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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It's only August why are you bugging me about thanksgiving already?

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:26 AM
  • 77 Replies

My aunt is a great lady, but she is a tad overly affectionate.  We aren't close and never have been.  We've never spent holidays together, even once. I don't even know her birthday or when her kids (my cousins) birthdays are.  

A couple of years ago she reached out to me and my sister.  She wanted to get to know us, which is great.  The problem is, she's expecting more from this relationship than either of us really want.  She keeps saying how bad she feels that we don't have a mom and that she wants to be our mom 0.o    

My sister and I are 34, we don't need  a psuedo-mom.  An aunt would be nice.  

It's just very awkward.

Last year she asked me to come to her house for thanksgiving AND christmas and was upset I didn't go.  She lives very far, I don't drive and tbh I have my own traditions for the holidays.

Now she's started to pester about thankgiving.  Every time I talk to her she says "don't forget about thanksgiving at my house ok?  You have to come ok?  You're coming right?"

Damn.  It's only August!  Let October's holidays happen in October lol.

Anyhow, what is the gentlest way (because she is rather sensitive) to say, thanks but we're not coming to your house for thanksgiving?

by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
catcameback
by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:29 AM

BUMP!

chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:31 AM
3 moms liked this

Why don't you want to spend ONE holiday with her?  It's one day out of a lifetime.  She wants to see you.  I'm not getting how going to see her one time is such a burden for you.

LoveMyBug2013
by Silver Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Just tell her you are not able to make the drive and have standing plans for the holidays.  Would such and such weekend work for a visit?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this

 Why should she spent a holiday with an absent relative who is essentially a complete stranger rather than her own close friends and family? 

Quoting chalisa0:

Why don't you want to spend ONE holiday with her?  It's one day out of a lifetime.  She wants to see you.  I'm not getting how going to see her one time is such a burden for you.

 

Seagodess
by Ruby Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:33 AM

 Do you have other plans? Is there a reason you cant go visit her for one holiday? I get having your own traditions, but its nice to mix things up a bit once in a while.

happinessforyou
by Gold Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:34 AM

Oh man I feel ya! My mom wants to plan all this shit 2-3 months early too. I hate that. She wants to have the exact same meal for every holiday and she is UPSET if one of us (who is doing all the work) wants to make something different. How many freaking times do I have to have ham and turkey.... Good God!! We all know that Thanksgiving means turkey and Easter is ham. We do not need to discuss it in August!!!


catcameback
by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:34 AM

I gave my reasons in the post. 

I have my own traditions for holidays, and spending up to 5 hours on a bus to spend time at someone's house that I don't know very well to have a meal that my child or I likely won't be able to partake in isn't one of those traditions.

We have things we look forward to, and swe want to enjoy our holiday.  

Quoting chalisa0:

Why don't you want to spend ONE holiday with her?  It's one day out of a lifetime.  She wants to see you.  I'm not getting how going to see her one time is such a burden for you.


sarbear8508
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All or nothing
Today at 12:51 AM
by Gold Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:34 AM
Just tell her you have your own traditions for the holidays. Maybe another day?
catcameback
by on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:35 AM

thanks, this is a nice way of putting it.

Quoting LoveMyBug2013:

Just tell her you are not able to make the drive and have standing plans for the holidays.  Would such and such weekend work for a visit?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 11:35 AM
This

Quoting LoveMyBug2013:

Just tell her you are not able to make the drive and have standing plans for the holidays.  Would such and such weekend work for a visit?

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