And you all wonder why I dislike my stepdaughter. Probably last update.
It's because she pulls shit like this.
My 17yo Nephew lives with us, and he is gay as a maypole. He hasn't been to work for a couple of days because of a kidney infection, so this afternoon I took the opportunity to shower alone and asked if he could watch my two year old and listen out for SD (who is 13, pregnant, and on bed rest for those who don't know.) At some point SD called out for me to fill up her drink bottle, so DN goes in to grab it and fill it up for her. When he went to give it back to her, he finds SD sprawled on the bed with her breasts out, telling him how horny she is and that he better have sex with her or she would tell DH and I that he raped her.
At some point DN had the good sense to start recording her on his phone and caught a good part of the conversation, but once she realized what he was doing she starts screaming for me, telling him to stop it and get out of her room.
Cue me, still in a towel, and my youngest sons tutor running in to see what was going on, to find SD red faced and bare breasted and DN standing there holding a water bottle with a confused, WTF? look on his face. SD is screaming that DN forced himself upon her, DN says that he didn't and shows us the video, at which point DS tutor excuses himself (lucky bastard) and I call DH to come home. As soon as he did, I just packed DN,DS,DD and myself up and the car and drove around to my moms house, I was completely enraged.
So now I'm still at my mothers house, where I will be spending the night, but will have to go home soon to put my other kids to bed and grab DS medicine. I've collected myself and my thoughts a lot and my rage is gone, but I am still more angry than I have ever been in my entire life, so I am not going to speak to DH at all (not because I'm mad at him, but because that is what we will have to talk about), and I am not even going to look at SD. At this very second, she is dead to me.
So yes, it because of shit like this why I can't like or love her. I find it impossible, as a woman,mother, and survivor of rape to just forgive and forget this type of thing. It is one thing to do this stuff to me, but when you fuck around with one of my kids lives like that, nope, I can't just put that behind me. I don't know if I will be able to move on from this. Something has going to have to give. She really is her mothers womb nugget.
Update: So I am back at home trying to put my kids to bed. SD is screaming and crying in the background for me to come and talk to her, she can explain, she wants to apologize to Yasha (my nephew), she needs my help so she can shower and use the toilet. Tough, I am not talking to her right now or else I will say things I can't take back. Not to mention the fact that I've had to move my twins, whose room is across the hall from hers, to DH and my bedroom because she won't stop screaming at me and they are getting upset and can't sleep. Because that's the way to get me to want to talk and have a heart to heart with you - prevent me from getting my kids to sleep. So now I'm just laying on my bed, rubbing DS back and waiting for him to fall asleep when he should have been asleep an hour ago, listening to her wailing down the hall. DH and I are going to go to breakfast tomorrow to talk about it tomorrow. I just don't have the patience or energy to think about it anymore tonight. I just want to get back to my moms and go to bed.
Update: DH and I went out to breakfast this morning, which was nice. I told him pretty much what I told him on my other post - That I was only willing to help SD to the point of it hurting my children, which it has started to, and now I needed her out of my house. She goes, or the both of them go, either way she needs to leave now. DH agreed to that and asked me to give him a week to sort something out. He also told me that I need to decide what I want to do with the baby, which I also asked for a week. We also decided we need to sit down in the foreseeable future and decide what we are going to do about my other two stepkids, so that we won't be in this situation again with SD9 in two years time.
So some questions answered, most not, but we seem to be moving in the right direction now at least.
DH is having breakfast with BM this morning to discuss options with her. He has also been in contact with a few therapeutic boarding schools that deal in teenage girls with emotional and behavioural challenges for a few weeks now foer her to attend in the new year. I wasn't aware of that until this morning, DH has obviously picked up on SD needs long before I did. DH is speaking with BM this morning about this, as the one he particularly likes and feels will be a good fit for SD is in Arizonia and we live in Cali, so he will need her permission to attend out of state. BM hasn't seen, and hardly spoken to SD since late April, so this should be interesting.
So BM has agreed to take SD back for the remainder of her pregnancy under a few conditions. That it is either DH or I who need to be present at the birth and take her to all her appointments, she wants nothing to do with it. And that we need to keep SS while SD is at her house. She says she can't accommodate all 4 of her children in her house, so if SD goes back either SD9 or SS11 need to remain here. And apparently SS is the sacrificial lamb because 'that bitch has issues with SD9 weight.' (Which in all honesty, I do, she is 9 and 135 pounds, but I would never say anything to her about it) and 'DS has been craving some man on man time'. So there we go, we have SS for the next 10 or so weeks (which is an issue for the BF forum because if we need to change his school around and shift his whole entire life because BM is being petty, I am not sending him back come November. But that is a different thread), SD goes back to her mother, and we now know BM's true colors; She is a true Medea, willing to sacrifice her own children to get back at a man who left her a decade ago. No wonder her and MIL remain such good friends.
But on the plus side she has agreed that it is in SD best interest to attend the boarding school in Arizona come the new year. On the condition that we keep the baby for the 10 month period it will take SD to complete the course. I know it is just a way for BM to get inside our heads and our house, but whatever. Just as long as SD is out of my house and getting the help she so obviously needs.
That's about all really. I don't think there will be much to update on my SD front anymore into the baby gets here. So keep an eye out early to mid November for that. Thank you to those who have been supportive and sent me lovely messages over the last however months. It's been a rough journey, but SD will finally be out of my house tomorrow night. Thank god for that.