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child support

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
I am big believer that child support should go towards anything for the child including bills as long as the child needs are being met as well but...

What about a man paying child support and having to buy everything the child needs. School clothes, School supplies etc...

This isn't my situation but someone I know. Someone I am related too. Pays his child support weekly but his daughter calls him and tells him she needs school clothes. All of the clothes she has are either to small or too big. Her mama buys her clothes including shoes 2nd hand and a couple of sizes to big so she can grow ito into them. She is in middle school and needs clothes that actually fit her. He goes and spend over $300 on clothes for her because she doesn't have any.

According to her mom all of the child support goes towards bills. She doesn't work and never has and she has a live in boyfriend who works under the table so she doesn't lose her welfare

So my question is what is your opinion on this situation. My bil doesn't have a problem buying clothes and stuff for his daughter but he doesn't understand why his ex doesn't provide anything for their daughter. Why is he having to pay all of her bills and having to provide basic necessity for his daughter too. .
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:49 AM
That's really messed up he should report that. But I'm happy hes providing what his daughter needs since her mother won't.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:49 AM

she sounds like a piece of trash.

I've seen it before!  

momof6nokc
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:50 AM

The ex doesn't buy things for the DD with her CS because she knows she can call the Bank Of Daddy and HE will do it for her.  
He has enabled his ex to be irresponsible with the CS.

From now on he just needs to tell DD that her mother has money to buy her new clothes, and he needs to learn to tell ex "NO" when she comes grubbing around for $$ 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:50 AM

he could take notes, report her lack of upkeep to the court.

if she can't afford the kid even after support being paid, or chooses to not do her share to support the kid, maybe custody should be changed.

support isn't a MAN PAYS thing, the custodial parent also needs to provide.

AJsMom81507
by Gold Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:52 AM

anything he buys for her should be kept at his house, or what does the CS agreement say?

my CS support goes towards ANYTHING a child may need, a roof over their head, electricity, hot water food, clothes, school supplies etc.  if my ex wants to buy them more clothes he leaves them at his house.

he needs to modify the CS to clearly state what the CS is used for. 

and if BM cannot use it wisely, have him take her back to court, because she obviously cannot provide the basic needs for the child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:52 AM

Dad can say no.  His daughter will continue to not have clothes that fit, but then he won't give extra money.  He can't force BM to spend money on specific things.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:52 AM
I use my paycheck and dhs paycheck to pay bills and buy the essentials. I let my child support build up on my card for the extras that way we always have money for fun stuff and vacations.

I don't expect my exh to buy anything for the kids that is why there is an order in place.
Outspoken.Mime
by Platinum Member on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:54 AM

Sounds like my husband's ex.  He paid substantial child support every month and the kids always had clothes that were too small or falling apart unless we bought them, which we did.

Unfortunately, reporting her won't do any good.  What she does with the child support is her business once its in her hands and she doesn't have to prove ANY of it is going toward that child (something I think needs to be changed, but for now the law is the law).  So unfortunately, if he wants the child to have proper care, he is screwed until she is 18.  I wish I had better news.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 25, 2014 at 7:58 AM
The only reason why he never went after custody is because his ex has a child from a previous relationship whom he raised from the time he was 3 months. And his ex told him if he fought for custody he would never see her son again. So for him to remain a part of the son he raised life he choose to not go after custody of his daughter.

But the son is now 17 and she can't keep him from him now he should go after custody of his daughter m she would be better off with him than her anyways. Currently her 17 year old has his girlfriend living in there house as well.

Quoting Anonymous 2:

he could take notes, report her lack of upkeep to the court.

if she can't afford the kid even after support being paid, or chooses to not do her share to support the kid, maybe custody should be changed.

support isn't a MAN PAYS thing, the custodial parent also needs to provide.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 25, 2014 at 8:00 AM

what a lovely person.  That "if you don't do X you'll never see Y again!" is a classic.

hey, maybe adding the GF to the house would work in his favor, regarding occupancy laws.  

Quoting Anonymous 1: The only reason why he never went after custody is because his ex has a child from a previous relationship whom he raised from the time he was 3 months. And his ex told him if he fought for custody he would never see her son again. So for him to remain a part of the son he raised life he choose to not go after custody of his daughter. But the son is now 17 and she can't keep him from him now he should go after custody of his daughter m she would be better off with him than her anyways. Currently her 17 year old has his girlfriend living in there house as well.
Quoting Anonymous 2:

he could take notes, report her lack of upkeep to the court.

if she can't afford the kid even after support being paid, or chooses to not do her share to support the kid, maybe custody should be changed.

support isn't a MAN PAYS thing, the custodial parent also needs to provide.


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