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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I dont know how to help my husband

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 61 Replies
I just found out my husband is suffering with depression. I realized something was wrong but I assumed our marriage was failing and heading for divorce. We got into marriage counseling and things were great we stopped arguing and started communicating better. We decided to renew our vows this next winter in Colorado so when we had a huge blow up fight and he took his ring off and said he felt dead inside due to unhappiness I lost it. Finally I got him to speak and every word he spoke screamed depression. I finally talked him into just going and talking to his doctor. Well I was right and they started him on wellbutrin Friday afternoon. He also agreed to meet once a week with our marital counselor alone to get his feelings out along with his meds and we're going twice a month for our marriage sessions still. Im just scared I understand depression due to dealing with it before after my pregnancy so I dont judge him I just fear its my fault. Im scared hes gonna come to the conclusion he hates me and our marriage even though he says his family is about the only thing that can make him happy. How do I deal with this im scared but I love him so much. What do I do please help me im scared and lost. :-(
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:36 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:41 AM
2 moms liked this
Way to make it about you. Depression isn't caused by outside people, it's an imbalance in the brain. He might think it's this or that, but those are all just contributing factors. If he were single right now and had never met you he would still be depressed, but he would think it was because he was lonely. I was diagnosed with depression 7 or so years ago, and I know it's not easy, but you have to focus on helping him. Not making this all about you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:43 AM
1 mom liked this

You should go to individual counseling too. You both need to take care of yourselves before you can work on your marriage. I hope your husband continues his meds and therapy. It can really help with his depression. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:54 AM
Im not making it about me im supporting him 100%
I said im nervous ive never made this about me im doing eveything I can to support him.
I helped him at his doctors appointment.
I taught his dog how to walk on a leash so he could go running so he could get out and moving.
Im looking at places to enroll him into boxing classes like hes talked about.
I constantly tell him how happy and proud of him I am for taking the steps to get better.
I have constant sex with him.
I cook his favorite things.
I send him sweet encouraging texts all day.
I tell him how much I love him and how great of a person he is.
I just said im scared like I said in my post ive been depressed I understand it im just scared. I know its an imbalance I just dont want him to go off the deep end.
im not makining it about me he tells me hes so happy to have my support im just scared.

Quoting Anonymous 2: Way to make it about you. Depression isn't caused by outside people, it's an imbalance in the brain. He might think it's this or that, but those are all just contributing factors. If he were single right now and had never met you he would still be depressed, but he would think it was because he was lonely. I was diagnosed with depression 7 or so years ago, and I know it's not easy, but you have to focus on helping him. Not making this all about you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 2:58 AM
I plan to because I need somewhere safe to get my fears out im just nervous. Im trying to Encourage him to keep strong and stick with his Treatment and he says he wants to and he thanks me all The time for The support.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

You should go to individual counseling too. You both need to take care of yourselves before you can work on your marriage. I hope your husband continues his meds and therapy. It can really help with his depression. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 3:02 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 3:02 AM
I know this gets said a lot, but... sure he's not been cheating? People will go to great lengths to make an excuse to leave a marriage rather than admit they were cheating. Also, cheating actually makes depression worse. Just throwing it out there
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 3:03 AM
It's harder for men with depression than women
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 23, 2014 at 3:05 AM
No I know hes not cheating I could barely get him off the couch after work all he wanted to do was sleep. And our sex life is pretty good hes never shot me down theres no odd habbits. I know hes depressed.

Quoting Anonymous 4: I know this gets said a lot, but... sure he's not been cheating? People will go to great lengths to make an excuse to leave a marriage rather than admit they were cheating. Also, cheating actually makes depression worse. Just throwing it out there
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 23, 2014 at 3:06 AM

Is this true? Links? Articles?

Quoting Anonymous 5: It's harder for men with depression than women


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