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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Love SAHM life?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 51 Replies
1 mom liked this

I'm scared to post about this because SAHMs are a more hardcore group than any gang of Hell's Angel's or Gun toting thugs you'll find on the cold hard streets of Harlem or any places like that. You talk down about them and their ways they'll mercilessly tear you from limb to limb with their words. But for the love of God, could you please try to have mercy and listen with open hearts and minds? for once? and if you can't find it in your soul to do so just please stop reading now?

I don't know what to do with myself in this SAHM life.. I thought this is what I always wanted. Long story short, I was a single mom of two kids, supported us well with a good paying job, always paid my bills on time, (and my idea of on time is not within a grace period, I mean before the due date!) my kids were always well fed and well clothed. Then I met a wonderful man, moved in together, had another kid, got married, and my husband idealy wanted me to stay home and raise our youngest. I always thought after working all my motherhood life that's what I wanted too. but I've been home with for almost a year now and we have struggled fianancially the whole time. paying bills late all the time, paying late fees, even one month didn't pay the mortgage till like the 15th of the month!!! That is totally unacceptable to me! I feel like I did a better job taking care of things as a single mom, I thought getting married and relying on a man it would be better? I also feel such a terrible loss of independance. A total loss of control. I feel kind of imprisoned. I used to have a good career. I used to have a reason to put makeup on and dress in nice clothes for the day. I miss having my own paycheck! I miss having my OWN money. I hate having to ask for money. It make me fee like such a helpless child. I know so many women are so happy being SAHMs and I am honestly so jealous of them because I am so miserable being one. How can anyone enjoy this? maybe you went strait from living with your parents and married your high school sweet heart and never knew the liberating incredible freedom of self sefficiency and independence!!! it's wonderful! So you just don't know any different than simply depending on someone to take care of you all your life... But I miss adult interaction. I miss being a contributing member of society. I knew from a young age I always wanted to be a mom, but I NEVER wanted to be a school teacher at all, so I'm sorry, maybe this makes me a shitty mom, but I am not into doing flash cards and super awesome art projects and stuff like that. I do read to them and we go the park all the time. But I just find this SAHM life to be so boring and unfullfilling and kind of depressing. I mean I can understand for the lucky ones out there who have rich husbands and you can afford to fill your days with tons of going to the mall and shopping or taking your kids to regular soccer practices, piano recitals, dance lesson, gymnastics, swimming lessons, ect... but I live in the middle of the woods, 15 minutes from the nearest anything and it's a gas station. Another 30 minutes I could get to a park and grocery stores.. Those of you who don't have rich husbands, what do you do all day? Any of you given up a career and experienced similar feelings? can you just please not bash me for not loving the sahm life like you all seem to

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 20, 2014 at 5:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JaeMommy07
by Gold Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:01 PM
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I was a SAHM for a year and felt like you. It wasn't for me. There is nothing wrong with not liking being a SAHM. It doesn't mean you don't love your children. Maybe you can get a part time job? Or a work from home job? Volunteer? Start a business?
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kmeow
by Silver Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:02 PM

I used to work full time, then we moved across the country for my husband's job and I've been at home ever since. I have a baby now and I love being a SAHM. I get a lot of fulfillment from meeting the needs of my baby girl every minute of the day. That is sooo not for everyone though, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you need to work outside the home to be fulfilled, that's what you should do! At least part time, or get a volunteer position. Everyone has a different ideal lifestyle.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:02 PM
Start working.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:26 PM
Honestly, I wouldn't be a SAHM if we couldn't afford it. I'd bet a lot of stress comes from just that. For me it was just a matter of finding balance. I get time to myself to do things for myself or to volunteer. I do all the fancy art projects with my three year old. He's learned his alphabet, numbers to twenty, and numbers to ten in Spanish. We play a lot outside. I get out of the house just about every day. We are by no means rich but we get by. We get a seasonal zoo pass and go there a lot. We do fun activities on the computer. We read a lot. We have two dogs. I put together PowerPoint presentations for my kids to learn about different animals. We play in the water sprinkler, snow, rain, or leaves a few times a week. It's just a matter of filling my days with meaningful interactions. I'm content to cuddle with my one year old all day while my oldest watches tv too.
auntietotty
by Ruby Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:31 PM

So dont be a sahm.

Ive never had to work a day of my married life...but have worked most of it because I would go bonkers at home.  Day after day after day..........

I only work part time now because I need to get out of the house a few days a week and socialize with people. (my kids are grown now)

Some do enjoy being a sahm for years. I didnt. (I did it till my kids got in school fulltime) I could only clean, cook, play, craft, etc. for so long.

And in my opinion, if financially you need to work..you should.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:31 PM
For someone who.was so liberated and free blah blah blah why are u complaining and go go back to work not hard to figure out...plus what kid wants a mom at home all day who is bored and depressed bc shes sitting at home with them all day? U are obviously not being as productive as u should be change somthing be a better mom
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:33 PM
I would not be a sahm if we struggled at all. I also would not sah if I had to ask for money.
lovemymini
by Emerald Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:33 PM
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I LOVE being a SAHM!  

With that said, I WOULD NOT be one if we were struggling financially. I WOULD NOT be one if we were living paycheck to paycheck or using PA.

I understand why you don't enjoy being a SAHM because it sounds like you are really stressed by your situation.  I would suggest sitting down with your DH and letting him know how you feel..Maybe look for an evening/overnight job so you aren't missing time with the kids.  There is also a company called Arise which is great, you set your own hours and work from home.  Explain to your husband exactly what your future financial goals are and how you think you can get there.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:34 PM

The only issue I have being a SAHM is sometimes my DH forgets I need things as well. He gets so wrapped up in his own thing that he forgets that I have my own thing as well. It fixes itself quick when I point out what he's doing tho. At first it took him a minute because his mom is a SAHW but she handles all the finances, she just makes sure her DH has money in his bank account to play with lol. So he forgets about the "make sure money is in my account" thing. we have seperate accounts because it's easier for him to just transfer X amount then trying to remember what he spent, and trying to think about what I spent

SoInLove515
by Gold Member on Aug. 20, 2014 at 6:35 PM
I'm a SAHM and getting tired of it honestly. I feel guilty for saying it but most days I want to rip my hair out. Like right now my husband needs to get off the damn phone so I can go to crossfit. I been at home with the kids all day and I need an hour to myself.
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