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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Can't enjoy son because of money?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies

We had good paying jobs when I got pregnant. I was a manager at a Sprint store making $14ish/hr plus commission, and working about 65 hours a week. He was working in a mechanic shop making about $5 more per hour with no commission, so roughly the same as me.

Then his shop got sold and shut down. We moved in with family, and the baby was born early. I essentially got replaced at my job and his new factory job is running low on production, so we are in a tough spot financially.

Tonight he said he has a hard time enjoying our son when he does/learns anything new, and can't get excited about it like I am. I asked why, and he said every time he sees the baby, he regrets him because he pictures all the money we were making before, that we now need for bills, going towards the baby instead. He got mad because today he got paid, and we needed formula, which is going to make us short on the car payment.

Is that a normal thing to say? It hurt to hear that… The baby is four months and a week, and learned how to consistently say "Hi!" (his first real word) yesterday and he doesn't even seem to care at all.

If anyone has had similar feelings, how did you get past them?

Thanks.


EDIT TO ADD: I have a WIC appointment soon. They had a month long wait.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:25 AM
6 moms liked this
Lol your 4 month old doesn't say hi. He makes sounds. And yes its normal for your husband to feel stressed and have a hard time adjusting. Especially if you're broke. Cut him a break.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:26 AM
1 mom liked this
Losing HIS job had nothing to do with the baby. If he doesn't enjoy his baby why is he not out working two jobs to earn the money he wants? Win win. He gets away from the child he dislikes and y'all have money.
Kimicora
by on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:26 AM

I'd be really hurt to hear that and im a cheapass...I try to get everything for the lowest price possible(i don't go around bargining for everything but i extreme coupon and i try to find ways to save around the house) Your child is not something you should worry about money with, if they need it you spend it, I used to have anxiety with money, still do sort of but with spending money on our son(toys, formula, clothes) i enjoy it. Its different...

He's going to have to get over it, he probably isn't happy because he lives with someone else, if he doesn't your relationship is going to end BAD....Money should never be more important than the baby.

zeezoo
by Silver Member on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:27 AM
1 mom liked this

 Hopefully it's just stress-fed statements and not his true feelings. Have a heart to heart with him. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:28 AM
I have videos to prove it. Is there a way to upload them from mobile?

Quoting Anonymous: Lol your 4 month old doesn't say hi. He makes sounds. And yes its normal for your husband to feel stressed and have a hard time adjusting. Especially if you're broke. Cut him a break.
teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:29 AM

he's transferring his own sense of failure onto the baby.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:30 AM
3 moms liked this
He sounds depressed. How did he handle the baby coming early? It was hell on my dh when our son was in the nicu, he was a mess for a year.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:30 AM

WIC

leksismommy
by Platinum Member on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:31 AM
1 mom liked this
Your husband is stressed, when all your problems result from the lack of finances, it's hard to enjoy anything or anyone. I've been there, honestly.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 1:33 AM
Men are supposed to be providers. It's like in their DNA. He is depressed bc he can't provide more. He will come around.
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