jealous that's one thing. But what she did was another. Not to mention she's giving her daughter a coach purse at the party. Not as expensive, but still nice. She was also going to fill the purse with gift cards and nice makeup (urban decay, mac, stila, too faced, ect." Since she's going to let dd start wearing makeup. It's not like her daughters getting a walmart t shirt and mines getting something from apple. it'll look pretty even if you ask me.

Quoting Toonkasmommy: Right? I thought it was pretty normal to give gifts at the party lol.
Quoting 2007mommy2be: Wth? Are you kidding me? That's usually how it goes. Kid has party, kid gets gifts, kid opens gifts surrounded by friends and family.
Quoting AJsMom81507:

i dont get why you would give your DD her birthday present with all her friends there.  give it to her alone. 


KennyPooPoo22
by Platinum Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:28 PM
I don't see the problem. If sil thinks her kid deserves it, SHE can buy it.
I would give it to at home instead of the party though, just so you don't have 20 kids trying to see/play with it and it get broke before she can even use it.
mom2bahandcch
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:29 PM
Give her the phone or computer or what ever at the party. The other girl can get over it. Life isnt always going to be fair.
Bigmetalchicken
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:29 PM

Likf is not fair. The sooner kids learn this, the better off they will be as adults.

mom2theA-team
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:30 PM

Does she have an issue with you giving her the gift or giving her the gift AT the party?

Char-Bear
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:30 PM
One of many reasons I hate combined parties. Buy her what you want and give it to her at the party. Tell SIL to go jump in a lake. Life isn't always fair, if everyone got what they deserved or think they deserve we'd be living in Utopia.
HistoryNutty
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:30 PM
We always got gifts from our parents at home, on our birthday. It always worked out well for us.

Though, do what you want. It doesn't matter what you give your kids as gifts.
sheramom4
by Ruby Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 4:32 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

She's giving her daughter a coach purse. True, not as expensive as a phone or laptop, but still a nice gift. It's not like she's getting nothing.

Quoting 702girly:

It seems mean to give her an expensive gift in front of your niece at their combined birthday party when you know she isn't getting anything expensive.

I'd say either split the parties up or give it to her at home. 


They could have gotten her a laptop instead and chose not to. You can get decent laptops for the same price as a Coach purse. I fail to see the issue. Give your DD her gift and if your SIL throws a fit about it let her know it will be the last combined party. 

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