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Please read this scenario and tell me what you think UPDATE: what do you think?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies

A man who's a father raises his daughter with his wife, the step mom. Has been this way for many years. Dad was always a single dad since the birth mom didn't want her and gave her to him. Step mom does everything for her step daughter, is her biggest cheerleader, a stand up advocate for her step daughter when it comes to school, a shoulder to cry on, a counselor at times, a mother.

The birth mom is clean for once and wants to have more contact with her daughter. Everyone's fine with that. Then, the birth mom is caught trying to sabotage all of the efforts of the parents who raise the girl. Telling her "you need to get better at lying to those stupid fucks so you can get away with more." And "I don't know why your dad is even with her, he should drop that zero." And "Next time she or him confiscates something I got you I should send aunt martha over there to whoop her ass."

Mind you, the mom had terminated her parental rights years ago, so her even seeing her daughter isn't required. 

Just deal with it so that th kid can have a relationship with her mother? If she's trying to teach her daughter to be a thug like her she has business being around her? Or what do you think? 

Also, what would you feel about the dad not reacting to Bio moms actions and disrespect toward the step mom?

UPDATE:

So the husband and I discussed it and he decided that if her mom truly wants to see her she will have to do it on strict terms. So instead of SD going and visiting over there she will have to find it in herself to come here to have an outing with sd, that will be supervised by the grandma. If they can't make that work then so be it.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
booaura
by Platinum Member on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:04 PM
1 mom liked this
This could potentially be a situation I face. My oldest is not biologically mine, but bio mom gave up all rights and he's my child. Right now, she doesn't want contact and we wouldn't allow any. When ds is older...we'll see. But dh and I are his parents, she isn't, so if something like this happened, she wouldn't be allowed around our child any longer. And if dh didn't agree, we would have a problem. He is my child just as much and I wouldn't tolerate a bad influence, regardless of who it is.
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vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:04 PM
I think mom needs to stay out if the picture period. I'd be pissed and hurt if I was the SM.
Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:05 PM
2 moms liked this

 If she has no rights, visitation needs to cease. And dad needs to man up and take care of this.

CafeMom Tickers
vegaswife2011
by LMAO on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:06 PM
2 moms liked this
I also think SM is the mom, period. BM is nothing as far as I'm concerned.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:07 PM
I'd say if bio mom gave up her rights and now she's back and is that toxic, it's time to cut bio back out. As for dad not stepping in, I'd want to know WHY the woman who left him and his daughter is at this time important enough to him to keep allowing this to happen? If he wants his daughter to know her birth mother and see her for the person she is, fine, but some control needs to be placed in the situation in a manner that benefits the daughter in this. Wow.
corticosteroid
by Ruby Member on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Dial 1-800-4HITMAN.

Hubris_Huntsman
by Platinum Member on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:07 PM
The relationship is harmful to the child. It needs to end immediately.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:07 PM

That's how I feel too, but I've been called "cold" for having the thinking that you have. I wouldn't want my child around any thug, no matter who it is. They keep saying "ohh, but that's her MOM though." I never cared that her mom was...bad...but sabotaging my parenting when I love and raise her kids kinda bothers me.

Quoting booaura: This could potentially be a situation I face. My oldest is not biologically mine, but bio mom gave up all rights and he's my child. Right now, she doesn't want contact and we wouldn't allow any. When ds is older...we'll see. But dh and I are his parents, she isn't, so if something like this happened, she wouldn't be allowed around our child any longer. And if dh didn't agree, we would have a problem. He is my child just as much and I wouldn't tolerate a bad influence, regardless of who it is.


mrsmoonbeam
by on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:08 PM
BMs visits need to stop
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 24, 2014 at 7:09 PM

lol! I swear. She has warrants too and tells her daughter all about her legal problems. I've thought of dropping a dime on her but, nah.

Quoting corticosteroid:

Dial 1-800-4HITMAN.


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