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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Tips for a crazy 3 year old? Warning, it's pretty long.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 97 Replies
Okay, I feel like such a mom failure. I have an Early Childhood Education degree and can't control my own child. I need help. She is so smart it's crazy but sometimes she's just out of control.

The issues:
She fell in love with her binky as a baby. On her 3rd birthday, we had her throw them away, say goodbye to them, watched videos about it, etc. She was okay until bedtime. It was a fucking nightmare. She's so stubborn it was 3 hours of crying...we didn't give in. She got used to not having them until....her baby sister became mobile and dropped them everywhere for her to pickup. She started using them again at night, now thinks they're a necessity again. Now I have 2 binky addicted kids. Fuck the binky search. Ugh. I'm talking hour long meltdowns if you say no and waking up all night crying for it. Next week is the big cutoff. Wish me luck.

She is (well they both are) awful in the store. The one year old refuses to sit in the cart. If I buckle it, she will skin her legs on the belt making herself stand up. So I'm fighting with her to sit down and the older one runs and touches everything no matter what I say. If I put her in the back of the cart she's either screaming and crying or climbing out. I hate shopping. And yes, other moms are judging the entire time...I'm almost crying by the end. It's to the point I can't take them anymore until they're older.

The fucking screaming and whining is driving me nuts. Today she screamed and cried for snack. I told her to wait until I was done with the dishes. More crying but she did. When I sat out watermelon, goldfish and ice water she screamed and cried for blueberries. At this point I am ashamed to admit I got out the blueberries. (It's been a long day). Then she screamed and cried for the "big blueberries", wtfe that means. I told her to deal. It's just exhausting that she fights me on everything All Day.

Yes, we do spank, but obviously, on this child it does not work. We have done timeouts. We dont give into her every fit. I'm kind of at a loss and know I have failed as a mother and I feel shitty every day. She is a hard kiddo and I love her so much, I just feel like I'm doing this whole parenting thing all wrong and feel so stupid. How do you graduate college at the top of your class for this and not know how to control your own child???

She bites her little sister when mad about toys or anything. Says she's a "bad baby". Also the highlight of my day today was when she screamed at me for not giving her a midday binky that I "am not her mommy anymore and she doesn't love me" I know she's 3 and doesn't mean it but man that hurts! I just tell her "That's okay, I love you enough for both of us".

So usually I'm yelling at her all day, nobody is enjoying life and I suck. I've lost my cool a couple times and have screamed or spanked a little too hard--never leaving marks so calm your little cps dialers...but it just makes me feel 100 times worse and her too, I'm sure. I don't want to be that mom.

Side note: At her grandparents or my friends house she is a perfect lady. Please, thank you, the whole nine. Wtf? I know children are generally better without their parents but damn.

I know a lot of moms will say "I wouldn't let my child do any of that..." That's great, but how? Wtf am I missing here?
Okay, thanks for reading. Help if you can, please don't bash, I'm doing my best here. I've only ever wanted to be a mommy since I was 5. Who knew I'd be awful at it?
Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:30 AM

Young kids/toddlers act like a$$holes around those they are closest to i.e mom.  My kids did the same shit at those ages.  Angels for EVERYONE else but me.  They grow out of it.

BTW my kids are 6 and 7 and still have their blankies, although only to sleep with.  Maybe you can digress and let her have her binkie at night in the interim.  GL!

drowningmama
by vendetta on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:32 AM
Ignore it. Put an earbud in 1 ear and tune it out.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:33 AM
That's where we are now, only binkies at night...but I can see her teeth are starting to shift and I don't want that so she'll have to go cold turkey again! Lol I think toddlers can be a$$holes in general!

Quoting Anonymous 2:

Young kids/toddlers act like a$$holes around those they are closest to i.e mom.  My kids did the same shit at those ages.  Angels for EVERYONE else but me.  They grow out of it.

BTW my kids are 6 and 7 and still have their blankies, although only to sleep with.  Maybe you can digress and let her have her binkie at night in the interim.  GL!

MagicMonkey
by Cilla on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:34 AM
3 moms liked this
For the older one, when she's bad out make a consequence and follow through. Ds hates time out. If he's naughty out he'll either get a time out there and then or he'll go to his room when we get home, he's nearly 3. Also. Make a mental note to stop the yelling. I find ds is much better and responds better when there's no yelling.

One more thing, positive thinking. Tell yourself every day "I am a good mum. I am great" start off making yourself feel better and rethink this throughout the day. Slowly things will improve
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you! I guess I hadn't really thought about a time out when we got home. And this weekend I did wake up with a great attitude and told my dh "We are not yelling at her today" so we consciously checked ourselves all day and it was better--minus the insane grocery store trip!

I will actively try the no yelling and affirmations now daily. Thank you!

Quoting MagicMonkey: For the older one, when she's bad out make a consequence and follow through. Ds hates time out. If he's naughty out he'll either get a time out there and then or he'll go to his room when we get home, he's nearly 3. Also. Make a mental note to stop the yelling. I find ds is much better and responds better when there's no yelling.

One more thing, positive thinking. Tell yourself every day "I am a good mum. I am great" start off making yourself feel better and rethink this throughout the day. Slowly things will improve
HistoryNutty
by Ruby Member on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:40 AM
Do you happen to have my kiddo?!

One day I started 'yelling' at her while grocery shopping. I hate that my husband can 'choose' not to come with us to the store. I could use the extra hands.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:42 AM
I like this idea and if her sister isn't around her, I can. Otherwise she'll push/bite etc. her sister just because she's in her space during a fit. Ugh.

Quoting drowningmama: Ignore it. Put an earbud in 1 ear and tune it out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:42 AM
1 mom liked this

Kids reflect what they see their parents do, if you act hostile and yell a lot than your child acts hostile and yells a lot. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:44 AM
Right? Mine "chose" to go look at beard trimmers-during checkout. Of $200 worth of groceries and 2 out of control kids ripping the impulse buy crap off the shelves. In Wal-Mart. I was almost suicidal when we left. Lol Damn men.

Quoting HistoryNutty: Do you happen to have my kiddo?!

One day I started 'yelling' at her while grocery shopping. I hate that my husband can 'choose' not to come with us to the store. I could use the extra hands.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 3, 2014 at 3:48 AM
1 mom liked this
My immediate response is to get defensive and snarky but you are right. I wouldn't say I'm "hostile" but I admit I need to work on my temper. I need to be a better role model. Tomorrow is a new day right? Thanks for your reply.

Quoting Anonymous 3:

Kids reflect what they see their parents do, if you act hostile and yell a lot than your child acts hostile and yells a lot. 

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