Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My mom was arrested..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

My mother is a convicted pedophile, hence why I went anon, I do not wish to be connected to her crime. Long story short she put my sister (16 at the time) in a situation she wasn't meant to be in. My mom did not molest my sister, but was present when an over 18 year old man had sex with her. Yes, it was consensual on my sister's behalf. (They had a weird relationship) I was physically and mentally abused by my mother and sister for a very long time, until I moved out with my husband. I find myself right now, kind of sad for my mother. I feel sad that she will go back to prison for violating, she had an online e-mail and didn't register with the police. She had just started a job, she was getting her life on track and now she is arrested again. I don't understand why I care so much, I have spoken with my father and also my husband's mom, they just keep telling me to not worry about her or the problem, but I can't seem to. I feel like I should save the day. I just don't know how to pull this part of me out that needs to save her every time. I guess I'm just lost.

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:08 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Yariol987
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:16 AM
Wow that's definitely a sucky situation to say the least. I understand she's your mother so you feel bad for her, but at the same time she got herself in this mess and you have to let her deal with it. She's a grown woman not a child. Sorry you were abused when you were younger :/
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:16 AM

Hugs to you.  I would just focus on your family like others have suggested since she is an adult and knows how to make better choices.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:22 AM

That's what everyone around me says, but it's just something inside me that just instinctively feels bad and like I should run to the rescue. I just recently cut connection with her about 4 months ago, I was just tired of all of the crap that came along with her sentence, I have 2 small children, and I just couldn't risk it anymore. I just can't seem to find a way to cut this part of me out, to be able to just cut her off and let it go.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:37 AM
I know how you feel. My mom has screwed me over so many times (not literally) but yet I always cave in and help her.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

That's what everyone around me says, but it's just something inside me that just instinctively feels bad and like I should run to the rescue. I just recently cut connection with her about 4 months ago, I was just tired of all of the crap that came along with her sentence, I have 2 small children, and I just couldn't risk it anymore. I just can't seem to find a way to cut this part of me out, to be able to just cut her off and let it go.

Yariol987
by Bronze Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 3:45 AM
I get it I really do, my father is a heroin addict and for years I felt bad for him even though he neglected us as children and abused my mother. I always felt like I could fix/save him, and everyone around me told me to just leave it alone but I didn't. I had to learn my lesson the hard way, he ended up stealing money from me to get high. That was the moment I realized I couldn't fix him, only he could. I haven't seen him in about 8 years, I don't even know if he's dead or alive, but what I do know is I tried to help him/establish a relationship with him and he didn't. So I can move on knowing I did my part...it sucks, but it is what it is. You can't continue carrying your mother's problems on your shoulders, because eventually it will drain the hell out of you. And you don't need that in your life, you have your own family to worry about.

Quoting Anonymous 1:

That's what everyone around me says, but it's just something inside me that just instinctively feels bad and like I should run to the rescue. I just recently cut connection with her about 4 months ago, I was just tired of all of the crap that came along with her sentence, I have 2 small children, and I just couldn't risk it anymore. I just can't seem to find a way to cut this part of me out, to be able to just cut her off and let it go.

strtngovrmom
by Member on Sep. 23, 2014 at 4:15 AM

i know how you feel, i had a neglectful mom, was raised by paternal granparents, but you will love her forever, but i agree you should not take on her problems and disrupt your family

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)