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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I confess I can't stand the attitude of my TTC peers

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 146 Replies
23 moms liked this

DF and I have been TTC for 6 years and I have found comfort (only a little, but still comfort) in forums like these. It's a difficult thing to go through. It's harder on me than DF. He is there for me as much as he can be, but I really like having a community of people to talk to that actually know what I am going through firsthand. The false hope, the miscarriages, etc.

But there is this general sense of ridiculous entitlement, and an everything-needs-to-be-about-my-TTC attitude within that community. I am a member of the TTC group on here, as well as other ones throughout the web and on facebook, so I would say that I have a wealth of experience on the subject. Literally on every single one of the groups, the aforementioned attitude is present, and the majority.

I watch women complain about the most petty and trivial things. It's always something about how something somebody said about kids, or pregnancy, or whatever, has made them feel so bad, and that person is the worst person in the world. For a SIMPLE comment that wouldn't bother anybody else that's not TTC. It could be something as simple as "Wow, had a rough day with my kids. Some days I wish I didn't choose to have 3!!" Obviously somebody would mean that as a joke. But apparently, when you are TTC, you are entitled to be an overly sensitive bitch to everybody else in the world. And this is just 1 example of many different offenses that stem from this attitude.

I want to shake these women, and tell them "Yes, YOU have this issue. The rest of the world has their OWN issues, too!! You are NOT special because you can't have a baby!!!!! The rules and expectations that apply to everybody else still apply to you for fucks sakes!! THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU AND YOUR FUCKING UTERUS."

Not being able to conceive is a painful thing, but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on everybody else. I have even tried to talk to some women with these attitudes, in a calm and understanding way, only to receive backlash. It's a shame.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:35 AM
2 moms liked this

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:39 AM
Well I haven't been in the position of that long ttc, but for my daughter it took almost 2 years. I was on a different ttc website forum, and it was mainly all women asking the same method questions, and do you see two lines posts everyday.... On here though people are always quick to play the "I have it worse" game. It's an annoying pity party, but everyone needs a place to vent I guess.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:42 AM
1 mom liked this
To be honest I was part of the TTC group 9 months but TTC for a year and 7 months. Getting on the TTC forum just depressed me or pissed me off
HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:43 AM
3 moms liked this
Luck. I know how stressful it is

I felt the same way. People angry that others are getting pregnant when they know you're trying. People angry "you" complain about your pregnancy or kids because "some people aren't so lucky"

The worst thing was finally getting pregnant and being made to feel like you no longer belong and even life threatening complications are not allowed to be complained about. I felt like I lost my whole support group when I got pregnant.

I hope you get knocked up soon lol
ncbirdie
by Platinum Member on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:43 AM
3 moms liked this

It is one thing to have the issue.  Even to vent it to people who have been or are there.  It is a whole other thing to take it out on the person may have triggered that feeling in you.  I know after my miscarriages there were a couple times where I went to Wal-Mart and it was almost as if it were an underground event for pregnant women to go on a shopping spree; everywhere you turned there were pregnant women.  It hurt that it seemed like I was surrounded by people who had the very thing I was trying for.  I'm pretty sure I even made a vent about it in the TTC group.  Certainly didn't bring it up to any of them, though.

Everyone who has been in a tough spot gains a new perspective.  It helps to teach you to be grateful for what you have.  Unfortunately, it also opens your eyes to the fact that many people aren't as grateful as you would be if you, in your enlightened state, could trade places with them.  It wouldn't surprise me at all, though, if the woman who winds up with triplets from IVF doesn't have more than a couple days where she thinks, "Did I really sign up for all of this?"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 3:45 AM
1 mom liked this
I understand. Ttc sucks, I spent like 10 years in pursuit of pregnancy, blah! I never fit in with the ttc crowd either. I hope your journey is over quickly!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 4:58 AM

I totally agree with you...I left the TTC forum because of that same thing.
I got pregnant but thought I was miscarrying...so I continued to post and the women were really supportive...UNTIL I didn't miscarry...when I posted my ultrasound showing that the baby had survived I was ripped apart.
Told how HORRIBLE I was for posting a picture of an ultrasound on a TTC forum and how I needed to be more sensitive...but literally hours earlier they had been "praying" for me

it really sickened me....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 5:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Why have u been engaged 6 yrs and trying for baby and not married yet?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Aug. 28, 2014 at 5:20 AM
I can understand that.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 28, 2014 at 5:40 AM
5 moms liked this


Quoting Anonymous 6: Why have u been engaged 6 yrs and trying for baby and not married yet?

We've been engaged longer than 6 years. That information isn't really relevant to this post, though.

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