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If you have stayed after an affair, or if cheating is not a deal breaker...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

What steps did you take to recover your marriage and heal?


What specifically did your husband do to make it up to you and show you he wasnt going to repeat?


What did you do to get past it?


How did you know he really meant it?

Posted by Anonymous on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-2):
FoodieBacon
by on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:47 AM
Umm..I've never had to deal with cheating, but cheating in general is not a deal breaker for me. I haven't told my husband that lol but, depending on the circumstances, I would be forgiving. Those circumstances are:
Protected sex
No oral given
No child produced
No STD
One time thing
He has to tell me, I can't find out on my own
It has to be a female I do not know and one he had no prior ties with
If it's a coworker, he has to quit. Yes, quit lol

So, if the circumstances are any different than what's listed above, we will be divorcing. Other than that, marriage counseling and an effort to reconnect will be on the itinerary.

EDIT: You can never fully know whether or not it will happen again. Most people don't think it will happen then first time. It is really just a leap of faith. You have to hope that your partner wants to do better as much as you do. If you are going through this, good luck to you.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Sep. 23, 2014 at 8:52 AM

My DH had an affair just over a year ago.  Initially, we both decided to divorce but continue to co-parent.  In order to do that effectively, we entered into therapy.  Through therapy, we talked about what led up to the affair and decided to give our marriage another try.  My husband didn't do anything "specific" to make it up to me but we have continued to keep the communication going and I feel confident that he is not going to have another affair.

I was past it the moment we decided that our marriage was worth saving.

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