Update on my daughter having alcohol at her wedding. Not good :(
My original post is there. Essentially, after meeting with my husbands sponsor and therapist, we decided going to the wedding wasn't a good idea. We wanted to tell her now so she didn't feel like we we're springing it on her and so if she wanted to change anything she could
We asked her to come over and she did. We told her that we love her, but because her father is so new to his sobriety, going to a vineyard couldn't happen because it could hinder his recovery. We said we'd like to take then out to dinner to celebrate afterwards instead.
She just teared up and said "if you don't come to my wedding, you're dead to me. He's been a selfish prick with his drinking his entire life, he's always put himself and his problems ahead of everyone else, and now he's still just as selfish when he's not a drunk" and about me " you're just as much of an enabler" and went off about how much she hates him for his drinking and how much she blames me for . We tried to get her to calm down but she stormed out and drove home crying and upset.
My DH was almost suicidal that night, I had to take him to his sponsors house, he didn't leave there til the next morning. I called her and she basically said she hates him and she'll never forgive us if we can't put her ahead of his problems this one time.
I don't even know what to do anymore. My husband has been sober and healthy longer than almost all his rehab attempts and if he doesn't feel comfortable there I don't want to threaten that. But I can't even imagine loosing my daughter. I'm heartbroken and I want to go to family therapy but she's refused so far when Ive brought it up.
I know lots of mamas have heartfelt advice and I wanted to provide an update even though it's not a happy one.